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August 15th, 2012 - Trent-693243 said:

i had this discussion with my daughter and i expect her future husband to ask me. This is a sign of respect and if he has the courage to ask me then i figured he is mature enough to be responsible to take care of the most precious gift that he will be responsible for my daughter. This will also give me the opportunity to share with him Gods expectations for marriage and what his role as husband should be.

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June 22nd, 2012 - John-683886 said:

something I had thought was standard practice, previously, but now I know it's possible to see if it were ever an option. I've not married, so, perhaps it's a good idea!

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April 12th, 2012 - Lorraine-361741 said:

a must!

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December 20th, 2011 - Jennifer-603810 said:

It is so appropriate. If someone asked my parents permission, they wouldn't tell me. My little brother asked his fiance's parents and then set up a romantic date on Christmas Eve. People may think it is old fashioned but I think it shows character and respect for not only your future spouse but for her parents!

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December 15th, 2011 - Deborah-790049 said:

i would prefer surprise and at my age -i do not think my parents permission reqired--though they would no asap and be happy

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October 11th, 2011 - Katie-768537 said:

CRAZY !!! WE ARE ALL ADUTS HERE AND CAN MAKE UP OUR OWN MINDS !!!!

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May 11th, 2011 - Julie-627358 said:

I;m old fashioend I guess, butI think it's still proper to ask permition to marry a daughter . This is a fast and growing age we live in tday and I'd like to think we have some of the old virtues still left today.

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March 2nd, 2011 - Alexander-666334 said:

This is so Japanese and so appropriate considering marriage should never be taken lightly.

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February 27th, 2011 - Marigien-124542 said:

Not only is a lovely and romantic tradition, it also represents the complement of the Alliance.

1 .- They swear eternal love.

2 .- parents bless that Love

3 .- The community is witness to that love and blessing of God through the priest.

All this leads to seal the alliance, the pact, the decision to build a better world, to walk the same path, making together a mission, to accept responsibility for the consequences of the decision.

A partnership that maintains its strength in the love of two who is also God's Love

In this world belongs to God, and often seem not to belong. this world of disposable relationships, it is necessary that each of us make a difference and show that there is a different way of love, which does not locking tie, but liberates, projects and beyond.

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February 6th, 2011 - Quentin-43809 said:

My youngest daughters husband called me to ask for her hand in marriage. I was so surprized that I couldnt give him an answer so I told him I would call him back in a few days with the answer. He said "ok" and hung up. About 45 mininutes later my daughter called and said "Hi Daddy" in the same tone that she use to call when she needed money in college. But after a short pause she said "What the heck is going on down there, He is asking for my hand in marriage. Make a decision" then I told her to pput him back on the phone and told him I was sorry but he caught me at a time I just was so startled that I could hardly think, Anyway they got married and so far have had one great grandchild and are expecting another.

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February 4th, 2011 - MichelouFaye-559390 said:

I agree that "permission" be replaced with "blessing". In our culture this is much appreciated and encouraged. It shows respect to families of the couples and could greatly lead to a united community.

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January 26th, 2011 - William-551581 said:

It's appropriate, but not needed - I asked for permission before proposing and both her mom and dad said, "no." I did so anyways because I try to keep true to myself and whoever I'm dating, that I'm a man of my word and we were only engaged for a month and a half before her parents found out and "forced" her to mail the engagement ring back to me. I got the ring back in the mail 2 days after Valentine's Day with a 5 page letter of how bad a person I am. It's rediculous.

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January 24th, 2011 - Jonathan-100011 said:

I was talking about this recently with my parents who are in their 70s, and they claimed to have never heard of doing such a thing. I'm getting the feeling this is older than old-fashioned.

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January 18th, 2011 - Joseph-675792 said:

Respecting the past and family bonds is an admirable quality also showing respect for a cultures standards can only lead to positives in ones life.

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January 16th, 2011 - Raymond-608939 said:

Depends; if the couple is young, then asking permission from the father of the girl is appropriate.

Ive never heard of anyone asking permission, from their girlfriend, before popping the question.

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January 11th, 2011 - Monica-604803 said:

When I was younger I would have said it was a must. Now that I am older and have been living on my own for quite some time, I can't imagine having to ask my father's permission to get married. I have a close relationship to my father and value his opinions. Leading up to an engagement his opinions would not be a secret because we talk about everything, therefore seeking his permission just would not be necessary.

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January 8th, 2011 - Nicholas-209319 said:

It is usually appropriate. However, there are circumstances in which your fiance has much better judgement than her parents, she has a non-existent relationship with her parents, or a number of other reasons. Therefore, it is preferable, and if you can, you should; but there are exceptions.

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January 4th, 2011 - Brett-658095 said:

Well when I asked the ex-wife to marry me I did not tell the parents first. They were mad that I didn't. They were more old fashioned than I was brought up. Her mom was mad but I don't think it bothered her Dad. But in retrospect I think it is a good thing to do. I would inform with the opportunity for them to give opinion. But I don't really think you should ask for permission. That cuts the daughter out having a say in the ordeal. My ex never had a problem with it. Most people I know didn't ask first.

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January 3rd, 2011 - Karin-439015 said:

I think it is a sweet thing to do. ;)

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January 2nd, 2011 - Lucy-661045 said:

From a ladys point of view (me) I think it is a lovely way of showing the lady and father (very important) that he is serious about the marriage and also it sets a good precedence for himself within his new family. It shows that he is serious and wants to make that commitment. A lovely gesture.

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January 2nd, 2011 - John-631631 said:

I think it is absolutely appropriate. It shows the family that you are a True Gentleman. Keep Chivalry alive! The family will gain a new respect for you. It also lets the Family know of your intentions. You can't go wrong asking permission. CHIVALRY LIVES!

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January 1st, 2011 - Paul-91858 said:

This question needs to be more specific. Asking permission of who? It is implied that it is of the parents but it doesn't explicitly say that. It should say "Asking permission from the parents before proposing is ....? It that is the question, I think it is appropriate. It sends the message that there will be something significant occurring in the familial relationship in the future and shows a sign of respect to the parents of their child that they brought into this world. I think the comments about asking the kids for permission is going a bit too far. It gives a child some power over an adult that they otherwise would not have. Would you ask a child permission to discipline them??? Would you ask them if you should drink alcohol? Let the kids be kids and not give them a power that should be exercised by adults. It is treating kids as adults which in my view is inappropriate. Yes kids will be impacted by the decision and will have opinions on it but to give them veto power over an adult decision is conveying to them far more authority than they deserve to have.

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January 1st, 2011 - Marie-64577 said:

If the lady has a child...age old enough to have some thoughts on the matter, 10 ish. What about asking the children?

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December 31st, 2010 - MaryBeth-382377 said:

I am widowed. It really touched me to see how my husband was a bit nervous asking my father. I could see the seriousness he realized it was to enter into marriage. He really wanted to be proud to be my husband and for my father to be delighted, which he was. RIP dear husband and father. I hope to meet another good man someday.

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December 29th, 2010 - Robert-662861 said:

Sorry, I think it depends on the relationship the lady has with her family. If they don't get along then its futile.

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December 29th, 2010 - Fara-657982 said:

Its definately appropriate to ask permission before proposing. You want to be on the same page and be able to plan a surprise proposal plus feel confident in knowing your gonna get the right response.

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December 28th, 2010 - Annmarie-99121 said:

It's the right thing to do to honor the family you will be married too!

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December 28th, 2010 - Carlos-627715 said:

It is the right thing to do

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December 27th, 2010 - Yvonne-616339 said:

It's appropriate and formal, showing respect to your bride to be, and her family which is your coming family in the near future. It is one way of knowing them and starting to get close to them. Parent's approval is very important even if you and your girlfriend are already in the right age. You could also have their blessings.

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December 27th, 2010 - Richard-452731 said:

December 27th, 2010 Richard (Rick) - 452731 ID# Richard - 452731 (for picture?)

At 59 years of age, I believe asking for your bride to be's hand to her remaining family whether it be sisters and brother or her children is absolutely a must. Let's face it you're going to be part of the whole family picture. You need to be okay to them. If your sincere, caring, and loving. you have nothing to worry about.

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December 26th, 2010 - Cathie-627585 said:

I believe that it is absolutely appropriate if you have never been married before and are young. I don't believe however that anyone that is over 40 or has been married before that it is necessary. It can and should be done as a courtesy if the situation warrants that kind of familial approval.

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December 26th, 2010 - Clark-255461 said:

Although I'm about as old fashioned as a guy could be these days..this is one few traditions where I scratch my head and wonder. I mean, if she's out of college, has been living on her own for a decade...the thought of asking her father is a bit odd. Almost like we are pretending women do not leave home after high school, or are not really independent after they become adults. If she needs the permission...who am I marrying?..her or her parents? Seems a bit try-hard to reverse engineer an era of chivalry that simply cannot exist today. Asking permission from anyone other than the bride..means the bride does not have the authority to decide with whom she desires to share her life.

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December 26th, 2010 - Robert-653432 said:

This answer for me was between absolutely appropriate and old fashioned. I believe that women today should demand this, however, chivalry should also be demanded. The death of chivalry is because a lot of women don't demand iit OR after dating a while they get complacent and let the men forget about it. I tell my ten year old daughter to stop and wait until the door is opened, the seat is pulled, and so on. So go for it ladies, wait for them to drive on with the chivalry. It is clearly a respectful practice for your gender.

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December 25th, 2010 - Janeth-653752 said:

My parents are the wings and roots of my personhood and everything is in the open air... it would be a privilege if my man will ask their permission before proposing.... even though i already know what's gonna be their response ^_^..

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December 25th, 2010 - Mike-639276 said:

I'm not asking to marry her parents!

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December 22nd, 2010 - Theresa-110510 said:

Megan makes a good point in defence of the tradition; for different reasons than those of 'ownership passing from one man to another'; which is the reason it was used for. At least thereby giving good reason to show why she approves of it.

Myself, I suppose it's because I'm independent and run my own life; but I find it a turn off. Would a potential realtor for my parents call me up to ask my permission before selling the house I grew up in? Not likely and I know my parents would be annoyed if they thought their children's approval was required before they could sell.

This was required - back centuries ago - but I'll bet the women of the days it applied to would 100 x prefer to be financially independent and to make marital decisions solely on their love for the man, rather than their father's approval of his finances and dowry he could pay for her - making her feel no different than a child and property to both.

If this is all a man can do to show his respect for a woman's parents, he probably doesn't have much of it. Don't kid yourself, women. There are other ways to show it without the side effect of making the love of his life feel like chattel - if he can't show other ways he respects parents he likely doesn't have any or much for them; and at that stage of your relationship, you'll know if he's good to them and a catch or not.

Like I say - turn off! Any guy who knows me a few dates should be able to put that together - I believe women have the right to vote and to hold jobs too! I find Elizabeth Bennet a true kindred spirit. I also want to know that he's not so old-fashioned that our marriage will be like that of the 1800's.

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December 21st, 2010 - Sonya-261658 said:

That is an awesome thing to do as a part of courtship on the way towards marriage.

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December 21st, 2010 - Beth-583369 said:

My dad didn't ask my grandfather, which caused a bit of a scandal. But I second Marissa. If my significant other came and asked my father for my hand, he'd probably say, "Why don't you talk to Beth?" I know my dad will voice his concerns with me, so if he was truly concerned about the relationship and didn't think we should get married he would have brought it up long before a proposal.

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December 20th, 2010 - Theresa-51103 said:

At this point in my life since both of my parents are deceased, there is no one to ask.

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December 20th, 2010 - America-312924 said:

It wasn't necessarly "asking for persmission" as it was an announcement.....and that was one of the most memorable moment in my life when my parents were elated with the news!! --each in their own way. But nonetheless, it just comes from respect and honor for the parents.

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December 19th, 2010 - Debra-75553 said:

Asking first is a nice way for the soon to be son-in-law to show some decency and respect. It's a point in time that the guys will always remember...given that weddings are usually such a chick thing! Give the men their due...don't strip them of their masculenity

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December 17th, 2010 - Roseanne-557920 said:

I think it's a bit old fashioned, ... back when girls went from home with mom and dad to home with hubby.... requesting permission was absolutely necessary... if you wanted to stay alive, you know. It was more of a request to free the woman from the father's grasp.... like guardian grasp...

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December 17th, 2010 - Maria-304891 said:

Perhaps the more interesting question to ask is, whether or not you would marry someone your parents would not approve of or give their blessing to?

That being said, I think it is appropriate to ask for permission. Not only is it a sign of respect towards the man's potential in-laws, but it sends a loving message to the woman that he is embracing the responsibility of caring of her, a role previously carried out by the parents. I guess it is about as "necessary" as buying a diamond ring or getting down on one knee. There can still be a successful engagement without either, but they sure add to the experience. And it still depends on preference. :)

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December 17th, 2010 - Tim-145391 said:

I think it's inappropriate. A woman's father does not possess her, and therefore this tradition has no place in the relationship between a man and a woman. I also object to a father walking his daughter down the isle for the same reason. One of my favorite weddings had the bride walk herself half-way down the isle and the groom meet her half way. They completed the walk to the altar together, hand-in-hand. I appreciated the symbolism.

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December 16th, 2010 - Abbey-104305 said:

My mother couldn't keep a secret and therefore my whole family and all of her friends would know that I was getting engaged before I did. I truly want to be the first person to know that my future husband and I have committed to each other. And, I have no intention of marrying anyone that I know my parents would not give me permission to marry.

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December 16th, 2010 - Sandra-222626 said:

I think it would be beyond nice if my fiance asked my Dad formally for my hand even at this moment in my life!

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December 16th, 2010 - Jacqueline-198 said:

I think it's very sweet and very respectful, I"ve always said, no matter how old I am I'd love my fiance to be will ask for my hand.

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December 16th, 2010 - Linda-629540 said:

I am not fortunate to have living parents. In my younger years I think that would have been completely appropriate and a sign of respect for both my parents and me. Now, however, perhaps a chat - not requesting permission - with my adult children would be appreciated by them but not required.

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December 16th, 2010 - William-505707 said:

I think that most women would like to feel that they are treasured and that if a man really loves the woman he is courting, then he will step up and ask her folks, before he askes her to marry him.

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December 15th, 2010 - Lisa-639883 said:

Sweet idea but for me unneccessary. I've been on my own for a long time now and can make my own decisions. Perhaps with younger people and if you know that your intended prefers this. For some people, leaving the parents out is a big no-no. Maybe I would feel differently if I were younger (I'm 31).

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December 15th, 2010 - Gabrielle-621722 said:

It's a nice idea and sweet but I think most women would prefer their parents not know before hand.

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December 15th, 2010 - Jesse-463958 said:

I talked to my ex gf's parents about marrying there daughter at her age of 26. Then they talked to me about leaving the catholic church for Calvary chapel. Ehhh no thank you. didn't work out.

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