This room is for supportive and informative discussion about divorce and/or the annulment process. All posters must have been previously divorced or annulled.
Saint Eugene De Mazenod is patron of dysfunctional families & Saint Fabiola obtained a divorce from her first husband prior to devoting her life to charitable works.
Learn More: Saint Eugene De Mazenod and Saint Fabiola
I stumbled onto this post and I just want you to know I am going through the same situation. I somehow wish that I was a more devout Catholic so that my faith will carry me through this very difficult guilt of divorce. It is very difficult emotionally and all I can say to you is do not give up.
I hope this helps, a little of my story.
About 22 years ago my sweet little miss started drinking like a sailor on shore leave, and acting like a sailor on shore leave in other ways. I was so hurt, but I had a lot of responsibility at work, brutal work hours and had I been honest things had been unraveling for a while. Honest communication between us had died. We came to take each other for granted.
I was also a Irish born non-practicing Catholic at the time. I suggested we try marriage counseling, I called every Church in Dale City VA, and would you know that the local catholic church is the only one who called me back?
Nothing could save the marriage, but sometimes the Priest we visited was running late and I would stick my head in the Adoration Chapel while waiting. God cares, listens and we have been close ever since.
Without anyone in particular in mind I told folks I'd be married in three years. It's been 22 years. Twenty two very good years. Of the more than a dozen women I dated only one never became a daily communicant. One was an Episcopal priest, I became her RCIA sponsor after I taught her the Rosary and the Chaplet of Divine Mercy.
God has always stood with me, I've learned that we are a pilgrim people, always wandering and learning in our travels even if we never stray far from home. Single is not a state of incomplete, but a vocation in its own right.
I've learned that I'll never be happy with someone else until I'm first happy alone.
I got my annulment in a record 11 months. Tribunals do not give annulments on the basis of pity, they need a basis. I purchased every book I could find on church annulments. Studied them. I spent a lot of time reflecting on any of the conditions might be germane in my case.
For each applicable basis I asked for an annulment based on ... ; made an concise rational argument, then reinforced my point with several antidotal situations that amply illustrated my basis. When I was all done I had five different basis for an annulment and I only needed to win any one of the five. I was five for five.
My folks have 62 years together, that is what I also wanted. At age 56 it isn't going to happen to me. But I've never been happier, I enjoy being independent and a majority of one. I have a very comfortable and secure life. I am richly blessed.
Would I trade my independence for the right woman? I'd give the world for the right woman. Would I work 100+ hours a week so she can buy 5 pair of shoes a day? Maybe that is why I am still single?
BTW I not could say a Hail Mary from memory 22 years ago, a bit of a blessing. I fell in with one very orthodox (as in faithful) group after another. I did a lot of reading, thinking and praying. I had wonderful priest friends who lent me their seminary textbooks. Over time I had a major impact in the spiritual life of my family by sharing books with them. God can do wonderful things with a boomerang Catholic.
BRIAN FOR THIS FORUM ITS VERY IMPORTANT,I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE SOME INFORMATION IN SPANISH?I AM GOING TO GET THE LAST PAPPERS FOR MY ANNULMENT THANKS GOD MAYBE IN JANUARY OR FEBRUARY.VERY IMPORTANT BECAUSE I WOULD LIKE TO GET MARRIED WITH A GOOD CATHOLIC MAN.ITS NOT AN EASY PROCESS AND WE HAVE TO BE READY TO FILL ALL PAPPERS.TALK WITH THE PRIEST.UNDERSTAND WHAT HAPPENED IN YOUR MARRIAGE...AND NEVER LOSE YOUR FAITH..GOD BLESS YOU
Consider "googling" the information needed
To Bryan, Yes! You most likely will be able to have your first marriage annulled and be married in the church. There are so many resources available to you, especially at your local parish. Since you have been away so long, perhaps you would want to join an RCIA group. Many are forming at this time of year.
I have so many happy married friends with similar pasts as yours. The best is yet to come for you!
I am the President of Separated and Divorced Catholics of the Archdiocese of Washington (DC). Our website is: www.rc.net . We are a peer ministry. The site has links for the Archdioceses of Washington and Baltimore and the Diocese of Arlington. There is also a link to the North American Conference of Separated and Divorced Catholics (NACSDC - now called the Catholic Divorced Menistry or CDM). The national ministry was founded by the late Father Jim Young in the seventies, but as I state in the article "Who Fonded SDC?" ( www.rc.net ) Jesus founded the Church's Ministry to the divorced in His encounter with our patron saint: the Woman at the Well (Gospel of John 4:5-42).
My previous post did not record the full website address. You must add "/washington/sdc" to the http://www.rc.net to navigate to our website. The "Who founded SDC?" article is a link near the top of the page.
Bryan, welcome to the forum and welcome back to the Catholic church!
It sounds like you would benefit from and RCIA program and talking to your parish priest about the annulment process. He could direct you to someone in the diocese to get first hand information from. It is important to find the right person at the diocese to talk to. Wishing you well!