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This room is dedicated to those who are facing the challenge of raising children without the support of a spouse. This is a place to share ideas and lend mutual support.

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Hi Catholic Match friends!

I have a question about dealing with toddlers -- I would gladly welcome any and all opinions or tidbits of advice you have to give me!!


I am a pediatric nurse, and I currently work in home health. My primary patient is a 3 year old boy who really and truly is the sweetest, most beautiful boy, especially considering all that he's been through. However, he is still 3, and he is at the height of his defiant stage. Everything is a battle, and lately he's also taken to hitting and punching when he doesn't get his way. Time outs don't work for him, he runs away and throws things and is constantly being put back in time out. I know I should be consistent with my consequences for his actions, but if that's the case, then he's in time out all day.


He also is one of 6 children who are constantly together, and the oldest is 7 and is a bully -- especially to my little one. I know that this is an exacerbating factor, and when they are separate, things normally go smoothly. However, I am not able to separate them all the time, and if they are never together my patient will never learn the good behaviors we're trying to teach him.


And the last factor is that he's still a foster child. So even his parents cannot do anything other than "talking to him" and time outs.



Do any of you with experience with this type of disciplinary problem have any suggestions or ideas of methods I could use to reinforce good behavior and to "punish" his bad behaviors?


I am at my wits end! wide eyed


THANK YOU!!

Aug 17th 2012 new

(Quote) Sarah-799098 said: Hi Catholic Match friends! I have a question about dealing with toddlers -- I would gladly...
(Quote) Sarah-799098 said:

Hi Catholic Match friends!

I have a question about dealing with toddlers -- I would gladly welcome any and all opinions or tidbits of advice you have to give me!!


I am a pediatric nurse, and I currently work in home health. My primary patient is a 3 year old boy who really and truly is the sweetest, most beautiful boy, especially considering all that he's been through. However, he is still 3, and he is at the height of his defiant stage. Everything is a battle, and lately he's also taken to hitting and punching when he doesn't get his way. Time outs don't work for him, he runs away and throws things and is constantly being put back in time out. I know I should be consistent with my consequences for his actions, but if that's the case, then he's in time out all day.


He also is one of 6 children who are constantly together, and the oldest is 7 and is a bully -- especially to my little one. I know that this is an exacerbating factor, and when they are separate, things normally go smoothly. However, I am not able to separate them all the time, and if they are never together my patient will never learn the good behaviors we're trying to teach him.


And the last factor is that he's still a foster child. So even his parents cannot do anything other than "talking to him" and time outs.



Do any of you with experience with this type of disciplinary problem have any suggestions or ideas of methods I could use to reinforce good behavior and to "punish" his bad behaviors?


I am at my wits end!


THANK YOU!!

--hide--


Here's a few of my two cents 1) The seven year old needs to be dealt with, period. The three year old must learn that the seven year old's behavior is not acceptable. 2) I've never seen time outs work well (I only have one child), but you can restrict the three year from doing what he wants to do, his toys, his t.v. shows, etc. 3) I think that meeting his basic human needs is the first priority. He is probably tired, hungary, or has other needs. He needs a nap! 4) I'm not familiar with foster care's criteria or large families. When my daughter was three, she was in a Christian pre-school. Some of these problems may go away soon, because school will start, and the older kids will be in school part of the day. In FL, five year olds now go to school (which I approve). I'm not a big fan of home schooling, so, if that's the case with this family, GOOD LUCK!!

Three year olds are VERY energetic, and need to be worn out. Let him run himself out until he falls asleep! laughing

Aug 17th 2012 new

Oops, I totally meant to post this in one of the other rooms..... definitely does NOT pertain to Catholic single living! LOL

Aug 17th 2012 new

(Quote) Sarah-799098 said: Oops, I totally meant to post this in one of the other rooms..... definitely does NOT pertain to ...
(Quote) Sarah-799098 said:

Oops, I totally meant to post this in one of the other rooms..... definitely does NOT pertain to Catholic single living! LOL

--hide--



Donna, Jerry, or Admin can move the thread. Send in a Help Ticket! rose

Aug 17th 2012 new

pick your battles carefully. don't sweat the small stuff. let him know ytou really like him and he'll relax. a routine also helps for children that age. transitions are always rough.

Aug 17th 2012 new

Thanks, Kathy!


I have been working with the 7 year old's nurses as well to better discipline him. But it's a difficult situation, all 6 kids are adopted and being cared for by nurses almost 24/7, so disciplining them is our responsibility which can be very tough, as I'm sure you can imagine.

And he is a very, very energetic boy. I wish I had his energy! I'd be going for days! LOL

Aug 17th 2012 new

(Quote) Sarah-799098 said: Hi Catholic Match friends! I have a question about dealing with toddlers -- I would gladly...
(Quote) Sarah-799098 said:

Hi Catholic Match friends!

I have a question about dealing with toddlers -- I would gladly welcome any and all opinions or tidbits of advice you have to give me!!


I am a pediatric nurse, and I currently work in home health. My primary patient is a 3 year old boy who really and truly is the sweetest, most beautiful boy, especially considering all that he's been through. However, he is still 3, and he is at the height of his defiant stage. Everything is a battle, and lately he's also taken to hitting and punching when he doesn't get his way. Time outs don't work for him, he runs away and throws things and is constantly being put back in time out. I know I should be consistent with my consequences for his actions, but if that's the case, then he's in time out all day.


He also is one of 6 children who are constantly together, and the oldest is 7 and is a bully -- especially to my little one. I know that this is an exacerbating factor, and when they are separate, things normally go smoothly. However, I am not able to separate them all the time, and if they are never together my patient will never learn the good behaviors we're trying to teach him.


And the last factor is that he's still a foster child. So even his parents cannot do anything other than "talking to him" and time outs.



Do any of you with experience with this type of disciplinary problem have any suggestions or ideas of methods I could use to reinforce good behavior and to "punish" his bad behaviors?


I am at my wits end!


THANK YOU!!

--hide--

Hi Sarah,

I wish I had some words of wisdom for you. I've never been in or have known anyone in foster care. It sounds like a very difficult situation. I agree that the oldest bully isn't helping the situation and your 3yo would definitely benefit from being removed from the situation all together, but since that doesn't sound like it's a possibility, all I can say is just keep being patient; continue disciplining him the way you have been. Consistency is important; but also add some more hugs & love because it sounds like he can use more of that being in the situation he is in and maybe he doesn't get enough of that. I will pray for you, that God gives you the guidance you need & I will pray for the young boy as well.

Patti

Aug 17th 2012 new

(Quote) David-364112 said: pick your battles carefully. don't sweat the small stuff. let him know ytou really like him a...
(Quote) David-364112 said:

pick your battles carefully. don't sweat the small stuff. let him know ytou really like him and he'll relax. a routine also helps for children that age. transitions are always rough.

--hide--

I wish picking my battles was easier! LOL I am also a rather stubborn person and am having to learn which issues are best to deal with. Like I said, he's normally a sweet little boy! It's just when he gets mad that the world seems to fall apart.

Aug 17th 2012 new

(Quote) Patricia-755756 said: Hi Sarah, I wish I had some words of wisdom for you. I've never been in or...
(Quote) Patricia-755756 said:

Hi Sarah,

I wish I had some words of wisdom for you. I've never been in or have known anyone in foster care. It sounds like a very difficult situation. I agree that the oldest bully isn't helping the situation and your 3yo would definitely benefit from being removed from the situation all together, but since that doesn't sound like it's a possibility, all I can say is just keep being patient; continue disciplining him the way you have been. Consistency is important; but also add some more hugs & love because it sounds like he can use more of that being in the situation he is in and maybe he doesn't get enough of that. I will pray for you, that God gives you the guidance you need & I will pray for the young boy as well.

Patti

--hide--

Thank you so much! Prayers make such a huge difference!!

Aug 17th 2012 new

Never give affection, hugs, etc. when the child is acting up only when they calm down. Until them talk firmly and calmly about what needs to stop and the proper behavior. Of course, distraction often works best with a 3 year old. Also having play dates with a child that is slightly older and has good social skills for him to learn from is helpful (as often as possible if even for an hour).

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