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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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06/14/2012 new

(Quote) Ann-69118 said: I there there are 2 issues here. 1)Honestly....and that's where I compl...
(Quote) Ann-69118 said:

I there there are 2 issues here.

1)Honestly....and that's where I completely agree with you she should have posted a recent picture at least within the last year. I've had guys do this too and they think nothing of it. One guy I met was a blond in his picture but actually had dark brown hair and didn't bother to tell me before we met so I was looking for a blond when I met him and didn't recognize him. It wasn't a big deal but really but it would have been nice of him to let me know he changed his hair color so I would know he was not a no show. We actually did date awhile but distance caused things to fizzle out.

2) Self Identity. I think from what you posted that this lady may really think her photo is an accurate representation of how she looks today. Some people don't see themselves clearly or think of themselves as the same person they were 10 years ago even if age has changed things. this is also very common among men too. I hear complaints about it from other women all the time. Just keep in mind that it's best not to have expectations of who a person is or what they look like before you meet in person. Even with recent pictures people still look different to me sometimes in person then they do in their photographs.

Hope that helps.

--hide--


Ouch - number two is a VERY good point. People perceive themselves a certain way regardless of what the reality is. I don't think it addresses the phone call, or the person at church, but thanks for that reminder.

06/14/2012 new
(Quote) Keith-733524 said: I got a question for all of you. Went out last week. When I met my date she didn't look at all what she had...
(Quote) Keith-733524 said:

I got a question for all of you. Went out last week. When I met my date she didn't look at all what she had posted on the site. She admitted that the picture was 10 years old and she asked me if I was mad. I told her that I was frustrated in that she didn't look like what she posted on the site. I told her that I don't like it when people are not honest. However we ordered our dinner and I made the best of it.

A couple of days later she called me up on the phone and wanted to know if I wanted to get together again and I said, "no, I didn't think it would be a good idea." She asked me why, as if we never talked about the fact that she wasn't honest. She told me that she was upset and that I am obviously afraid of committment and obviously, "hate women." Although I am not currently looking to get involved in full blown relationship, I don't hate women. She made the comment, "you obviously have been hurt and need therapy." Actua

Now I am at Church the other day and one of her male friends approaches me and says, "Hey I am a friend of "so and so" and she really likes you. Why don't you want to go out with her again?"

Don't worry it is nobody from this site, and although the gal is a professing Christian, I was not physically attracted to her and I especially don't like it when people are just dishonest from the get go. What do I do. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, but I don't want to go out with her again. I don't think that I need therapy because I don't want to go out with her again.

Thanks,

Keith

--hide--
Sounds like a psycho!
06/14/2012 new

Women like closure but she sounds like she likes him and so asked her friends to help her out which in my opinion is a mistake if he was still interested he would have called her. Sounds like she's chasing him which isn't a good senario especially if the feeling isn't mutual.

06/14/2012 new

(Quote) Keith-733524 said: I got a question for all of you. Went out last week. When I met my date she didn't look at al...
(Quote) Keith-733524 said:

I got a question for all of you. Went out last week. When I met my date she didn't look at all what she had posted on the site. She admitted that the picture was 10 years old and she asked me if I was mad. I told her that I was frustrated in that she didn't look like what she posted on the site. I told her that I don't like it when people are not honest. However we ordered our dinner and I made the best of it.

A couple of days later she called me up on the phone and wanted to know if I wanted to get together again and I said, "no, I didn't think it would be a good idea." She asked me why, as if we never talked about the fact that she wasn't honest. She told me that she was upset and that I am obviously afraid of committment and obviously, "hate women." Although I am not currently looking to get involved in full blown relationship, I don't hate women. She made the comment, "you obviously have been hurt and need therapy." Actua

Now I am at Church the other day and one of her male friends approaches me and says, "Hey I am a friend of "so and so" and she really likes you. Why don't you want to go out with her again?"

Don't worry it is nobody from this site, and although the gal is a professing Christian, I was not physically attracted to her and I especially don't like it when people are just dishonest from the get go. What do I do. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, but I don't want to go out with her again. I don't think that I need therapy because I don't want to go out with her again.

Thanks,

Keith

--hide--

Keith - you handled it just fine. You don't owe her or anyone else another explanation.

IF her friend at church approaches you again, just repeat you are not interested in going out again, and say "and she knows why." If pressed again, ask him when you all slipped back to second grade, and you'd like to see the note she passed you - then laugh about it. laughing rolling eyes

Like many people, she hopes for more than you felt. It happens, we've all been there at one time or another. Move on and don't let her statements bother you. We'll never control what other people think.

06/14/2012 new

(Quote) Ann-69118 said: Women like closure but she sounds like she likes him and so asked her friends to help her out which ...
(Quote) Ann-69118 said:

Women like closure but she sounds like she likes him and so asked her friends to help her out which in my opinion is a mistake if he was still interested he would have called her. Sounds like she's chasing him which isn't a good senario especially if the feeling isn't mutual.

--hide--


True Ann. It seems she has lost his interest by making several bad decisions in a row. Yes women do like closure.

06/14/2012 new

(Quote) Keith-733524 said: I got a question for all of you. Went out last week. When I met my date she didn't look at al...
(Quote) Keith-733524 said:

I got a question for all of you. Went out last week. When I met my date she didn't look at all what she had posted on the site. She admitted that the picture was 10 years old and she asked me if I was mad. I told her that I was frustrated in that she didn't look like what she posted on the site. I told her that I don't like it when people are not honest. However we ordered our dinner and I made the best of it.

A couple of days later she called me up on the phone and wanted to know if I wanted to get together again and I said, "no, I didn't think it would be a good idea." She asked me why, as if we never talked about the fact that she wasn't honest. She told me that she was upset and that I am obviously afraid of committment and obviously, "hate women." Although I am not currently looking to get involved in full blown relationship, I don't hate women. She made the comment, "you obviously have been hurt and need therapy." Actua

Now I am at Church the other day and one of her male friends approaches me and says, "Hey I am a friend of "so and so" and she really likes you. Why don't you want to go out with her again?"

Don't worry it is nobody from this site, and although the gal is a professing Christian, I was not physically attracted to her and I especially don't like it when people are just dishonest from the get go. What do I do. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, but I don't want to go out with her again. I don't think that I need therapy because I don't want to go out with her again.

Thanks,

Keith

--hide--
Very simple solution: NEXT!!!!!

06/14/2012 new

Keith I can see your point. If she posted a picture of herself from 10 years ago that is misleading. Just curious but do you know why she did that? Does she think perhaps the picture from 10 years ago was a really good one of her ? Nevertheless we all look different today then we did 10 years ago. Regardless of the fact that she doesn't look the way you thought she did if you are not attracted to her and do not want to go out with her then you should not do it. You cannot go out on a date with her if you have decided after meeting her that she is just not the one for you. Honesty is the best way to be. You can do it in a kind way. Also if she posted a picture of herself, it was 10 years old and didn't tell you then is she really being honest. When someone shows you the way they are believe them. I would wonder why she didn't tell you her picture was 10 years old before you met her. If she can't be honest about that then what else is she hiding? Just my 2 cents.

06/14/2012 new

She sounds immature. I agree that you should get your gym shoes on and run! I was going to say you already graduated from middle school, and someone else mentioned 2nd grade. That's about it.

I suggest you ask some nice girl from CM out this weekend as a way to just get back out there and move on! Good luck. goldfish

I don't love my own photo, eyepopping but it's recent and it is what it is.

06/14/2012 new

(Quote) Elisha-519716 said: Sounds like a psycho!
(Quote) Elisha-519716 said: Sounds like a psycho!
--hide--
Agreed. She needs to go run a remote motel with her mother and live behind it in a Victorian Adams Family house.

06/14/2012 new

(Quote) Keith-733524 said: I got a question for all of you. Went out last week. When I met my date she didn't look at al...
(Quote) Keith-733524 said:

I got a question for all of you. Went out last week. When I met my date she didn't look at all what she had posted on the site. She admitted that the picture was 10 years old and she asked me if I was mad. I told her that I was frustrated in that she didn't look like what she posted on the site. I told her that I don't like it when people are not honest. However we ordered our dinner and I made the best of it.

A couple of days later she called me up on the phone and wanted to know if I wanted to get together again and I said, "no, I didn't think it would be a good idea." She asked me why, as if we never talked about the fact that she wasn't honest. She told me that she was upset and that I am obviously afraid of committment and obviously, "hate women." Although I am not currently looking to get involved in full blown relationship, I don't hate women. She made the comment, "you obviously have been hurt and need therapy." Actua

Now I am at Church the other day and one of her male friends approaches me and says, "Hey I am a friend of "so and so" and she really likes you. Why don't you want to go out with her again?"

Don't worry it is nobody from this site, and although the gal is a professing Christian, I was not physically attracted to her and I especially don't like it when people are just dishonest from the get go. What do I do. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, but I don't want to go out with her again. I don't think that I need therapy because I don't want to go out with her again.

Thanks,

Keith

--hide--
Dating a fellow Parishioner (unless it is a large Church community) is no different than dating within the workplace. Like you are now experiencing, there is the awkwardness of running into them if things don't work out. You have nothing to apologize for. Sounds like you dodged a bullet- take this as a lesson learned.

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