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This room is for supportive and informative discussion about divorce and/or the annulment process. All posters must have been previously divorced or annulled.

Saint Eugene De Mazenod is patron of dysfunctional families & Saint Fabiola obtained a divorce from her first husband prior to devoting her life to charitable works.
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Hi family/friends,

I have been having a lot of trouble with conversations with men. I guess I'm just not ready for all of what I'm getting. First I had 3 bad experiences with men who said they were something they weren't (thankfully not here) and basically were in foreign countries looking for an American woman to marry. Nothing like having someone professing undying love for you after a 15 minute conversation. So three times I had to block people on my instant messenger and email.

Recently someone just started talking to me and was asking about "pictures" and the way he was hinting around left me little doubt what type of pictures he wanted. Then someone else saw a posting I had about a topic regarding sexuality (Catholic site) and wanted to know if we could be "friends" and talk about our "experiences" but he said what he meant (trying to edit it here on the forum).

Today someone from a Catholic forum wants to be "friends" and wants to see pictures, and talk incessantly. I had to cut him off because I was done at work and had to get to the church to help set up for our dinner tomorrow night and also meet with the Deacon about my anullment. When I got home there he was on my instant messenger asking me if I spent the "time we were apart" thinking about him. How do I say, "No actually I was quite busy setting up tables, china, silverware and meeting with the Deacon". He's sort of angry I'm being slow about talking to him. I get a good sense of people and I'm cautious. This is the internet after all and I don't understand someone who says he has a job who is online for hours and hours. The job he says he has would not allow this much internet time. He got upset when there were long pauses in our chat today. I was WORKING. I said this several times.

Maybe ths is just too soon, maybe I just don't see the point in "diving in" with someone. I want to make some male friends and socialize, get used to being single out in the dating world. I really don't want to "fall in love" in 15 minutes online. Maybe I just don't have the energy for this, which makes me feel very sad. If I don't have the energy for this, then how do I expect to meet someone? I just don't know.

Anyone else felt like this? I'm totally unsure...I just don't know HOW to date and "be single". I'm confused.

Lorrie

05/08/2012 new

There's some weird dudes out there, Lorrie. Stay vigilant.

05/08/2012 new

Lorrie,


I've had similar experiences. Nothing about this is easy and the Internet adds another layer of complexity. I have to echo the other post on vigilance. I don't give out my personal email or phone anymore. Not to be paranoid...but be paranoid. boggled

05/08/2012 new

You're right on that, and I'm sure men go through these same uncertainties and problems. It's just the complex world of the internet. You're right I have to be careful about my email, it's too tiring to have to block someone once they show me the next stop on the "love train" is crazy town. LOL

05/08/2012 new

I don't give out my email until I've messaged here a lot. Phone is the same. And, I want a last name to verify that they actually exist and see if I can get a sense of who they are by their online footprint.

I don't dive. There's too much at stake and the internet is a convenient place for a ne'er-do-well to lie in wait for the unsuspecting.

All that said, Mr. Impatient seems just a tad needy. I've run into one like that and I had to put a stop to it. I don't have time for someone like that, even on just a friendship level. And, who needs the emotional roller coaster either?!

I think you're probably just fine, Lorrie. Guys with big issues like the ones you're describing, we can do without. Better to be alone. But, not better to purposely withdraw from life to avoid them. Keep trying.

05/09/2012 new

So much chaff, and so little wheat. Don't force it. Be patient. You said you are working on your annulment? Then it looks like you have plenty of time to wait for the right pitch to come down the plate for you to swing at. Just keep your discernment up, be patient, and pray for guidance and the right guy will come around at the right time.

05/09/2012 new

(Quote) Ted-548403 said: So much chaff, and so little wheat. Don't force it. Be patient. You said you are working on you...
(Quote) Ted-548403 said:

So much chaff, and so little wheat. Don't force it. Be patient. You said you are working on your annulment? Then it looks like you have plenty of time to wait for the right pitch to come down the plate for you to swing at. Just keep your discernment up, be patient, and pray for guidance and the right guy will come around at the right time.

--hide--


what Ted said, exactly! Richard, Ali and Laurie all said things i would have said too.


Honestly, i was out there on other sites before finally coming here. yes, there are crazies everywhere, but you're chumming the water for 'em by going through those other venues. Gone Fishing!

05/09/2012 new

(Quote) Cari-789634 said: what Ted said, exactly! Richard, Ali and Laurie all said things i would have said too...
(Quote) Cari-789634 said:


what Ted said, exactly! Richard, Ali and Laurie all said things i would have said too.


Honestly, i was out there on other sites before finally coming here. yes, there are crazies everywhere, but you're chumming the water for 'em by going through those other venues.

--hide--


You're right on that. I stopped even using any of the secular sites. I'm not saying people can't lie on here. Heck we all wear masks to varying degrees but key to me is he needs to be a devout practicing Catholic and that can be spotted after conversing for a while. You get a feel for it when it's genuine. I was married to a Jewish man--great faith, but not my faith and it didn't work. So that is not up for compromise for me. I sure am getting lazy in my old age. Thanks Richard and Ted, I like to hear a man's take on it.


Lorrie

05/09/2012 new

Me? or Lorrie? I've got my annulment. I've had it for about 3 years. Came through in less time than the divorce. Theology professor said it had to have been on the fast track, an open and shut case. I was stunned when I got the document in the mail. Part of me sad...like someone had died. But, a lot of relief that I really did do the right thing when I flied for the divorce. No more second guessing.

05/09/2012 new
I've had the same experiences and I think Catholic Match was the first website I was scammed on unfortunately. There are a lot of "posers" out there and I don't know what the right answer is. I just figure if it's God's will He will Plop someone right in front of me. I have learned not to try to control it but surrender to it and be at peace with whatever God has in store for me. It's taken some time but I'm comfortable in my own skin, being single, or if something comes a long that's fine too.
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