(Quote) Lorrie-735074 said:
Tonight is another one of "those nights" . My life consists of getting ready for work,...
(Quote) Lorrie-735074 said:
Tonight is another one of "those nights" . My life consists of getting ready for work, working, eating dinner, watching TV and answering email, sleeping and repeat ad infinitum. That's it. I go to Mass on Saturday afternoon and the rest of my weekend is lying around.
The loneliness is horrible--I sleep very little and I'm relieved when it's time to get up so I don't have to lay there anymore and think about how I'm all alone. Sometimes I roll over and go to throw my arm around someone --and he's not there so my arm hits the bed, I startle awake and then cry. I hate nighttime. My friends are all married so they have families and I am feeling like the only person who lives alone on the entire planet. --I'd laugh at tha but I'm bummed.
How do you get out of the loneliness. Sadly I'm financially strapped so I really don't have $$ to go out. I'm just needing to adjust my attitude but not sure how. I'm sick of crying and feeling cruddy. Being alone isn't always bad, I just sink into this loneliness, heck I talk to the characters on TV...no one to laugh or chat with. I am glad I stopped drinking because that was going nowhere...but what helps you when loneliness creeps in?
Lorrie, although I got divorced a long, long time ago, I do think some of the things that I did to get past the loneliness might still apply. And, I think probably the most important for me was to start making new friendships (or at least acquaintanceships, since friendships take time). As for where: to make acquaintances/friends - some suggestions: Church, divorce support groups whether at church or other, classes (anything from tennis to knitting to whatever) - and many communities or jr. colleges will have low-cost options, meetup groups ( http://www.meetup.com),
meeting friends through other friends, and if you've stopped drinking I think a good source might be AA groups. The main thing with all of these though is that you have to put yourself out there, and talk to people (and many times they won't talk back), but every once in a while someone will talk back and a friendship begins to form. I also found that I made friends more easily while on vacation somewhere or in a vacation setting such as the beach. And, even to just go out by yourself to your local coffee shop and have a cup of coffee - I know friends that have met both other friends and people they started to date this way. The main thing is to just start getting out there - not every night - and not a huge event, but to start doing things even if you're by yourself. There are lots of places to go where you don't have to spend money. A library, a church, a store (window-shopping), a college campus (wander around), a park, etc. It takes courage and effort, but as you start doing things, the next time it takes a little less effort, and then even less effort, and soon you might find that you're actually enjoying yourself! I hope this helps - if even a tiny bit. Remember, it just takes time!