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Topics from forums which did not have at least 2 new topics per month for the past 6 months are archived here.

Confession Clarification

06/18/2012 new

Hi everyone,

I am very excited that the priest at the new parish where I'm attending has set up a time to meet with me. After not having any guidance for 6 months I'm very eager to go over some issues/concerns I'm having with Confession. I really need a priest to help me sort this out. I have OCD and can really get confused and carried away with Confession and the way I interpret things.

Does anyone else have scrupilosity issues they struggle with? I'm just so relieved that this priest will meet with me as he's been in ministry for over 20 years. I went into Confession with him 2 weeks ago and he totally changed my whole way of seeing myself. He gave me direction on what to do when I start beating myself up, and it's been working. It's like being a whole new person.

Just keep me in your prayers and feel free to share any struggles/victories you've had about Confession and what's helped you. It looks like I may have finally found a church home, no more "orphan Catholic" here. highfive

Hugs to all

Lorrie

06/19/2012 new

(Quote) Lorrie-735074 said: Hi everyone, I am very excited that the priest at the new parish where I'm attending ...
(Quote) Lorrie-735074 said:

Hi everyone,

I am very excited that the priest at the new parish where I'm attending has set up a time to meet with me. After not having any guidance for 6 months I'm very eager to go over some issues/concerns I'm having with Confession. I really need a priest to help me sort this out. I have OCD and can really get confused and carried away with Confession and the way I interpret things.

Does anyone else have scrupilosity issues they struggle with? I'm just so relieved that this priest will meet with me as he's been in ministry for over 20 years. I went into Confession with him 2 weeks ago and he totally changed my whole way of seeing myself. He gave me direction on what to do when I start beating myself up, and it's been working. It's like being a whole new person.

Just keep me in your prayers and feel free to share any struggles/victories you've had about Confession and what's helped you. It looks like I may have finally found a church home, no more "orphan Catholic" here.

Hugs to all

Lorrie

--hide--
Confession (reconciliation) should be a comforting experience spiritually. Apparently you didn't feel this comfort with your former parish priest, which does happen occasionally. Be glad you found a confessor with whom you can discuss your concerns. I'm sure you're not the only one who has or has had issues/concerns with confession.

Confession is supposed to be a positive experience -- you've made peace with the Good Lord. What could be more satisfying than that? It helps give you strength and a feeling of resolve to do better.

In my younger days though, it was like going to the dentist. I really didn't want to go, but it felt so good afterward. Fortunately that attitude went by the wayside, as did the old "grocery list" type of confession. Being able to discuss particular issues with a confessor has been very helpful and positive.

06/19/2012 new

Thank you Ray,

I really appreciate your comments. I think sometimes if you have mental issues and/or simply haven't been catechised properly re: Confession it can become anxiety provoking. I always feel better when done but there also the issue of addiction/compulsion and I really feel one needs a confessor when dealing with those sorts of things in order to ensure that you aren't getting into scruples or blowing off things and making excuses. I am very excited about meeting him this Friday afternoon.

Lorrie

06/19/2012 new

(Quote) Lorrie-735074 said: Thank you Ray,I really appreciate your comments. I think sometimes if you have mental is...
(Quote) Lorrie-735074 said:

Thank you Ray,

I really appreciate your comments. I think sometimes if you have mental issues and/or simply haven't been catechised properly re: Confession it can become anxiety provoking. I always feel better when done but there also the issue of addiction/compulsion and I really feel one needs a confessor when dealing with those sorts of things in order to ensure that you aren't getting into scruples or blowing off things and making excuses. I am very excited about meeting him this Friday afternoon.

Lorrie

--hide--
I think a few good sessions with your new confessor will be helpful and put you at ease, especially when confronting issues to determine if they're right or wrong. A person can be overly scrupulous as you already know. It's a priest's worst nightmare, plus that, it's disconcerting to the overly scrupulous person. There's enough anxiety in this world without adding more needlessly. A little guidance can help people a lot.

You're right about people not being properly catechised. It's tragic in more ways than one. Not only is it harmful to the person, but to others who might have learned from that individual. We'll never know or understand everything about our Faith, but certainly we should all know the basics.

We hope your Friday meeting will be fruitful and bring you peace.

06/24/2012 new

Well the meeting went fantastic. I got more guidance/direction in 1 hour and 15 minutes than I got in a year of struggling in the former parish. I got good solid direction on this compulsion/addiction issue and now I know exactly what I need to do. I feel so at peace there. I am very sad about the former parish and since that priest I didn't get along with is leaving I will be eager to hear from the people I still have as friends how things are going. It's just so tainted for me I get panic attacks walking in there. The new parish is a newer church. We are having a special mass this coming Thurs celebrating 18 years of the parish and 14 years in the new building. The current priest is the only priest they have had and I really value his input. I also started reading a really cool book that has helped with confession issues: Explanation of Catholic Morals A Concise, Reasoned, and Popular Exposition of Catholic Morals by John H. (John Henry) Stapleton. I have it free on my Kindle. It goes into the differences between remorse, unfounded guilt, scrupilosity, regret, addiction/compulsion and sin. Very helpful. I feel like I'm up and running now. I don't plan on trying to be buddies with the priest, rather, I feel that since this is sorted out it was what was making my spiritual life miserable, anxiety-provoking, and confusing. Now I feel like I can move on and while I know I have serious forgiveness work to do re the other priest, I feel at least now I can begin to take positive steps forward. The self hatred is gone and I feel a sense of God's love that is a totally new experience for me.

Hugs to all,

Lorrie

06/24/2012 new

(Quote) Lorrie-735074 said: Hi everyone, I am very excited that the priest at the new parish where I'm attending ...
(Quote) Lorrie-735074 said:

Hi everyone,

I am very excited that the priest at the new parish where I'm attending has set up a time to meet with me. After not having any guidance for 6 months I'm very eager to go over some issues/concerns I'm having with Confession. I really need a priest to help me sort this out. I have OCD and can really get confused and carried away with Confession and the way I interpret things.

Does anyone else have scrupilosity issues they struggle with? I'm just so relieved that this priest will meet with me as he's been in ministry for over 20 years. I went into Confession with him 2 weeks ago and he totally changed my whole way of seeing myself. He gave me direction on what to do when I start beating myself up, and it's been working. It's like being a whole new person.

Just keep me in your prayers and feel free to share any struggles/victories you've had about Confession and what's helped you. It looks like I may have finally found a church home, no more "orphan Catholic" here.

Hugs to all

Lorrie

--hide--


I think this used to be an issue with me, but then I read more and more about it, then I got better. I still may confess more than I "have to," and I've been questioned twice actually, but usually, they'll just let me keep going... lol Blessings to you!

06/25/2012 new

(Quote) Lorrie-735074 said: Well the meeting went fantastic. I got more guidance/direction in 1 hour and 15 minutes than I g...
(Quote) Lorrie-735074 said:

Well the meeting went fantastic. I got more guidance/direction in 1 hour and 15 minutes than I got in a year of struggling in the former parish. I got good solid direction on this compulsion/addiction issue and now I know exactly what I need to do. I feel so at peace there. I am very sad about the former parish and since that priest I didn't get along with is leaving I will be eager to hear from the people I still have as friends how things are going. It's just so tainted for me I get panic attacks walking in there. The new parish is a newer church. We are having a special mass this coming Thurs celebrating 18 years of the parish and 14 years in the new building. The current priest is the only priest they have had and I really value his input. I also started reading a really cool book that has helped with confession issues: Explanation of Catholic Morals A Concise, Reasoned, and Popular Exposition of Catholic Morals by John H. (John Henry) Stapleton. I have it free on my Kindle. It goes into the differences between remorse, unfounded guilt, scrupilosity, regret, addiction/compulsion and sin. Very helpful. I feel like I'm up and running now. I don't plan on trying to be buddies with the priest, rather, I feel that since this is sorted out it was what was making my spiritual life miserable, anxiety-provoking, and confusing. Now I feel like I can move on and while I know I have serious forgiveness work to do re the other priest, I feel at least now I can begin to take positive steps forward. The self hatred is gone and I feel a sense of God's love that is a totally new experience for me.

Hugs to all,

Lorrie

--hide--
Nearly all of the priests I've encountered during confession have demonstrated a wealth of knowledge, wisdom, and compassion, which can reinforce one's feeling of self-worth. I'm happy to hear that you've discovered a confessor who spent the time you needed to resolve many issues, or at least get you started in the right direction. Perhaps the other priest's "bedside manner" left something to be desired where you're concerned, that doesn't mean all of them are like that, as you have discovered.

Isn't it refreshing to shed a lot of guilt and spiritual burdens? And self-hatred isn't what the Good Lord wants for us -- it's humiility -- a recognition of the truth (about Him and ourselves).

You've begun a positive spiritual journey -- we wish you Godspeed as you continue on this path.

10/20/2012 new

(Quote) Lorrie-735074 said: Well the meeting went fantastic. I got more guidance/direction in 1 hour and 15 minutes than I g...
(Quote) Lorrie-735074 said:

Well the meeting went fantastic. I got more guidance/direction in 1 hour and 15 minutes than I got in a year of struggling in the former parish. I got good solid direction on this compulsion/addiction issue and now I know exactly what I need to do. I feel so at peace there. I am very sad about the former parish and since that priest I didn't get along with is leaving I will be eager to hear from the people I still have as friends how things are going. It's just so tainted for me I get panic attacks walking in there. The new parish is a newer church. We are having a special mass this coming Thurs celebrating 18 years of the parish and 14 years in the new building. The current priest is the only priest they have had and I really value his input. I also started reading a really cool book that has helped with confession issues: Explanation of Catholic Morals A Concise, Reasoned, and Popular Exposition of Catholic Morals by John H. (John Henry) Stapleton. I have it free on my Kindle. It goes into the differences between remorse, unfounded guilt, scrupilosity, regret, addiction/compulsion and sin. Very helpful. I feel like I'm up and running now. I don't plan on trying to be buddies with the priest, rather, I feel that since this is sorted out it was what was making my spiritual life miserable, anxiety-provoking, and confusing. Now I feel like I can move on and while I know I have serious forgiveness work to do re the other priest, I feel at least now I can begin to take positive steps forward. The self hatred is gone and I feel a sense of God's love that is a totally new experience for me.

Hugs to all,

Lorrie

--hide--



Lorrie, very interesting is the book you mentioned - and to receive spiritual direction is a blessing!

10/21/2012 new

Lorrie, I found that the book is in the public domain and is a free Kindle ebook.

( Explanation of Catholic Morals A Concise, Reasoned, and Popular Exposition of Catholic Morals by John H. (John Henry) Stapleton )

10/21/2012 new

(Quote) Sandra-871852 said: Lorrie, I found that the book is in the public domain and is a free Kindle ebook. (
(Quote) Sandra-871852 said:

Lorrie, I found that the book is in the public domain and is a free Kindle ebook.

( Explanation of Catholic Morals A Concise, Reasoned, and Popular Exposition of Catholic Morals by John H. (John Henry) Stapleton )

--hide--

Great Sandra, unfortunately here in Germany I cannot purchase that kindle edition for free. I will go for the book ...

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