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Ok I just went to a wedding last week and another the week before and saw a few things. Things I never thought about before but now am wondering.

1. The bride walked herself down the aisle and didn't wear a veil. Granted she was married before (widowed) but if it's a first time bride does she have to wear a veil? does she have to wear a veil covering her face called a blusher? Does she have to have someone walking her down the aisle? As I understand it the bride walking with her dad started as a Protestant thing. Also, as an aside I think it is wonderful the ceremony doesn't include obey, though many churches are getting rid of it(as they should).

2. Another bride (first marriage)and her groom put flowers on the Virgin Mary. I understand this is common? My mom said she did it.

3. The second bride did the garter toss at the wedding. I never gave this much though but isn't it kind of sinful because it sort of implies certain things?

There's other things I was curious about but these are the ones upfront.
07/18/2012 new

1. Veils not required. There is some history involved, but it's been a LONG time since I have looked at it. There are some good websites that have that history. Being "given away" is also not a necessity. I was raised by my mother. She walked me down the aisle with a close male friend. My best childhood friend had both of her parents walk her down - that was after her mother sang Ave Maria and had us all in tears. It was just truly beautiful on all counts. Truth...let the flames fly, but obey was left in my vows, my choice. NO - I will not explain, debate or justify the issue. My choice and I would do the same again in the future.

2. Unsure of the flowers. We did not do it, and no one in my ex's extremely traditional family mentioned it ever. They would have. We didn't have unity candles either, but that is a beautiful thing.

3. Garter toss is what you're comfortable with. It does not have to be done. Sinful..maybe, but I really don't see anyone getting crazed about if it is done tastefully. Hmm...let me think about that some more. It's not usually done tastefully - lol.

Ask away...this is kind of fun. Giving me some things to think about as well!

07/18/2012 new
Thanks for that info because I've never experienced any of it. I didn't know obey was in the vows, maybe it depends on the branch? I've read that Catholic weddings the bride doesn't have her dad give her away, and they don't say "who gives her away". I don't know for sure though.
07/19/2012 new

(Quote) AnneMarie-641597 said: 3. Garter toss is what you're comfortable with. It does not have to be done. Sinful..mayb...
(Quote) AnneMarie-641597 said:

3. Garter toss is what you're comfortable with. It does not have to be done. Sinful..maybe, but I really don't see anyone getting crazed about if it is done tastefully. Hmm...let me think about that some more. It's not usually done tastefully - lol.

--hide--

I've seen some weddings where the bride wore the garter just above the ankle, so there was no rummaging under her dress. This was not bad.

07/19/2012 new

(Quote) Dawn-758914 said: Thanks for that info because I've never experienced any of it. I didn't know obey was in the vows...
(Quote) Dawn-758914 said: Thanks for that info because I've never experienced any of it. I didn't know obey was in the vows, maybe it depends on the branch? I've read that Catholic weddings the bride doesn't have her dad give her away, and they don't say "who gives her away". I don't know for sure though.
--hide--


Wow...digging up bones. My wedding was 21 years ago. I want to say we chose between a few sets of vows; I know for fact we chose our readings. And, no clue about what they said, that part was a blur! My only break with 'tradition' was not wearing white. Two reason, one, my daughter (4) was my flower girl, and two - white is simply not my color. I wore offwhite. Regardless of how accepted it may be for a first time bride to wear white, it speaks of hypocracy to me. Just my own thoughts and how it sat in my heart.

07/19/2012 new

(Quote) Jerry-74383 said: I've seen some weddings where the bride wore the garter just above the ankle, so ther...
(Quote) Jerry-74383 said:

I've seen some weddings where the bride wore the garter just above the ankle, so there was no rummaging under her dress. This was not bad.

--hide--


That would work and take out the lecher factor!! Thanks Jerry!

07/19/2012 new

1. I just came back from a friend's wedding (Catholic Match wedding, actually) and she did not wear a veil. I don't think they are required at all, although I would never dream of NOT wearing a veil!

2. Almost everyone wedding I've attended (15 of about 20) the bride and groom have placed flowers in front of a statue of Mary while the Ave Maria is sung after Communion. My favorite is when the flowers start out in front of a statue of St. Joseph. The couple go and pray there for a moment, and then take the flowers to a statue of Mary where they pray and consecrate their marriage to her. So beautiful! This is definitely happening at my wedding!

3. I don't know if there is anything particularly sinful about the garter toss (depending on how it is executed) but I personally would not include that as part of my reception. Some of my friends who were recently married surprised their guests at the reception when, instead of the garter toss, the groom washed his bride's feet. Um...a garter toss doesn't even come close to comparing to that!

07/19/2012 new

(Quote) Jenny-872030 said: 1. I just came back from a friend's wedding (Catholic Match wedding, actually) and she did no...
(Quote) Jenny-872030 said:

1. I just came back from a friend's wedding (Catholic Match wedding, actually) and she did not wear a veil. I don't think they are required at all, although I would never dream of NOT wearing a veil!

2. Almost everyone wedding I've attended (15 of about 20) the bride and groom have placed flowers in front of a statue of Mary while the Ave Maria is sung after Communion. My favorite is when the flowers start out in front of a statue of St. Joseph. The couple go and pray there for a moment, and then take the flowers to a statue of Mary where they pray and consecrate their marriage to her. So beautiful! This is definitely happening at my wedding!

3. I don't know if there is anything particularly sinful about the garter toss (depending on how it is executed) but I personally would not include that as part of my reception. Some of my friends who were recently married surprised their guests at the reception when, instead of the garter toss, the groom washed his bride's feet. Um...a garter toss doesn't even come close to comparing to that!

--hide--

Also, on the first question, I've seen brides walked down the aisle by a grandfather, father, both parents or by herself. I don't think there is any right or wrong way. I'm pretty traditional though, so it will probably be just dad and me. :)

07/19/2012 new

Alot of wedding traditions are not Catholic in this country. I prefer the bride and groom walking behind the priest together to be married. They are coming together and following the priest and their respective parents and bridesmaids and groomsmen. So the attendants go first, then grandparents, then parents, then the altar servers the priest and the couple. But this would be for a formal mass. The idea of the bride being "brought" to the groom is actually discouraged in the church but allowed for Americans out of tradition. However, they won't allow the priest to say "who brings this woman to be married" like in protestant services. Instead the priest says...."Do you come together to be married of your own free will?"

One thing they are getting rid of is the unity candle. I'm happy about this because I like my symbols to have a somewhat deeper meaning.....and how more united can you get than sharing the eucharist? Since Protestants don't have the eucharist, they have the unity candle. I don't like symbols that are overly sentimental. I suppose because I don't believe in love as being a warm and squishy feeling....it is much deeper. I once went to a wedding that played Disney's "A whole new world".....I thought to myself that if that song discribes what they believe marriage to be? They are in deep trouble. So many symbols today I see as coming from very shallow thoughts. And I think that reflects the relationships within the family. I don't like people being put on display, I don't like emotions being put on display. I know that the kiss in America is totally traditional. But my parents didn't do it and I won't. The feelings shared between my spouse and I should not be put on display so everyone can clap. Also the Mass is meant to be shared with everyone.....I feel the kiss is a private moment....and in a wedding....it is a public ceremony meant to be shared. I suppose this is just me.


About giving the bouquet to Mary. I think this is a German tradition. It is very common around here. I plan to do that. And it's an important gift to give Mary. Because brides love their bouquet, brides often keep their bouquet. So to give it up in thanks to Mary truly is a beautiful sacrifice.

07/19/2012 new

Alot of the traditions have meanings, but are different for each culture. The veil for the bride has been switched to represent the modesty and purity of Mary. The flowers have ALWAYS meant that.

People used to be married in black....black used to be the colour for festivals. Until Queen Victoria. Now white is seen as the celebratory colours. So people didn't really wear white because it was connected with funerals.

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