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May 15th, 2013 - Patrick-972675 said:

Too much damn paperwork!

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May 14th, 2013 - Patricia-497944 said:

I'm just overwhelmed by the paperwork. I want to complete this process, but end up feeling very blue just thinking about it. I took my marriage seriously, and didn't want a divorce. Unfortunately, if one person wants out, then it's over. It's on the to do list, but it's not at the top.

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May 2nd, 2013 - Karen-856326 said:

I could not figure out how to tell 5 children that their father and I were divorcing and had never really been married. What would that do to a child's emotional well-being? I couldn't bring myself to do that to them and so I remained alone for many years. It was not easy but I feel I did the right thing. He died several years ago so I am now free to marry.

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April 23rd, 2013 - Jacques-961161 said:

Because they don't know. I have been divorced for almost three years and I had no clue there was such thing as an annulment. I spoke with the priest of my church only last Sunday, after reading about annulment on this site. He suggested that I live like him and I said absolutely not and quoted 1 Cor 7:8-9 and then Genesis 2:18. Then he explained that it is a long process.

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April 22nd, 2013 - Richard-748304 said:

It is too expensive and embarrassing also time consuming. I also don't know what the proper procedure is and what to expect. dick

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April 14th, 2013 - Meg-920823 said:

I think at first it is thinking there won't be another, so why apply? Then it might be fear of the pain and overwhelmed at the process and scared of the determination.

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April 6th, 2013 - Amy-766016 said:

I think they need to be more educated ,and when I say they I mean all Catholics. Not that the Catholic Church wants people to get Divorced,but if in fact they are there are so many Catholics that have such a Bad Opinion when it comes to Annulments. I went and I was granted a Annulment and I was shocked by the reaction mostly negative from Catholics when I told then about the Annulment. I feel at times at Mass a Priest should take 10mins. to make it very clear exactly what it is all about. The Bishop also should write a letter and it should explain in Great Detail about the Annulment Process. That it doesn't mean your children you and your x-husband are non-exsistant,there are so many confused Catholics that just need the Truth told by a member of the Church that they trust. I'm very Happy I went through the process.

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March 30th, 2013 - Arlene-713441 said:

Right after my divorce I applied for my annulment. That was 20 years ago. I never regretted my decision. I wanted to take action while everything was fresh in my mind. I wanted to know where I stood with the church in Roman, my on church here and the Catholic community that I had been a part of for decades. I just simply put myself in Gods' hands or let the chips fall whee they may. I was blessed and the annulment came through without a hitch. I sent in an agreed amount each month until it was paid off. It has been 20 year and I have not yet been on a date. Never was there another person waiting in the wings for me. No, I just wanted to

have a path to follow Our Lord on again. I received comments that all children were considered illegitimate that were born in the marriage that wasn't a marriage another. My reply was you have to have been married in the first place to receive an annulment. Other comment that aren't even worth repeating because there wasn't any merit to them, were totally our of line. I took a leap of Faith. I am still single but I know I have a clean slate.

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March 21st, 2013 - Nilda-834707 said:

An annulment is necessary at times for various reasons, and the Church is savy enough to grant them. Money should not be an issue -- if you can spend 10,000+ for a beautiful wedding reception, then fork out the money to free yourself from a bad marriage and move on with your life. Out there, somewhere, is that special someone who will join you in Holy Matrimony. Don't go changing your religion because you want to get married again. The Holy Church takes care of us Catholics.

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March 11th, 2013 - Teresa-944496 said:

My annulment was granted in the Archdiocese of Washington, and it took about one year from beginning to end. The priest at the Tribunal told me that more than one circumstance existed when my marriage took place that would move the nullification process forward, but he did focus on only one circumstance. The cost was less than $1,000, and the payments were made over a period of months. I find that people seem to be rather hostile to the annulment process until they do serious research and find out exactly what the process entails. My parish priest did tell me that the Archdiocese of Washington at the time was particularly compassionate toward people seeking annulments, which maybe isn't the case everywhere. I was very uncomfortable being sacramentally bound to a man who did not respect the Catholic Sacrament of Holy Matrimony and only found peace after my divorce through the annulment process.

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March 10th, 2013 - Mary-937794 said:

The bigger the Archdiocese is, the longer it takes. Also, the cost can be very high, even if you work with trying to lower the fees or making payments. Sometimes, you can get the fees waived, however, that is very difficult and it all takes a great deal of time - years.

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March 2nd, 2013 - Abby-949735 said:

Embarassment i think

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March 1st, 2013 - Susan-949328 said:

I wanted to, plust i want to move on. i am really happy now. I already did annulment. 949328

Cell phone is 703-994-8815, i am doing this at work, cause I don't have a computer at home. I was raised as a catholic and my daughter also. I want to meet people and be happy again and to get out.

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February 27th, 2013 - Teresa-944496 said:

In my experience, an ecclestiastical annulment does not diminish the children at all. The church is very clear in her teaching on declarations of nullity that the process is one of healing, and the church always acts in the interest of love for all her faithful. Once my civil divorce was final, I almost ran to my parish priest to begin the annulment process. I was met with nothing but compassion. For me and my daughters, the civil divorce was a traumatizing public embarrassment which had already diminished us. The annulment process was explained with compassion every step of the way, and my daughters understood the difference between a marriage being invalid sacramentally while it had been civilly legal.

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July 15th, 2010 - Karen-588632 said:

Annulments are costly, not encourage (regardless of the reason for the divorce), and Churches don't seem particularly welcoming to Singles or Divorced members.

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June 25th, 2009 - Theresa-110510 said:

Since the criteria for granting annulments is so low, and most anyone can get 'em (our Pope has apparently said (NOT ex cathedra by the way) that he would like dioceses to, for the sake of the faithful, push annulments through in a 1 1/2 year time frame, though encouraged people to try to work things out first rather than going this route.) HUH? Encourage couples to continue to live in sin (would be the case if they WEREN'T REALLY MARRIED, wouldn't it? (insert major eye roll here.)

The Church can't have it both ways. They want to grant annulments so people won't stop being Catholic; and then say they're not Protestant in that they don't essentially believe in divorce! They stamp 'annulled' to show a sacramental marriage which man cannot tear asunder was and now is null and void; well, what of all the married people in the congregation who don't apply for annulments at all and instead continually (like fools I suppose) work on their marriages? Are they considered to be living in sin? If the Church spent more time and resources in groups to help single Catholics from the teen years up socialize with each other and be less influenced by the world and their friends and co-workers in it; they'd be more likely to have made good Catholic marriages in the first place. The clergy should be focusing on this rather than worrying about how they can now get married and be priests too.

Good single Catholics can say they only want to marry someone who is free to marry in the Catholic Church; but who knows if that's really what they're doing when they're dating someone who is annulled? The true Catholic Church at the time of St. Thomas More rarely granted annulments; the liberal Protestant one we have today would have granted King Henry his annulment for the asking.

This all said my heart truly goes out to those whose marriages have ended despite all the work they put in trying to save them.

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June 24th, 2009 - Connie-399477 said:

I completed an annulment. One thing you have to remember is that the ONLY thing the church cares about is your frame of mind on your wedding day. Where you lacking the spiritual connection needed for a true marriage. Since I knew on my wedding day that it was a mistake but continued with the ceremony anyways due to family pressures, my annulment was simple. What happened after the marriage did not matter--at least, not to the Catholic Church. Legally yes, anulment wise, no. So, don't go into an annulment with all sorts of proof of "what he did". It doesn't matter. Go into the annulment process being honest with what you were feeling the days before and day of your wedding.

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June 24th, 2009 - Jim-418698 said:

I agree with post that says that most requests are granted. And to me the low bar diminishes the vows I took in the sacrament of marriage. I was married 7 years and adopted two kids. It went bad. I could probably get an annulment on the grounds that I want to be free to marry in the church. Doesn't mean much when the answer is always 'Yes.' Jim

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June 21st, 2009 - Elizabeth-281889 said:

I agree with George and Jean! :o)

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June 20th, 2009 - George-166509 said:

Instead of seeking annulments, why don't spouses forgive each other and save their marriages?

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June 18th, 2009 - Yolande-315081 said:

Don't let that stops you.I went through it.It was hard,but it paid off.

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June 12th, 2009 - James-404829 said:

This is a loaded question.

It presents an assumption that many failed marriages were indeed invalid to begin with. In the human terms presented, 'Embarassment' and 'Scared' are somewhat the same. Perhaps it would be better if one of these were changed to reflect the nature of marriage in that vast majority of marriages are valid --- even those that end in divorce.

The failure of a valid marriage is always due to a willful neglect of unity by both parties -- even if one is apparently or visibly more culpable than the other.

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June 4th, 2009 - Jennifer-175599 said:

I think more do not because it's easier to say "things didn't work out" than to really, honestly examine what was true at the time of the sacrament.

It takes energy, time, retrospection, and honesty to go through the process.

Frankly, many people have just been through a very difficult time - divorce, legal stuff, custody issues, possibly moving - it amounts to the death of your dreams and the loss of security.

When you finally get stabilized, you want to live your life a little. And annulment processes can seem like more of the same piling on...

I recommend it however, because it really does help resolve so many questions about "WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED?!"

When done properly, the annulment process can be theraputic, healing, and far more beneficial than not.

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May 27th, 2009 - MaryBeth-215985 said:

I think that some people do not even know that it exists...my friends mom got divorced about 8 years ago because she was in an abusive relationship and she knew that divorce doesnt "void" the marriage in the eyes of the church and she was upset about it because she felt like she was still married so I told her she should get an annullment because I thought she had a case. She started the process two years ago and only recently was granted the anullment and she could not be happier right now :)

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May 26th, 2009 - Kirby-386318 said:

I am just starting mine. I feel like a did wrong in the eyes of the church. I knew going into my marriage it was not good. I didnt want to make waves and thought I could work it out with time. I should have listened to my gut. I am glad I have strarted my process

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May 25th, 2009 - Brenda-444789 said:

I waited what I now feel was too many years to gather the courage to go foward with my annulment proceedings. It was difficult for me to make myself take a close examination of a marriage that had turned out to be an illusion created with smoke and mirrors. To know with certainty, what I deep down knew to be the truth that I had avoided for so long, left me in fear of what I'd discover about myself. There was also a very present fear, despite having multiple priest and lay people assure me that I undoubtedly had concrete grounds for a declaration of nullity, that the tribunal might not grant one and I would be forever left outside the sacraments if I chose to remarry. Somehow a possible 'maybe' was temporarily more comforting then risking a definite 'no'.

I think sometimes people put off filing for an annulment because of assorted fears they may have.

I now encourage my fellow divorced Catholics to file for annulment as soon as possible, put their faith in God and get on with their life.

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May 23rd, 2009 - Elizabeth-284758 said:

I don't even know the difference between a divorce and an annulment. Whenever I hear about people getting separated it is always a divorce. An annulment is not as well know about.

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May 23rd, 2009 - Carol-393093 said:

My reason for not seeking an annulment is not one of the choices. I feel confident that it would be granted, but think the wait time will be good for both my intended and me should I get to the stage of wanting to remarry. It would keep me from being impulsive as if I am ever to remarry it would have to be a Catholic ceremony.

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May 23rd, 2009 - Carol-393093 said:

My reason for not seeking an annulment is not one of the choices. I feel confident that it would be granted, but think the wait time will be good for both my intended and me should I get to the stage of wanting to remarry. It would keep me from being impulsive as if I am ever to remarry it would have to be a Catholic ceremony.

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May 22nd, 2009 - Don-374663 said:

I agree Linda. I had the situation of my former wife admitting to my best friend's wife in private that if she ever caught me having an affair with anyone else that she would divorce me. That was said before we even married. She went to the alter with that "condition of consent" which is an automatic disqualifier in God's eyes for having a vaild, sacramental marriage. My best friend's wife witnessing to that is what I believed brought about the decision for the granting of nullity of my marriage. There is no detrimental aspects toward how anyone can regard the legitimacy of the children in the dissolved union. The legitimacy is based on the legal aspect of the marriage not the sacrementality of it.

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May 19th, 2009 - Alex-382372 said:

this suprises me m would think embarassment would be the reason.

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May 19th, 2009 - Peter-44842 said:

Yes, it is important to rectify one's status with the Church. I've never been married. But I've witnessed multiple annulment cases. I also know highly trained and very orthodox priests and canon lawyers who handle them.

Anyone with sense quickly realizes these are complicated and deeply personal matters you wouldn't wish on people. Cases often invoke subtle situations and canonical distinctions the public seldom is or even cannot be aware of. Personally I'm much more concerned about my own standing with God than with playing amateur theologian / tribunal regarding others' standing with the Church. There are holy and experienced pastoral priests trained to help people begin to sort through things. They are not perfect, no, but they're a better start than listening to hearsay.

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May 17th, 2009 - Mike-98369 said:

Thank you Steve and Maryanne for standing up for those who get dumped, ooops, I mean, those who 'caused themselves to get dumped' (which is, afterall, who the 'leavers' like to portray their actions to others). Notice on this poll, they do not even list the most relevant answer, "Because they do not deserve an annulment". Read the work of Bai McFarlane (also spelled "MacFarlane" in some articles) and the Mary Advocates.

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May 9th, 2009 - Theresa-420249 said:

People still don't understand what annulment means, so the children get hurt, the ex-spouses get hurt, the in-laws get hurt, the friends get confused. It was the best way to move on and yet heal on the part of the ones that seek it, but there is a lot of misinformation about it. It would help if counseling before a next marriage wasn't considered a "prohibition". Anyone getting married in the Catholic Church, whether married before or not, should get pre-marital counseling, so as not to make the same mistakes again, for instance. It shouldn't be called a "prohibition" before re-marrying, when people that care are going to do it, people that don't, aren't. It should simply be required for anyone marrying in the Catholic Church and communicated as such.

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May 8th, 2009 - James-404829 said:

I'd say many know their marriages are completely valid, having taken vows in full cognizance. Often the marriage is valid even though it appears invalid because of egregious neglect of the freely given Sacramental Grace in a conjugal life in Christ Jesus. Couples who pray together daily, do not engage the culture of death via constraception, and accept suffering in denying themselves and selfish acquisition of unneccessary belongings know this truth in the depths of their souls. You're only mission as a spouse is to find the other a way to Heaven by learning to recognize the Face of Christ.

St. Paul said after his wife left him because he became a Christian... If you failed once don't bother trying again -- you're better not married.

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May 5th, 2009 - Susan-330819 said:

I'm hoping my annulment will come thru in a few more weeks. I think the reason more people don't go thru with the process is confusion about what it is and concern about the amount of time it takes. So many people seem to think annulment is "catholic divorce" or that it is a "loop hole" to end a marriage or that it makes children illegitimate or that it costs thousands of dollars -- NONE of those things are TRUE. Very simplistically, the declaration of nullity says a sacrament was not conferred on the day of the marriage. And because our Church does take marriage so seriously, the process can be lengthy.

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May 5th, 2009 - Dan-1708 said:

Huh? This is puzzling. How does it "diminish your children"? For that matter, why do you associate it with "sin"?

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