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This room is dedicated to those who are facing the challenge of raising children without the support of a spouse. This is a place to share ideas and lend mutual support.

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Dear parents,

I am curious to know how your kids are allowed to use their savings account. Do you let them withdraw as they please? do you put some limits? and if so, based on what? My 14-year old has this idea of buying himself an iPad. eyepopping He's got the money but I think he doesn't really need one, he has already a laptop for school and an iPod for his music and other applications. I do strongly think that he should be saving for something more "important". I have told him that I won't let him do that and gave him my arguments, but he insists that it is his money. He has contributed to build his savings account, but I have done the majority of it. Should I let him withdraw his part? Should I avoid it?. As usual your contribution to this subject will be very much appreciated. biggrin

Thanks in advance.

06/26/2012 new

(Quote) Ivonne-91361 said: Dear parents, I am curious to know how your kids are allowed to use their savings account....
(Quote) Ivonne-91361 said:

Dear parents,

I am curious to know how your kids are allowed to use their savings account. Do you let them withdraw as they please? do you put some limits? and if so, based on what? My 14-year old has this idea of buying himself an iPad. He's got the money but I think he doesn't really need one, he has already a laptop for school and an iPod for his music and other applications. I do strongly think that he should be saving for something more "important". I have told him that I won't let him do that and gave him my arguments, but he insists that it is his money. He has contributed to build his savings account, but I have done the majority of it. Should I let him withdraw his part? Should I avoid it?. As usual your contribution to this subject will be very much appreciated.

Thanks in advance.

--hide--


Hmm.... What if you let him only use HALF of what is in there?


I grew up with a family of 11 who basically paid for their things. I know that, when they got birthday money, it went in the bank. HOnestly, I felt sorry for them then, and I still feel the same way. They didn't have a say in the matter. Now, if it was where they could spend 50%, that's a great lesson. But, I can't help but wonder if they resented each other for being in such a big family. I know I enjoyed spending some of my birthday and Christmas money on fun stuff. That's kind of the point. I mean, if they had gotten presents, I'm sure they wouldn't have had to sell the presents for money to put in the bank, right?

So, yeah, I say half is fair. :) And, I'll play devil's advocate. At least he's not ASSUMING you'll buy him the iPad like many kids today. There is such a sense of entitlement with many kids.

06/27/2012 new

Hi Tara, thanks for your input. It's hard to tell what to do, but I was thinking on what you mentioned and I think that I will put things in perspective for him. I'll make a chart with all what he can do with the money the Ipad represents. (Guitar lessons that he would like to have, the new acustic guitar he would love to have, that trip to Machu Picchu, the clothes or that new pair of soccer shoes, etc.) if he decides for the ipad the others are postpone...maybe indefinitely. I'll see what he decides.

Thanks again,


Cheers,

06/27/2012 new

(Quote) Ivonne-91361 said: Hi Tara, thanks for your input. It's hard to tell what to do, but I was thinking on what you ...
(Quote) Ivonne-91361 said:

Hi Tara, thanks for your input. It's hard to tell what to do, but I was thinking on what you mentioned and I think that I will put things in perspective for him. I'll make a chart with all what he can do with the money the Ipad represents. (Guitar lessons that he would like to have, the new acustic guitar he would love to have, that trip to Machu Picchu, the clothes or that new pair of soccer shoes, etc.) if he decides for the ipad the others are postpone...maybe indefinitely. I'll see what he decides.

Thanks again,


Cheers,

--hide--


Sure! I have worked with pre-teens, and I currently work with teens, plus, of my brother's 3 kids, one is 16 and one is 13. So, I'm around this a lot! lol Good luck!

06/27/2012 new
I did something a little unconventional with my children, but it worked. I gave them a two hundred dollar a month allowance during high school. Before you gasp, hear me out. One hundred dollars had to be put away and not touched--college money. The other hundred dollars had to be used for anything they wanted to do, clothes they wanted, hair cuts, sports, fees at school, school supplies, etc. I monitored the accounts. One hundred a month for discretionary money sounds like a lot, but in reality, high school sports are expensive. Dating is expensive. Clothes-shoes are expensive. My kids constantly complained and wanted more, but they learned to budget well and to prioritize. Every one of them got every penny of college paid for by scholarships for academics so they had a little nest egg. The military schools essentially give the kids an interest free loan so cars and setting up a home were no problem. My kids are established and flying at 20-22 depending on when they graduated from college.
06/27/2012 new

(Quote) Linda-756196 said: I did something a little unconventional with my children, but it worked. I gave them a two hundred dolla...
(Quote) Linda-756196 said: I did something a little unconventional with my children, but it worked. I gave them a two hundred dollar a month allowance during high school. Before you gasp, hear me out. One hundred dollars had to be put away and not touched--college money. The other hundred dollars had to be used for anything they wanted to do, clothes they wanted, hair cuts, sports, fees at school, school supplies, etc. I monitored the accounts. One hundred a month for discretionary money sounds like a lot, but in reality, high school sports are expensive. Dating is expensive. Clothes-shoes are expensive. My kids constantly complained and wanted more, but they learned to budget well and to prioritize. Every one of them got every penny of college paid for by scholarships for academics so they had a little nest egg. The military schools essentially give the kids an interest free loan so cars and setting up a home were no problem. My kids are established and flying at 20-22 depending on when they graduated from college.
--hide--

Linda, thank you! This is really unconventional, specially the way you split the money (yes I had my mouth wide opened hehe) but...hold on a minute. So you gave them the responsibility to pay for their expenses, and what happened if they couldn't make "month's end". Did they ask for more and you gave them more? I pay for all my son's expenses at school (sports, summer camps, school books and suppliers, uniforms and extras) but I don't give him a monthly allowence...I put the money directly in his account instead. Only once he withdrew some money.

The problem I have is that his friends wallets are always full. There is one that shows $100 bills on it when he buys something...almost all the time, latest cell phones, cars, etc...you name it...but I am sure that many of these teens do not get the money go to their heads...mind you they don't know better, for them having money in their hands its not a big deal, hence my son's complains on why he has to "suffer" to get what he wants.

Did it happen that one of your children decided not to use the money for sports, or summer camp or something else - in my case I am afraid that if I give him the decision he would prefer not to buy himself nice clothes or practice a sport, he might prefer to buy...well anything that starts with "i" (iPod, iPhone, iMac, iPad..etc)

Thanks again! I am tempted to do something like that...yes...maybe I will give it a try.


And good for your children. Congratulations!!!



06/27/2012 new

(Quote) Tara-539245 said: Sure! I have worked with pre-teens, and I currently work with teens, plus, of my brother's...
(Quote) Tara-539245 said:


Sure! I have worked with pre-teens, and I currently work with teens, plus, of my brother's 3 kids, one is 16 and one is 13. So, I'm around this a lot! lol Good luck!

--hide--


wow that's sounds like a lot of work! biggrin - thanks again Tara.

06/28/2012 new
(Quote) Ivonne-91361 said: Linda, thank you! This is really unconventional, specially the way you split the money (yes I had my ...
(Quote) Ivonne-91361 said:

Linda, thank you! This is really unconventional, specially the way you split the money (yes I had my mouth wide opened hehe) but...hold on a minute. So you gave them the responsibility to pay for their expenses, and what happened if they couldn't make "month's end". Did they ask for more and you gave them more? I pay for all my son's expenses at school (sports, summer camps, school books and suppliers, uniforms and extras) but I don't give him a monthly allowence...I put the money directly in his account instead. Only once he withdrew some money.

The problem I have is that his friends wallets are always full. There is one that shows $100 bills on it when he buys something...almost all the time, latest cell phones, cars, etc...you name it...but I am sure that many of these teens do not get the money go to their heads...mind you they don't know better, for them having money in their hands its not a big deal, hence my son's complains on why he has to "suffer" to get what he wants.

I never bailed my kids out moneywise. If they spent their money, then they needed to go to work mowing or babysitting for the neighbors. I forgot to mention, my kids were 4.4-4.5 students so I didn't let them have regular jobs during the school year. The lifeguarded in the summer when they were old enough (or babysat or did summer hire through the military)

Did it happen that one of your children decided not to use the money for sports, or summer camp or something else - in my case I am afraid that if I give him the decision he would prefer not to buy himself nice clothes or practice a sport, he might prefer to buy...well anything that starts with "i" (iPod, iPhone, iMac, iPad..etc)

Thanks again! I am tempted to do something like that...yes...maybe I will give it a try.


And good for yo. Congratulations!!!



--hide--
No, I never bailed my kids out ever. If they spent their money, then they had to find work babysitting or mowing lawns for the neighbors. I forgot to mention that I did not let my kids work during the school year. They were 4.4-4.5 students that did sports, sciuts, and church things. I let them work as lifeguards in the summer when they were old enough (babysitting or summer hire with the miilitary before that age), but most of my kids couldn't work in the summers at regular jobs until their senior year--they skipped a grade. What I like now is that my kids range from 20 to almost 30 and each of them is financially responsible, out of debt, and has a savings account. It must have worked.
07/01/2012 new

(Quote) Linda-756196 said: No, I never bailed my kids out ever. If they spent their money, then they had to find work babysitting o...
(Quote) Linda-756196 said: No, I never bailed my kids out ever. If they spent their money, then they had to find work babysitting or mowing lawns for the neighbors. I forgot to mention that I did not let my kids work during the school year. They were 4.4-4.5 students that did sports, sciuts, and church things. I let them work as lifeguards in the summer when they were old enough (babysitting or summer hire with the miilitary before that age), but most of my kids couldn't work in the summers at regular jobs until their senior year--they skipped a grade. What I like now is that my kids range from 20 to almost 30 and each of them is financially responsible, out of debt, and has a savings account. It must have worked.
--hide--


I do like your ideas. I grew up in a single parent home, for the most part, but my father did pay child support. We attended Catholic schools, but my mom never got us cars or paid car insurance. We could stay at home rent-free during college, but then we had to pay "room and board". We each graduated college, own homes, and have stable jobs. Also, we don't have any debt besides mortgages and cars, obviously; no school loans to pay off because we had scholarships. My aunt and uncle spoiled their 2 kids, and neither of them graduated from college or have a good work ethic. They are 25 and just now having to purchase their own vehicles and pay rent. They are still out doing the "bar scene" and throwing money away on alcohol. It's a shame.

I will admit I buy nice things.... Yes, I have those "i" things, too! lol But, I also use coupons, shop sales ads, and have NEVER had credit card debt. I also price-match and have no shame telling Target that I want my dollar back on something that dropped a dollar in price. lol It's my dollar! I'll buy an Icee! :) I was never given an allowance, but if I had, I'm sure I would've still bought nice things... I just would have had FEWER nice things. lol :) Some things are worth the cost, but on an allowance, I would've had to keep them much longer instead of replacing them whenever I wanted.

07/01/2012 new

(Quote) Linda-756196 said: No, I never bailed my kids out ever. If they spent their money, then they had to find work babysitting o...
(Quote) Linda-756196 said: No, I never bailed my kids out ever. If they spent their money, then they had to find work babysitting or mowing lawns for the neighbors. I forgot to mention that I did not let my kids work during the school year. They were 4.4-4.5 students that did sports, sciuts, and church things. I let them work as lifeguards in the summer when they were old enough (babysitting or summer hire with the miilitary before that age), but most of my kids couldn't work in the summers at regular jobs until their senior year--they skipped a grade. What I like now is that my kids range from 20 to almost 30 and each of them is financially responsible, out of debt, and has a savings account. It must have worked.
--hide--

Congratulations Linda. I am sure it wasn't easy but you succeeded and now your children are responsible young adults. What else can we ask for our children?? I am very greatful for all your great ideas. I will try to put them in practice before its too late. Thank you very much.

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