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This room is for those who have lost a spouse and need support or who can provide support to those who have.

Saint Paula is the patron saint of widows and Saint Stephen is the patron saint of deacons
Learn More: Saint Stephen and Saint Paula

I was married for 23 years. Phil was almost six years younger than I am, but he had such a baby face that people still apologize for the loss of my son. Why is it that having five kids aged me and not him-sadness? Any way, I am 50 and I feel like a freak of nature. I know what it is like to be loved well for a long time. I have five grown children. Many people my age are bitter or just want options. Many think they are going to have to compete with a man who died a hero. Many people my age are not as active as I am (small; understatement). Although I do not expect people to keep up with me, it does set me further apart. It is strange to be making decisions and choices for myself after spending my whole adult life married. It is strange to be trying to figure out the singles game again. I wasn't good at it the first time. Am I the only one that feels like the pariah?
04/30/2012 new

(Quote) Linda-756196 said: I was married for 23 years. Phil was almost six years younger than I am, but he had such a baby face tha...
(Quote) Linda-756196 said: I was married for 23 years. Phil was almost six years younger than I am, but he had such a baby face that people still apologize for the loss of my son. Why is it that having five kids aged me and not him-sadness? Any way, I am 50 and I feel like a freak of nature. I know what it is like to be loved well for a long time. I have five grown children. Many people my age are bitter or just want options. Many think they are going to have to compete with a man who died a hero. Many people my age are not as active as I am (small; understatement). Although I do not expect people to keep up with me, it does set me further apart. It is strange to be making decisions and choices for myself after spending my whole adult life married. It is strange to be trying to figure out the singles game again. I wasn't good at it the first time. Am I the only one that feels like the pariah?
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Linda I know what you mean as far as feeling like a freak of nature. I was 46 when I became a widow after 20 very loving years with my Chris. He was 3 years younger than me and held his age beautifully. I do not understand this dating thing at all. Before I was married I never dated much, certainly not like my two sisters or friends did. So I will stumble along. I am finding out that I am considered a fairly young grandmother of 3. So many of the men my age have children at home and I am not so sure I want to relive going through the trials of raising a teenager again. My husband did not die a heros death like yours did but he died a victims death so I had anger issues to resolve. I am not sure what you mean by pariah? hug

04/30/2012 new

I, too, feel a bit strange in todays world being alone. But I grab onto those whom have gone through the same experience and boy, are they a breath of fresh air. The great thing about you is that you have no bitterness in your heart and life is beautiful. Its a reflection coming from your smile and it beams across the horizon. People are attracted to genuine smiles and you will have more on your plate than you bargained for.

04/30/2012 new

heart I'm a Nature Freak!eyepopping

04/30/2012 new

(Quote) John-631631 said: I'm a Nature Freak!
(Quote) John-631631 said:

I'm a Nature Freak!

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Well, John, now we know for sure!!! laughing

04/30/2012 new

I hope John spelt it correctly, 'nature', not 'naturist', unless he has a rare ability to pass oxygen into the atmosphere while greening himself in the sun, in which case, we might pass a plate around and give him one of these for those few formal occasions such as church when a fig leaf is kind of inadequate.


www.documentingreality.com


04/30/2012 new
hug Praying rosary rose

I was 38 when my husband passed away. We had a relationship that spanned 22 years.

I had 1 boyfriend prior to my husband, and 1 courtship since his passing 4 years ago. He was unable to have children.

hug Praying rosary rose
04/30/2012 new

(Quote) Linda-756196 said: .... Many think they are going to have to compete with a man who died a hero. ....
(Quote) Linda-756196 said: .... Many think they are going to have to compete with a man who died a hero. ....
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Will this be letting an elephant into the matrimonial home? And it lives for such a long time too, as long as a long marriage perhaps, and it remembers every thing that slights, nicks and pricks. Or will it be letting in two elephants, one for each spouse? Will there be a need for elephant whispering during those F2Fs before anything settles down, "What is a hero? Are there grades of hero? What size hole-in-the-soul does a hero leave? Can it be filled? Must it be filled? Are you a hero? Does it matter?"

04/30/2012 new

(Quote) Ray-566531 said: Well, John, now we know for sure!!!
(Quote) Ray-566531 said:

Well, John, now we know for sure!!!

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hee hee heetongue

04/30/2012 new

(Quote) John-631631 said: I'm a Nature Freak!
(Quote) John-631631 said:

I'm a Nature Freak!

--hide--


Yes yes now go to bed. tongue

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