My first husband and I did not have a good marriage, so let me get that out of the way.. But we had three young kids 9, 6 and 5. He decided to get involved with the SIL of one of his co-workers and left us (not saying the marriage wouldn't have ended anyway) She made a lot of money as an upper level computer programmer and drove a sports car.. They married 4mos after our divorce was final and bought a house in a very nice area north of Indy. After their marriage ended 16 years later, he told our kids that the marriage had been very unhappy and he had, in fact, been sleeping in the guest room for 5 years.. You know what he lamented the most? The loss of his fancy address and the sporty car.. He left with the mini-van.. And because he was able to get a settlement from her and her 240K (401K) and a share of the house, he could buy a manufactured home in a mobile home community. Our kids were by now, adults, and they were flabbergasted that he would stay in a marriage where he was verbally abused just to keep his fancy address.. A couple of times when my daughter was showing sympathy for Dad's plight, I would simply say "He got what he wanted". She would say.."MOMMMMM"