May 15th, 2013 - Theresa-110510 said:
Bob says 'it is the responsibility of the laity to initiate apostolates where they see the need.' Bob, have you tried getting something going in your parish or diocese, or in joining something that currently appears to be working and helping to grow it to reach more parishes? Well, I have done all three; and you would not believe the opposition you run into from priests who don't seem to want singles events in their parishes; are not at all concerned if their parishes have ways for their members to meet. If a marriage doesn't work they'll just hand 'em an annulment! They are not getting that the point is for their members to feel like they too are part of the church community; and to know people who also share their beliefs that they can be friends with, possibly meet partners to date and marry: to grow in their faith.
How wonderful would it be to meet the love of your life while at a social justice event sponsored by others with your group, or while you were on a missionary trip? I know of someone who met her husband while doing missionary work out of country - what a great story. (They are both Protestant.) You know when you meet someone in this way that they are a quality Christian.
But no - these groups need to be run by the church. To keep them ongoing, and so that they take the responsibility of overseeing any stalkers or creeps in the groups are removed from it (which unfortunately is an issue our church singles groups have.) The only reason I believe we have this and Protestant churches don't is because we don't have faith formation throughout our lives while they do; and many going to Mass Sunday's do it to fulfill their obligations only; and don't know how to live their lives as Catholics once they go out on their own into the world (to work, etc.) Due to lack of youth groups when even younger, there are those with poor social skills as well. And many don't bring values any different than had you met someone in a secular way to the table - so the spiritual presence is essential or you c
May 14th, 2013 - Elissa-829089 said:
I guess Social Justice Ministry translates to doing works of service with other parish members. I think this would be a great way to meet people and accomplish something for the Church at the same time; better than socializing and feeling desperate, especially as one gets older...!
May 13th, 2013 - Tara-971985 said:
For me it's Social Justice Ministry.. those who are in a spot of trouble in their life and need some help and support so they can get back on their feet. Whether that be volunteering at a homeless shelter or soup kitchen, crisis shelters, etc. As Christians I feel faith through service whenever possible is important. But we all have different talents and things we enjoy doing, or more importantly feel called to do.
May 10th, 2013 - Andrew-290721 said:
Non of the above-- we need to raise the general level of holiness. Then it will be easier for single Catholics to find like-minded single Catholics they can marry, thereby reducing the number of single Catholics temporarily, until the ones who married have children. But as long as we increase the level of holiness, this is not a problem, numerically speaking.
April 22nd, 2013 - MaryJo-961291 said:
I believe that grouping singles as anyone not religious and unmarried is a problem. For there are many people looking for direction or just conversations. I believe that there is a wide area of non-teaching not addressed by the church. I went to catholic education thru my sophmore year in college. I may have more schooling with the faith by when I asked about what to do next (I'm divorced) I was told "become a nun". I'm sorry I chose a differet path many years ago. So I have feelings of being alone and dissollusioned, because about the only thing you heard about was the amount of money needed by one parish or another; it was the topic picked by most priests on Sunday's, instead about talking about today in our world, giving the impression that your money donations was the only reason for the gathering. Singles are not the only ones leaving for that reason. Teaching is a constant for all in the church. Giving each group a forum to learn is primary.
April 14th, 2013 - Patrick-955401 said:
Personally, I don't think it has anything to do with ministry; it has to do with the culture. And the culture steals the minds and hearts of children by the time they're 12 or 13. Unless parents have strong and meaningful relationships with their children, the culture (internet, media, social conditioning), programs the kids to think that being an adult is about sex, materialism, and image. Chris Hedges wrote a brilliant, if disturbing, book on this phenomenon called, "The Empire of Illusion and the Death of Literacy." He writes cogently on how social communication is based on creating spectacles and emotional reactions to things, instead of grounded, reasonable, and truthful responses to issues, communications, and relationships. It is a picture of a hedonistic, ego driven, culture. By the time 'ministry' gets there, it's too late. Family, strong families, is the answer. Single Catholics are merely a symptom of a culture that is lost in illusion. Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life and outside of this truth, it is all illusion.
April 12th, 2013 - Spiridione-887213 said:
A lot of people complain here that they are single just like me so I join catholic match. I find that alot of the
people on here dont respond back meaning they dont pay to be on this site or dont seem to want to at least get to know me. When i try to make contact and when they do respond I feel that they are searching for someone but asking for alot in a person. So they have high standards and this makes me feel like i'm not good enough. So the next time someone is trying to make contact with you please give it a chance dont just say no right away because you never know and please lower your standards because you are not perfect either
April 10th, 2013 - Victoria-907952 said:
I find the Catholic Church doesn't address Catholics in their 50's who have never married. You are either considered divorced, widowed, or seperated. It seems to be assumed that anyone who hasn't married yet is in their 20's or 30's...referencing them as Young Adults. I hear and read so much about single Catholics marrying for the soul reason of raising a family. What if you are older and no longer able to have children, I get the impression I should stay single and not marry. Is it wrong to have companionship and partnership in marriage without children? I feel like a lost soul searching for a relationship that may be unattainable in my Faith because they don't address my needs.
April 8th, 2013 - Jacques-961161 said:
There is a bible passage that says that near the end of days, "People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3 without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, 4 treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God 5 having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people." I think we are right on top of that time. I believe a huge number of people nowadays are looking out only for themselves, and since relationships in general involve a lot of give and take, marriage cannot possibly survive that kind of environment. A lot of men, and increasingly a lot of women, do not consider marriage as a commitment anymore. Once they start feeling a little bit "inconvenienced" by the marriage they immediately want out.
Hopefully there are still some good women left out there and hopefully, I will find one.
March 21st, 2013 - Michael-780154 said:
In my area (Tampa), there is but one vibrant Young Adults group. It is small, and there are few available ladies for the guys. After attending a few times, I no longer attend after having another fellow essentially ask a young lady, to whom I was presently engaged in conversation, for a date. I'm not annulled and not dating, so there's no harm done, but this conduct was rude and inconsiderate and made me feel unwelcome.
We as a Church need to be honest about priorities when it comes to the concerns of single Catholics. The development and practice of faith is top priority, but the Church seems to ignore singles/annulled Catholics and does not place a priority on helping us find life's mates with whom we can build a family within the safety of our Church. In many places, even large cities, there are few Catholics suitable for marriage and it is exceedingly difficult to find them. Young people of marrying age seem absent from the Church. We are ignored. The church should celebrate the fact that some of us single Catholics are faithful to her and wish to build families with our Catholic faith at the center. There should be church activities for singles of all ages and annulled/looking people in our mid 30s to mid 40s and up. The church celebrates life, but there seems a fundamental lack of inclusion if you're single/annulled. This may be different up north where Catholicism is more prevalent, but these are my observations here in the Tampa area.
March 18th, 2013 - Mark-943459 said:
Having parish forums for Catholics of any age who are interested in finding their soul mate. It should be led by a lay persen, man or woman, who will lead the discusion but not dominate it. People of all ages are hungry to meet each other in a friendly social setting with non alcoholic beverages available. The participants should come to the forum armed with pen and paper to jot down the names and phone numbers of people thay are interested in dating.
March 17th, 2013 - Michele-484861 said:
I have lived all over the country, in Canada and also in Germany. Most parishes I have joined focus mostly on families. While I understand the emphasis on the family unit, it would be wonderful to have a local parish help single adult Catholics be more instrumentation in finding someone of their same faith to share a life with. I give them credit for widowed/divorced groups, single parent groups, but I don't fit into any of those categoreis. I have joined choirs, sponsored a few new people into the Church, and volunteered and participated in church functions, but still feel like an outsider. I agree, helping all age groups feel more a part of the community would only help make the community stronger.
March 16th, 2013 - Cheryl-900360 said:
Its almost as if the singles over 40 are non existing..especially if they are single parents. I would love to see the parish concentrate a little on that age group. As I have witnessed, it is no wonder they're losing that group to other religions! It is sad..:-(
March 9th, 2013 - John-879088 said:
I believe that Justin is the nearest to 'The Path', not equal rights, divisions, priest's sex lives(how ridiculous to speculate on an individual that has chosen the vocation), trying to emulate perverted Hollywood producers who tell us how a man and woman are defined(you all know what I am saying). Read what Justin says on 'The Instruction Manual' with the Reason & Purpose and what our Creator wants.(for us to love each other which is our payment to him). As opposed to protestantism's pre-destination, we were given 'Free Will' and that is the key to anti-Catholic attacks. The focus is on the man & woman as the central unit of each familyAnother problem that I see within my diocese is the ignorance of Freemasonry which is promoted within our organizations, when the Catholic Catechism states excommuication to Catholic membes. Please read Justin's begining thesis which starts in Genesis 1 & 2 and the footnotes explaining the Hebrew translations.
March 8th, 2013 - Halyna-940494 said:
There is nothing for singles in my small eastern catholic parish. I would have to look at the RC churches in town and I honestly don't think they have that much going on either. Small cities are tough. I help with the Church Festival, Bake Sale and participate in other functions when I can.
March 6th, 2013 - Justin-949667 said:
People are losing their purpose and appreciation. Tje teachings of what live and a relationship are being stripped. Life ia becoming man vs woman. To which is funny because in truth that isnot gods will. In general men and women compliment eachothers weak points to be stronger together, but these teaching are being lost. And even in race and gender people seem to only seek superiority. That in turn just leads to division or destruction. Statistically this is very evident in society. High divorce rates, high abortion, high drug use. Love is mainstreamed and based soley on sex and pleasure, and that isn't true. I have done alot of writing on these subjects, because people are complaining of what is happening and have no amswers. People are seeking what to believe in. Stuck with the confliction of what is life, what is it's purpose. Me I just always say their is a book about everything it is called the bible. It is an instruction manual, a repair manual and as well as a warning. To follow the bible correctly gives life and self purpose with a rewarding fullfilled life. People have just let life get to complex and confusing, in turn people are literally overlooking the answers that lay right in front of them.
March 5th, 2013 - Katelyn-435876 said:
I find, where I'm located, there are opportunities for all ages in my church except young singles. I've graduated college and had to move in with my family to save money, but I feel like there is no place for me at my church. There's things for older singles, a youth ministry for high school and younger, and things for mothers. I just feel ostracized. :( I feel like young professionals are kind of left out of the church. At least where I am. Anyone else feel this way?
March 5th, 2013 - Theresa-110510 said:
The church needs deacons to address the issues dealing with ministering to catholics living the faith; leaving priests to deal with the sacraments only. It's high time that instead of focusing of priest's sex lives (getting to marry); that they focus on the laities' - those catholics who HAVE NOT taken vows of celibacy. Priests can't talk about sex, birth control, etc. and nobody feels comfortable talking to them about it. They don't have time for any members post 13 yrs of age. I know I'd have been married in my 20's no question had i left for a Protestant denomination of some sort where I could commune with other Christians; rather than not knowing any living as a Catholic - and I am one who has been very involved in her church/diocesan activities. I have not found Catholics to be good Christians; like I said, I'd have left ages ago had I not been Irish. This church doesn't care if people fall away and live bad lives - though it's out of their lack of shepherding them - we have to care for our souls bottom line! If this church is no longer following Christ's teachings and instruction on shepherding to his disciples that it is no longer the church that He said 'He would be with to the end of time.' So long as a Christian church remains His promise does. Christ started the Christian church; and had we been the salt and light we were meant to be - all Protestants would have come back centuries ago. We need as His followers to recognize a church that is of Him and one that is not.
I'll go to Mass but that's it. In order to keep my faith I've found I have to stay away from Catholic activities due to what I have had to deal with and am in proess of finding a Protestant church in my area with beliefs closest to ours where I can meet true Christians. My goodness - if friends of mine who aren't Christian at all recognize the need that my church should have social activities so we can meet each other, since our beliefs are so unique to make it impossible meeting people in our day to day lives that should
March 4th, 2013 - Jan-803232 said:
Singles over 40 are the greatest most under-utilized resource of the Catholic Church. Frequently, they are not addressed at all from the pulpit and included in homilies; we are not given a second thought. It's as if we didn't exist. There appears to be only two vocations recognized by our church: marriage (and young people looking to get married) and the religious life. If Catholics can be annulled to remarry, why are they not recognized as a powerful resource for the Church?
February 25th, 2013 - Gary-936836 said:
I think the Young Adult Ministry should consider this a major priority, much in the spirit of Michael's comments below on how Mormons do things institutionally. Now, I think common sense would dictate that since there are plenty of older single Catholics, that that ministry would not be the ONLY one to address the problem of single Catholics being "alone together" though in communion with one another. Still, this would be a focal point in helping to ensure that there will not be a continued pandemic of older marriage-vocated Catholics who are not in their vocation, which will at least help break the cycle.
February 25th, 2013 - Katie-934315 said:
I don't think it is the youth that needed to be targeted, they have enough to worry about without the pressure to find true love. I think we need more gatherings of Catholic singles. I see events here all the time but none in my area. I would love it if local churches would hold singles' nights.
February 24th, 2013 - Miles-814 said:
I have 21 years of experience with Young Adult ministry. YAM can help. But, people are getting to their young adult years extremely lacking integral formation and humility. Judgmentalism is rampant. We have control, fear, and anger issues. In short, we are an abusive and selfish culture. For that to be overturned, we need to be preparing for marriage form the time we are in elementary school. Youth ministry might already be too late.
February 23rd, 2013 - Michael-937077 said:
I don't think these options really best address the problem. Ministries are not - and shouldn't be - means to find love and marriage. Sure, can you meet your future spouse through ministries? Yes, but that should only be a side effect. I think Catholics can take something of a lesson from the Mormons. Their theology aside, they understand the importance of family and marrying other Mormons as part of family unity, so they put institutional focus on helping their single members meet and mingle. Why can't we do the same? And as a side note, doing so may be a good means to increasing their exposure and involvement in a broader category as a whole.
February 21st, 2013 - Jillian-816951 said:
I don't feel any of these areas really address single Catholics. I feel there needs to be singles groups for all ages. Not just have Young Adult groups which stop when you turn forty and groups for the seniors fifty and up. What about the single people in their forties!
February 20th, 2013 - Kurby-934377 said:
What is a social justice ministry? And how does that relate to the growing number of single catholics (lower case C intended). The truth is that it should be handled by "Good Catholic Parents" making sure and clear that the Catholic life is the One their children will find the greatest happiness in. It starts with reeducating oneself in the Catholic faith, Reading the Bible and joining Bible study groups because "Ignorance of the scriptures is ignorance of Christ" (St.Jerome). Then start reading scripture to your children before they go to bed. They'll never forget it. Families were the mother is the religious force have a 30% (maybe a tad less) chance of those children remaining in the faith. Fathers as that force, 74% retention. So, we can either hand over our children to a committee of good intentioned "I think I know the faith" individuals who have failed in the past, or we can start by living the faith at home. Men be good example of a Christian Man, take your family to Church, mandate Sundays as family day, work hard and provide. I'll end with this... "When you have children you will always have family, they will always be your priority, your responsibility and a Man provides. He does it even when he is not respected or appreciated or even loved. He simply bears up and he does it. Because he's a Man. What that looks like is this..., My ex doesn't appreciate me or respect me but I get past that because I have a greater obligation and purpose than worrying about that pettiness. I provide for Her and my daughter (by taking care of the mother you take care of the daughter) and my daughter is always watching and always listening and I am the man she will find in her future so I step it up and assist her by being the man I want her to find. " Puny gods" (The Hulk)