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May 14th, 2014 - Mary-981059 said:

The lack of a strong conviction about the Catholic Faith. The lack of maturity on the part of both individuals. The lack of persistence, patience, and perseverance to make the relationship to work. The lack of knowledge of the difference between right and wrong. The lack of piety. The lack of humility. The lack of a solid family background when it comes to morality and principles: my parents were divorced, it is alright for me to divorce too. Short summary: the lack of love of God, and fear of the Lord. Life is difficult, but it is worth to work hard at living it up with decency, with morality, with principles, with dignity, and all of this can be obtained by being immersed in the Catholic teachings. Life is not a bed of roses, and if we find roses, those roses have thorns and we need to be careful.

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May 4th, 2014 - Cheryl-1159 said:

I think infidelity is the biggest factor. A relationship seems to be lacking or needs excitement so the solution seems to be to find another source. I think this really speaks to how people are before they get married and the lifestyles they lead. If you are used to having multiple partners before you are married and don't practice self control or narrowing down to one person then you are learning a behavior or habit that may be hard to turn off later.

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April 25th, 2014 - John-879088 said:

I had no idea that I was marrying someone that based upon the fact that she was a fellow graduate student in my engineering program that was supposed to have a BSEE electrical engineering degree from the Peoples Republic of China, that our large State University had checked all of her credentials and I believed that she was divorced from a forced marriage in a communist country. It turned out that she never received a divorce and was married at the time of our fraudulent marriage. Nowmy annulment is in Limbo, because there are differing opinions as to whether we were actually married. We had a daughter whom I raised 90% and the CPS best interest lawyer proved physical and severe mental abuse on the part of the mother and my adopted daughter that I brought over from China. I believed that she would culturally adjust and tried my best. She even went to RCIA and put on a front as a Catholic and fooled early everyone including myself. I found over 200emails from her actual husband with my so-called spouse and his daughter. I found that she knew nothing of basic electronics and that the BSEE was also a lie. It has been 4 yrs. since the divorce and after $70,000,I have no more cash to fight it out in court and still do not actually know if there is actually an existing marriage. It has affected various friendships and I have seen no females for relationships in that four year time period and have led a chaste life for the past 16 years though her affairs started ,I now have found out even during our engagement. It seems to me that this is quite common with Red China and know 4other professionals that were married to her friends and that they were divorced with great monetary loss and all play the same game as is being perpetuated in my case. The only miracle that came from all of this ismy16 yr. old daughter who is a devout Catholic and is becoming aware of the facts that the sins are not ours. We have a caseworker at Senator John McCain's U.S. Senate Office who continually collects fraudulent evidence and they admit

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April 6th, 2014 - Maria-732002 said:

Everything has an effect especially communication.

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March 31st, 2014 - Edel-72251 said:

As a NFP teacher and catechist I believe contraception and materialism ( distractive worldly allures) and not receiving the sacraments with a reverent disposition results in stunted personal growth and communication.

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March 31st, 2014 - Edel-72251 said:

As a NFP teacher and catechist I believe contraception and materialism ( distractive worldly allures) and not receiving the sacraments with a reverent disposition results in stunted personal growth and communication.

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January 26th, 2014 - Sofia-1021635 said:

Lack of communication. Forgiveness and not accepting the person the way they are and trying to change them. A good marriage is a questions of luck and growing in the same direction and finding the right person. They both have to believe in God, whether they are christians or catholic christians. Need to talk to each other as soon as there is a problem. Luck of trust is another way of destroying a relationship. Mainly forgiving each other all the time, being patient and understanding.

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October 26th, 2013 - Luara-1021251 said:

When both parties discovered lately that they are not compatible in many things because of many reasons, and I believe that some working couples are both busy and they sometimes forget to pray and have time together as couples. Some might forget that there are lots of challenges in marriage and these stages are crucial. The couples should face it toggether in God's grace. The main reason is, it is being legalized.

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October 21st, 2013 - Anayo-918761 said:

1) society; western society has the highest rate just cos the society encourages it while in africa it's seen as abormination which makes it very difficult and remains the final way of resolving problems b/w couples.

2) unforgiven spirit.

3)selfishness.

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September 6th, 2013 - Joe-979925 said:

#1 reason - communication. It requires listening - that's why God gave us twice as many ears as we have mouths. If people put as much effort IN to a marriage as it takes to get OUT of a marriage , we would have less divorces.

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August 27th, 2013 - Michelle-989480 said:

I think if people were following the Word Of God there would not be civil divorce because active believers and followers would work with their spouse and find a way with God's divine assistance to overcome the difficult issues ----- and they would do it in God's own time. Therefore, I think the biggest reason for civil divorce is not living the doctrine of our Catholic faith in our daily lives.

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July 12th, 2013 - Fran-985937 said:

Lack of communication

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June 16th, 2013 - John-980223 said:

SIN !!!

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May 30th, 2013 - Christine-976614 said:

Lack of praying together!!!

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May 8th, 2013 - FloviaOlivia-879285 said:

lack of commitment

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April 16th, 2013 - Jacques-961161 said:

I know infidelity is the main reason, and that infidelity stems from individualism. Some people do not belong in marriage, because they cannot commit. They cannot commit because once that commitment starts being a "burden" to them, then they want out. They are married, yet they are still "looking".

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April 6th, 2013 - George-816506 said:

forgiving love that is able to renew bonds made at the altar. we all fall short of perfection, God forgives us thousands of times, but why can't those who have committed to marriage forgive and help the other half grow instead of leave and "move on" the grass is never greener than the grass that stays at home to form a beautiful lawn..even with weeds...they will soon be overgrown with lush lawn if we fertilize with commitment and with loving forgiveness!

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March 8th, 2013 - Justin-949667 said:

Lack of commitment, people have lost alot purpose, appreciation and meaning of love.

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March 7th, 2013 - Fallas-559221 said:

Its a combination: Lack of commitment, but an irrevocable commitment (the essence of this sacrament), lack of communication ( the bridge between the couple), and lack of prayer ( the presence of God in the marriage).

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February 13th, 2013 - Joan-529855 said:

For those that said, "pornography" (and/or other addictions) you hit the button, however I believe those would fall under lack of committment because if someone is suffering from an addiction their priorities are scewed and they are no longer committment to the marriage. Also, for those that said their spouse told them "they were no longer attracted to them" I can promise you they are looking at pornography and have a distorted image of "true beauty".

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February 13th, 2013 - Joan-529855 said:

Lack of committment is clearly "no. 1" when it comes to the biggest reason for divorce. Infidelity is obviously "no.. 2" but lack of committment occurs before infidelity. Without committment, infidelity will eventually occur; some marriages end in divorce because of lack of committment before the infidelity occurs. People today have a greater sense of entitlement and less of a sense of committment than in the past, therefore things like infidelity are a natural result. All I can say is PRAY, PRAY, PRAY for the future because it doesn't look good.

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February 13th, 2013 - Eleanor-944041 said:

Infidelty, lack of trust

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February 7th, 2013 - Rebecca-767861 said:

finances, infidelity as well as discipline w/ children, over all commitment levels were just way off....

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January 31st, 2013 - Donna-891798 said:

Lack of commitment, religion and finances (no particular order) -- my ex pulled away from our marriage 10 years ago -- I finally had the guts to say enough is enough. His biggest issue was that he was no longer attracted to me and I guess (thinking back) I suffered emotional abuse. I was willing to try but he gave up way before I did --- seems strange that he was already going away for the weekend with a "friend" a week after I moved out. So be it ----

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January 31st, 2013 - Maria-930320 said:

wonder where these rank:

substance abuse

domestic abuse

essentially like infidelity as these are powerful and take away from the relationship

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January 24th, 2013 - Kathy-730470 said:

Lack of commitment for sure.

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December 9th, 2012 - Meg-920823 said:

Lack of commitment encompasses most of the other categories. Commitment to the Sacrament and to what God has joined is imperative.

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December 4th, 2012 - Jim-826315 said:

In a Catholic poll, I would expect to see pornography and contraception as choices. For me, it would be a close call between infidelity, contraception and lack of commitment.

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December 2nd, 2012 - Cindy-754558 said:

I used to think it was finances until I heard a marriage psychologist speak - it is the problems brought from prior to marriage/childhood that were neve fixed/taken care of.

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November 15th, 2012 - Carolyn-900456 said:

It seems to run in certain families. If at all possible check in the family history for mental problems or abusive problems or alchohol problems or what ever else problems. I like the temperment test given on Catholic Match. Helps to see if we are compatible. Everyone should take the premarrital testing for compatibility. Wait for atleast 1 year before making a permanent commitment to get to know the family you will be marrying into. You don't just marry the person but the family as well.

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November 11th, 2012 - Andrea-877160 said:

Pornography - it's the silent killer of marriage.

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October 18th, 2012 - Jacinta-80503 said:

Not having God as the Centre of our marriage. No commitment. Lack of respect, dishonesty and abusive mentally and physically.

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October 5th, 2012 - Daniel-903533 said:

And for those that think it is about commitment, one side can be committed and the other not. I don't think divorce is as simple as a multiple choice. Mine wasn't even close to the ones listed.

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October 5th, 2012 - Daniel-903533 said:

Sandra: I had a similar problem. I don't think it matters what state you live in, but you need to get some kind of parenting time with your son. I had 2 step-daughters that were snatched away, I had no legal right. Biological children are different, you have the right to see your children! All the cards, emails, and gifts are very important. I would contact a good attorney and get your options. I know they are expensive but I've found that most family attorneys are empathetic to parents not getting time with the children. A lot of times they will help with the $ or point you to organizations that can help. You may be able to get help from a charitable organization or the church. I spent all of my money, savings and borrowed from friends and family just to get regular parenting time. Not boasting here but, I am a great dad and love my 2 biological daughters that I fought for, it was about 6 months. I had to hire an attorney to represent them too. I made it thru and no one can get between my daughters and me anymore. Got to pray too, and trust in God, I promise you, HE'S THERE WITH YOU!

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October 5th, 2012 - Daniel-903533 said:

Psychological disorders cause by our "liberated" society. Misguided guilt for what society say is ok. Objective sin has guilt and consequences too. It destroys the mind's ability to reason in a logical way. This destroys families, then society. We all need to examine and inform our consciences more often. The Church has the answers, we just need to except them. (not saying anyone is guilty here, just my general rule)

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October 3rd, 2012 - Mary-879254 said:

I never thought I would be divorced. The sad part is my grandchild has no examples in her life of a good marriage. Is commitment a thing of the past.

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September 30th, 2012 - Guadalupe-873127 said:

Divorced but not my choice. Infidelity on his part caused a rift, but I was willing to forgive and repair the marriage. He wanted the young one which wasn't me.

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September 6th, 2012 - Laura-857740 said:

Infidelity. It is only the fault of the person who commits it.

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August 22nd, 2012 - Terry-889149 said:

I also believe not having God in the relationship is vital. My ex converted from a Lutheran. But as the years went on, she slowly drew me away from the church for "funner" things. Near the end of the marriage, I found my faith again. She found someone 15 years younger than her. The sad thing is, she picked up and left our two children to live with him two states away and only sees them once a month for a couple of hours.

There has to be a grounding point. If your don't have the same beliefs, then you're doomed to fail. Love is a combination of all the feelings you have.

As for you Sandra, the only thing I can say is you must keep an open relationship with your son. Call, write. Do whatever you have to. Most importantly, you have to talk to your ex, yes communicate and let him know that you're not interested in his life (forgive him) and remind him that your son needs you, no matter what the terms are. Always keep an open line of communication.

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August 18th, 2012 - Sandra-384576 said:

Communication and Trust are the top key factors. This is based on my parents divorcing after 20 years of marriage!!! Also, I am speaking from experience after 2 failed marriages. Both my ex-husbands were work-a-holics!!! My last one was just plus an alcoholic. I annulled the first marriage due to adultery on his part which he later married her, had 4 children with her and has now divorced her!!!! My second husband was married twice but he treated me like his queen and I loved it!!! We have a son, 14 years old, which whom I raised by myself...we celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary back 8-10-2006 which he bought me a beautiful diamond ring, took me to dinner, and went dancing!!! Here is the real kicker...I was served with divorce papers on that following Monday, I was crushed. He divorced me and re-married his previous wife that cheated on him!!!! He also brain washed my son to go and live with him. I live close by to them and my son won't come over to see me. Any ideas on what to do? I haven't seen my son since June of 2011.

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July 11th, 2012 - Mireya-874269 said:

Infidelity

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July 3rd, 2012 - Patricia-706626 said:

Infidelity

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June 24th, 2012 - John-711475 said:

lack of communication give and take was onesided, finanical, not working as a team views on religon not the same

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June 24th, 2012 - Maria-633146 said:

Lack of communication and self gratification. It is essential to have God as the third person in any marriage, Being grounded in the faith does make it easier to go through the rough and tumble of life.

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April 9th, 2012 - Chris-480081 said:

In todays world of disposable everything, people look at marriage in the same way. Why work at something when you can just throw it out and get another one. We no longer work at relationships, communications is the key to a successful marriage.

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April 7th, 2012 - Joseph-677992 said:

Yeah! Communication is key.

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April 2nd, 2012 - Gabriela-421689 said:

I voted lack of commitment but I would have voted for lack of communication!

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April 1st, 2012 - Daniel-381050 said:

This poll is difficukt to take because infidelity is a symptom of poor inner strength and faith as well as lack of commitment. They are all internal factors working together. Incidentally, the other 3 choices are external factors (finances, politics, and children)

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