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This room is for supportive and informative discussion about divorce and/or the annulment process. All posters must have been previously divorced or annulled.

Saint Eugene De Mazenod is patron of dysfunctional families & Saint Fabiola obtained a divorce from her first husband prior to devoting her life to charitable works.
Learn More: Saint Eugene De Mazenod and Saint Fabiola

Aug 1st 2012 new

(Quote) David-364112 said: I completed my 30+ page application only to learn the diocese now wants it all on a new 9-page fo...
(Quote) David-364112 said:

I completed my 30+ page application only to learn the diocese now wants it all on a new 9-page form instead. Trying to make myself get started, especially because I've met someone who I think might make the perfect wife for me.

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Ouch and ouch and ouch. Sorry!! I am really happy that you've found someone special. heart

Aug 1st 2012 new

(Quote) AnneMarie-641597 said: Somehow, this post just opens up all sorts of questions. I do understand the BE minis...
(Quote) AnneMarie-641597 said:



Somehow, this post just opens up all sorts of questions. I do understand the BE ministry feeling like a conflict. Retreat weekends complete suck me dry. Something I need to give some thought to, as well.

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It wasn't that BE was a conflict. Without having seen the annulment questions, I understood they would involve deep introspection and emotional exposition. This is what I was already doing in BE, so I sort of felt that I HAD done the annulment work already & I don't like to repeat myself! When I got over that part of myself, and was pushed, I sat down with the actual questions, and saw that I had pretty much answered them through my BE work. It became much easier to deal with. Of course, I was feeling resentment toward my ex for guilting me into doing it. I knew I wanted to do it, but I wanted to on my own terms & choice, ya know? So my letting his attitude get in my way just complicated the process. Anyway, that was 7 or more years ago.....

David, that is good news for you--a woman you love!

Aug 2nd 2012 new

Um...yeah. I have witnesses, marriage licenses, etcetera. The advocate was helping me review things. So I say I don't have the $300 filing fee. Do I really not have that $300 filing fee? Well, if I used the payment plan I could have it easily.

I also figure if I'm not available I don't have to worry about being rejected. Not being able to scrape up that extra $300 is a really convenient excuse.

Aug 2nd 2012 new

(Quote) Katherine-868943 said: Um...yeah. I have witnesses, marriage licenses, etcetera. The advocate was helping me review ...
(Quote) Katherine-868943 said:

Um...yeah. I have witnesses, marriage licenses, etcetera. The advocate was helping me review things. So I say I don't have the $300 filing fee. Do I really not have that $300 filing fee? Well, if I used the payment plan I could have it easily.

I also figure if I'm not available I don't have to worry about being rejected. Not being able to scrape up that extra $300 is a really convenient excuse.

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Oh, praise God, I am not alone. Sad, my witnesses...are my exhusband's family members, and probably an affidavit from the priest who married us. I don't think he's forgotten the woman who came to him and asked him NOT to allow her brother to marry??? It's so darn ugly reliving all of it. Thank you for sharing! heart

Aug 2nd 2012 new

(Quote) AnneMarie-641597 said: Since coming here, I realized that I have been dragging my feet in finalizing my annulment do...
(Quote) AnneMarie-641597 said:

Since coming here, I realized that I have been dragging my feet in finalizing my annulment documents. I have had one paragraph to type up for almost a year and I've simply sat on it. I admit, now, that it is simply fear. If I am not available for dating, then I can avoid the chances of making another mistake with my life. The second reason came up in another post recently, and that is abject fear of getting married again while I am still considered fertile. Yes, there are multiple reasons this scares me. I am wrong in both of these suppositions. I do know that I can not be fully open to whatever plans God has for me without taking the final steps. I have made an appointment with my tribunal rep to turn in the final documentation.

I am curious though. I can't possibly be the only person who stalled for any number of reasons. Anyone else??

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It took me about 4-5 years before I submitted my paperwork.My reason was mainly that I don't trust these out of control rumber stamping liberal Tribunals! At least there weren't any lay people on the Tribunal that rendered a judgement in my case. Even Pope Paul ll (who I consider progressive) and Pope Benedict lamented the fact that so many anullments are granted in the USA.I spoke to a retired traditional Judge/Priest who was formerly on a Tribunal for 14 years.He told me my marriage was not valid ,so I proceded through the normal channels.Having said all of that,you should render your paperwork and go for it.There is no culpability of sin on your conscience if the declaration of nullity is bad.Those on the tribunal will have to answer to God for the judgement they render.Just be honest,and trust God.Pray much too. wink

Aug 2nd 2012 new

(Quote) Bernard-2709 said: It took me about 4-5 years before I submitted my paperwork.My reason was mainly that I don't ...
(Quote) Bernard-2709 said:

It took me about 4-5 years before I submitted my paperwork.My reason was mainly that I don't trust these out of control rumber stamping liberal Tribunals! At least there weren't any lay people on the Tribunal that rendered a judgement in my case. Even Pope Paul ll (who I consider progressive) and Pope Benedict lamented the fact that so many anullments are granted in the USA.I spoke to a retired traditional Judge/Priest who was formerly on a Tribunal for 14 years.He told me my marriage was not valid ,so I proceded through the normal channels.Having said all of that,you should render your paperwork and go for it.There is no culpability of sin on your conscience if the declaration of nullity is bad.Those on the tribunal will have to answer to God for the judgement they render.Just be honest,and trust God.Pray much too.

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Honesty is the easy part. Dragging everything out of the closet after roughly 15 years feels someone is beating me with a stick. I am not worried about a rubber stamp. I am also not worried that my grounds are not valid. I have been told by at least four priests, and our tribunal rep/former pastoral associate has reinforced that there are multiple grounds. It's humiliating to admit that I was so naive and foolish. It's shameful that I waited so many years with it hanging over my head. I'm getting there though. Thank you. heart

Aug 2nd 2012 new

(Quote) AnneMarie-641597 said: Honesty is the easy part. Dragging everything out of the closet after roughly 15 year...
(Quote) AnneMarie-641597 said:



Honesty is the easy part. Dragging everything out of the closet after roughly 15 years feels someone is beating me with a stick. I am not worried about a rubber stamp. I am also not worried that my grounds are not valid. I have been told by at least four priests, and our tribunal rep/former pastoral associate has reinforced that there are multiple grounds. It's humiliating to admit that I was so naive and foolish. It's shameful that I waited so many years with it hanging over my head. I'm getting there though. Thank you.

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I understand.It's the whole failure of a marriage,especially when children are involved.It's been over 15 years and I still feel the pain.It is a loss,just like the loss of a loved one.It does get easier with time however.Don't let it hold you back.The healing starts after you render the paperwork.So start healing!

Aug 2nd 2012 new

(Quote) David-364112 said: I completed my 30+ page application only to learn the diocese now wants it all on a new 9-page fo...
(Quote) David-364112 said:

I completed my 30+ page application only to learn the diocese now wants it all on a new 9-page form instead. Trying to make myself get started, especially because I've met someone who I think might make the perfect wife for me.

--hide--

smile That is wonderful David!

Aug 2nd 2012 new

(Quote) Katherine-868943 said: Um...yeah. I have witnesses, marriage licenses, etcetera. The advocate was helping me review ...
(Quote) Katherine-868943 said:

Um...yeah. I have witnesses, marriage licenses, etcetera. The advocate was helping me review things. So I say I don't have the $300 filing fee. Do I really not have that $300 filing fee? Well, if I used the payment plan I could have it easily.

I also figure if I'm not available I don't have to worry about being rejected. Not being able to scrape up that extra $300 is a really convenient excuse.

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The filing fee here is over $600. I wonder why it varies from state to state..?

Aug 2nd 2012 new

(Quote) Deborah-550454 said:The filing fee here is over $600. I wonder why it varies from state to state..?
(Quote) Deborah-550454 said:

The filing fee here is over $600. I wonder why it varies from state to state..?

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That's about the same as I paid in Newark, NJ in the mid 90's. I was told that it really only covered clerical fees and paid for the offices and things like that. Knowing what office space costs in Newark, it seemed like a bargain.

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