November 28th, 2013 - Christina-1024545 said:
When I was in college, I was concentrating on school and work. I wanted to finish my degree before marriage. You never know, you could be the main bread winner or the man could leave you....so might as well finish the degree before you get sidetrack. Then when I finished my degree, all the people I ran into were married! lol! Then I thought I met the love of my life and that turned out not to be. So I guess if God introduced me to my husband, then I missed it. Or maybe God is preparing him to be the man he should be in our relationship. I do not know. Yet, I am social...a great catch....I make friends wherever I go....so it seems if I am meant to spend my life with someone....if that is God's will...somehow he would be in my life and I will be in his.
May 14th, 2013 - Mark-966684 said:
I hope they keep this thread going. (as I can't access the forums).
After my previous posting I have a 'couple' of additions....
My father was 10 years older than my mother and they had a long and happy marriage.
In the UK according to the census, the number of single people is up.
Some might prefer to be single for whatever reason and occasionally window shop, which is fine.
I have been single for about 18 years, while keeping an eye open for a true life long wife. Terms like partner, soul mate and friend also apply but don't express the full sentiments of how I feel.
After some.... many.. years of thought, contemplation and a bit of prayer.... seeing other cultures and beliefs....
Loads of thoughts.... sitting here I can't remember exactly....
I remember hearing one or more of Pope Benedicts Christmas or Easter messages (it's something I try and listen to, a connection.... with the past and the present), not sure of his exact words, it might have been 2 years ago, maybe something about accountability, it was an influence on a chain of thoughts....
I would like to be a husband holding hands with my wife and children (God willing) following the Catholic Churches teaching....
It's my culture and faith that my parents brought me up in.... It's home.
May 13th, 2013 - Meghan-552834 said:
At first, I did not want to answer God (although I DO believe God ultimately leads us to the one we end up falling in love with and marrying); I wanted to say some other reason, but ALL of the other reasons are negative AS IF being single is a horrible thing! Consider this: can a person be single because she loves people and does not need to be dating one of those people at all times of her life? Dating happens when you make a special connection with someone, and if it does not work out, then the connection might turn into friendship or you can move on your way, happy that you tried. Single-ness is a positive thing! We all were born that way! God intended for it, and it is not without a good and beautiful purpose. That was just my initial thought.
May 13th, 2013 - Mark-966684 said:
I have just read all the comments........
If you haven't then take the time....
Some of the option answers could be better and there should be a feedback system etc.
The world wide economic / political situation has not been mentioned. The consequences of financial instability and greed has its implications on the moral fabric of society. The Catholic Church also has a responsibility, which I feel has lapsed.
We live in a time very different to our ancestors. My parents met at a parish Bingo, a friend met his wife at a 'young' adults group 30years ago, both connected to the Catholic Church. You do not expect food from the garden without applying work and tender loving care, creating a safe environment where invasive weeds are not welcomed...
I live in the UK, unemployed with little money. The toil of winter collecting and cutting wood for the stove has subsided. I have just planted some more seeds and a few seedlings are just showing their first leaves.
I bought this computer to help me find work ..... on the radio a presenter said about a Saints feast day, I tried to look it up and found the following day was the feast day of St Mark! and found this website and signed up (I had heard of sites but they lack morals.... I am wary) but do not have the money to pay for the subscription (and in $!), which would allow me to reply to a message that has been sent by a really nice girl (I think the word lady has an marital/ageist? element, we are all children in the eyes of our Lord Jesus) on this site, that's why I haven't replied (I did send a few of the emotion things saying "Thank you, Hello, Flowers"). After some thought..... I hope this is acceptable by the website, I have set up an e-mail firstname.lastname@example.org (you do the same) (I just hope it doesn't get spammed) especially for you all to communicate with me, the aim, if others agree is for those in the UK & Ireland area to meet up, with something similar happening at other locations around the world. Girls you said about the Boys making the first move.
May 13th, 2013 - Dave-580593 said:
The bottom line is it's the numbers, the numbrs, the numbers! You have to be out pounding the pavement meeting people as much as possible. My experience is that 9 out of 10 attractive women I meet are already taken. But the more you meet in a year's time the more likely you'll be to find one that's available.
May 9th, 2013 - James-958540 said:
a note to Laura 857740. If it works out that way and I am alone and in need of assistance, I will just have to find a way. No way should anyone, you or anyone else find themselves getting involves with someone out of necessity. That could cause more problems than it solves. Better to be alone than to wish you were. Or as G. Washington was known to have said, "Better to be alone than to be in BAD company!" There are women with kids who get involved with men who are VIOLENT and ABUSIVE to them and/or their kids, but stay with them because they seem to believe they '"need" someone. Bad idea! Are you a Nurse or work in a Rehab center, Laura?
May 8th, 2013 - Vivienne-926474 said:
I agree with Robert. God has not introduced you to her yet What? Our God is a loving God The right woman has been circulating before you over and over again but you are not clued in. If you fast, give alms, pray repent and in short remove all blockages you will see her clearly. Oh and you need to ACT decisively and courageously .
May 7th, 2013 - Krystyn-883319 said:
To answer the question, I think that difficulty in meeting good Catholic men who have a holy boldness when it comes to dating & pursuing women is one reason for my single status, but patience is essential when we are on God's time & plan!!! However, I am a little disappointed with the negative tone in some of these comments. At the very least as Catholics we should be charitable & encourage each other to embrace our faith. Men - take courage & rise to the occasion. God has great plans for you to be wonderful husbands & fathers, but you need to do your part -- don't be afraid. Pursue holy women. Trust in God & LEAP into His plan for your life. Women, be supportive of the Catholic men in your life, & be open to men who pursue you. There is no "checklist" of characteristics that will be foolproof. Each person is a unique inspiration of God. Let us not criticize each other's weaknesses, but support one another in growing and pursuing God in all things, even & especially in our vocation to marriage. Let's not speak down to each other or criticize without having walked a mile in someone else's shoes, but rather let us build up a culture that fosters holy relationships and strong Catholic marriages!!!
May 7th, 2013 - Jennifer-728047 said:
Mary 2200 I agree. It's terrible! In the years I have been open to dating on catholic online dating sites, and I have found the same but different...they won't sleep with women they date..but they WILL view pornography then get defensive that you expect them to be "perfect" ??? Really????? That is perfection?
I also don't think it's a matter of "waiting for the right one" for every one. I am a woman and am designed and wired to be pursued. I have guy throwing their numbers at ME! They want me to call them, with the number they tell me to call "if interested." So, as a woman who knows her vocation and feel strongly called to marriage and family, I have to sit in the waiting room and hope and pray that you get yourself offlilne, off your ipads and iphones, and pursue. The moral courage, maturity and leadership just are not there in my generation. Sad. Christian 253779, men like you don't encounter me. Sorry to read of your experiences, because we ARE out there.
God is telling you "patience" Vincent? Are you sure? Or are you telling Him that He is telling you that. If I were a guy, since I'm leader type and proactive in life, I'd not stop until I pursued and found her. Be men, ladies, be women! Theology of the Body is a great start, then possibly Catholic psychology/therapy to see if any side effects to the sins of our own or others, are inhibiting your leadership and courage to pursue.
Perhaps our spouses have been contracepted? Aborted out? I don't know. Maybe just people being so addicted to their "me"phones and not being aware of the surroundings? Case in point: I was at the airport the other day and so many single people just sitting there on their phones...imagine if we TALKED to people, again. And communicated, shared, introduced ourselves. Just an anti-social world?
....as I wait, I will continue serving Him, loving Him and doing all I can to bring Jesus to the world -- hopefully one day He will find me a suitable partner who will help me carry the crosses and add to the joys.
May 7th, 2013 - Mary-2200 said:
The practicing Catholic men I have met ( not saying all, just almost all I have met) have pretty much the same sexual morals as the men of the world. They don't date women who won't sleep with them -- unless she's so much younger or hotter than his other options that it's worth it to him.
May 7th, 2013 - Christian-253779 said:
Too many women on here don't agree with Church teaching, apparently because they think they know better than the Church, which was only founded by someone named JESUS CHRIST, who promised that the Holy Spirit would guide her to Truth, and that the gates of hell shall not prevail against her. Also, too many women who could have several children (based on their age) put "1-2" down as their "ideal" number... why?? It's not that you HAVE to have several children, but... why is 1, or 2 your ideal? What are you afraid of? Now here I refer to women who agree with all 7 of the teachings listed on the profile. Seems that they are not really open to life, and don't really trust God. When I come across this, I look for an explanation in the profile, but I don't really find one, at least not in writing... maybe the best explanation is sometimes right there in the photos... they lead a lifestyle of material comfort and fun, and I guess "too many" kids get in the way of that. Be careful, women... for all you know, you might not even be able to have ONE child, because you waited too long, or you contracepted, or... worse. This is not being "judgmental", by the way... it is called discernment and prudence. Most of these women are physically attractive, and I guess that's why they are this way... they get enough attention from men, so they themselves get more picky and demanding. This brings me to the nutshell version of why I could never find anyone: those women whose virtue I admired, were not in the least attractive to me. Those women who were attractive to me, were not virtuous, or were already taken, or not eligible for sacramental marriage. Welcome to the modern world. Ergo, there really is no one for me.
May 4th, 2013 - James-958540 said:
Simply have not met the right woman. And am at this point beginning to believe that will not happen. I am approaching the point where I am feeling one does not meet that SPECIAL someone at this stage in life. You may meet someone, but that SPECIAL someone, I do not think it's going to happen now.
May 2nd, 2013 - Arlene-713441 said:
I have been divorce 20 years this month. I was busy educating my daughter. Work and Home, Work and Home, I was on the church choir, and the big one is I needed to find the time to heal. But I haven't been looking. I figure with as much contact as I have with the public, he would cross my path if God wanted him to. Arlene
April 27th, 2013 - MaryAlice-964548 said:
I lost my husband ten years ago and vowed never to marry again. But that is easier said than done. With time you feel so alone. You need a partner, someone to be with, talk and share. Go do things, places, etc. I see so many women that are alone, for whatever reasons, and they say that even though one has gotten older, you still need someone. God made us women to have a husband, the partner of our lives -Adam and Eve. But it is true many men prefer the younger ones, but I feel we still have a lot to offer a nice man who is serious about settling down the years that we have left. Only God knows and it is in His Hands.
April 25th, 2013 - Marilyn-965895 said:
didn't think, at my age, there would be anyone nice and a Catholic who would want to take a chance on me. I love to laugh, love animals, love my children, grandchildren and my great-grandchildren. God has blessed me, never thought I'd live long enough to see great-grandchildren. I have one grandson and four granddaughters. I have two daughters that have their families. Love to have fun but, have to use a walker to get around. was hit by a car 16 years ago. unfortunately I have osteoarthritis, so every year gets a little rougher. when people ask how I'm doing I always say still walking.
April 24th, 2013 - Espe-410886 said:
It gets more difficult as I get older and it's either gentlemen fifteen yrs. younger or ten yrs. older that are interested and I'm not interested in neither. It's hard to find that special someone two or three yrs. younger with much of the same interests as me. I was told by two gentlemen on Catholic Match if I ever considered becoming a nun because of some of my responses. I'll wait for God to decide what he wants for me.
April 24th, 2013 - Elizabeth-737581 said:
It's hard to be a single woman--especially at my age--and have an expectation that dating is about a relationship and not about just "having a good time" in every sense of the word. Most people act shocked that you could be waiting for marriage. I went out with one gentleman (not CM) who I learned had been married 3 times and who believed everything was "for pleasure." Needless to say, we didn't go out again! Even on CM, I see gentlemen all the time who express their disagreement with Church teaching on pre-marital sex and contraception. However, I admire their honesty. They may disagree, but at least they are open about it.
April 24th, 2013 - Alejandro-159799 said:
I was looking but I didnt know what was important, I hooked up with the wrong girls, Ive always fallen for the looks, I was shallow... Now I know whats important, girls my age in my country have a lot of bagagge. Then you talk to your friends that are married and it is not always fun of happiness 100%, you become scared, someone broke my heart long time ago and i Truly hated! Im too choosy, personal finances are not very good these times. There are many things, but I really dont have a clue how to change my status, meaning how can I meet a beautiful catholic woman?. Ive tried in my country, but to be honest even in prayer groups I ended with the crazy ones (pretty ones also). Its hard, but not impossible, that is why im trying in catholicmatch
April 23rd, 2013 - Car-930737 said:
After my husband died, I concentrated on raising my children. Today they are on their own and I pray to God to introduce me to the right Christian man. I have faith that he will, but If it meant for me not to meet such person I will accept GOD wishes to remain single for the remaining years of my life.
April 16th, 2013 - MaryEllen-963769 said:
I particularly chose NOT to put myself "out there" while I was raising my son, even though I would have loved to have found the right guy who would have made a great role model to him. My son didn't need confusion and I needed stability - it was a better choice to remain "single" than divide my priorities. My role as Mom came first when his father stepped out. Prior to meeting my son's father, I looked to the things I love to find someone who might be a potential mate - never met anyone who was single, available & interested. Now that my son is an "adult," I'm stepping out again in faith, trusting my heart, my instincts and know exactly what I want in a husband - (as well as what I don't). If my soul-mate is indeed out there, even in cyberspace, Lord willing, he will lead us together!
April 13th, 2013 - Ricky-944326 said:
I can relate to Amy. I have never cheated on any woman but I have been cheated on and I loved these women so much. Some times you start to think what's the use? You get to the point where you don't want to be hurt again. You give it up to God and try to keep the faith but it can be difficult at times
April 11th, 2013 - Angela-950014 said:
I'd say lack of prioritization, lack of having an active social life aligned with my values and beliefs to increased my chances of meeting Mr.Right, and lack of trust of my gut feelings. I got God's call, attended, worked hard to become a loving couple, compromised beliefs to make it work, yet it did not happened at the end. Probing to myself that my gut feelings were right since day one. Currently, I'm working on loving and respect myself more, having clarity about what I love and respect in my future partner, working on being honest with myself and others, and strengthening my will to not settled down for less.
April 11th, 2013 - Lett-65959 said:
Probably the work schedule and the working environment..and me - slow in realizing that i am still single and no night life. (so--hopping on the next time machine to go back in time..;p )
Well joking aside, it's really-all in God's time. Just live a life with no regrets.
April 7th, 2013 - Amy-766016 said:
I have been hurt really bad by the only 2 men I ever Truly Loved and they both cheated, and I would of never thought that, so I've choosen to be single for the last 2yrs, for me to enjoy being w/ me again,and now I'm 100% ready for God to send me my Soul-Mate. Trust was what contributed to me still being single.
April 7th, 2013 - Diane-676415 said:
I AM A VERY SHY PERSON. I AM 4'6" A LOT OF MEN MAKE FUN OF ME OR VERY RUDE REMARKS.I LIKE TO SWIM, WALKING, MOVIES,I LIKE TO GO TO CALIF. AND WALK NEAR THE WATER , AND I LIKE TO .GO FOR RIDES. I AM NOT LOOKING FOR MARRIGE.I AM LOOKING FOR A GREAT FRIEND. WHO LIKE THE SAME THING. I HAVE 4 KIDS AND 10 GRANDCHILDREN. THEY DO NOT LIVE WITH ME.
April 3rd, 2013 - Steven-958229 said:
Much of the time I take the "actions" of someone who is "shy". One of my great pitfalls of the past was "not trying at all"... then the pendulum swung to "trying too hard".... then the pendulum swung too far to "not trying at all"..... then pendulum swung "trying too hard" ....Now I am using one the of Our Lord's gift to us "Free Will" to take DIFFERENT "actions"
March 31st, 2013 - Sue-906387 said:
I believe if we're called by God for the sacrament of marriage, it will happen @ God's timing. Hence, there is no reason to worry or rush things all of which will only hinder God's plan for us and take us backward.
Easy does it. Trusting in God's way, plan, time if it was mean to be.
March 29th, 2013 - Joe-890299 said:
I like Richard, Greg & Hector's answers & would like to add some of these so-called "matches' don't adhere to things on my wish list. E.g : I think to have a "100%" match you only have to meet 1 requirement as in Height: "4 ft, 3" to 6 ft, 8." i usually reply that I'm 4 ft, 3.....sitting down!
As for age, 55 to 64, in my case, cause I'm too old to want someone older than me! Jurassic Park, Baby, here I come!!
March 29th, 2013 - Chris-930705 said:
I had to laugh at the nature of this poll: most of the replies seems to absolve the poll-taker of responsibility. There's an underlying current of "If people would just *meet* me, I'm sure I would have plenty of people lining up to enjoy my company!"
In my case, the truth is probably closer to "a little of this, a little of that, and after several decades of living by myself, I've fallen into some habits that make women think twice about me. But I'm trying to improve. Pray for me!"
March 28th, 2013 - Matthew-954586 said:
I don't think we should expect God to "introduce us" to each other. He would not have given us free will or Jesus who told us to actually get up and do good things.
Modern culture does not coincide with our beliefs, that being said I think there are not enough places or instances to meet like minded people or maybe even not enough like minded and good people in our day to day lives.
March 28th, 2013 - Andrew-290721 said:
Satan has systematically eliminated women who might be compatible with me over the last 60 years or so. I never had a chance. I want to marry a grownup, not a kid in jeans and sneakers. I wanted to image fatherhood, and I wanted my wife to image motherhood, but no one cares about that.
March 28th, 2013 - Richard-595743 said:
In the past, dating was easy and fun, because everyone was out and about: no computer, internet, netflix, cable tv, etc. that keep most at home nowadays. It was also much easier to converse with others in public places in the past and meet, as everyone now is locked to his/her cell phone and iPod, etc., even in public places. In any event, internet dating is no substitute or remedy for the loss of "real" dating and the development of lasting relationships.