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This room is dedicated to those who are facing the challenge of raising children without the support of a spouse. This is a place to share ideas and lend mutual support.

Saint Rita is known to be a patroness for abused wives and mourning women.
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Are they interested or not?

Aug 25th 2012 new

First off I am a single mother, I work part-time, and I am also going to college full-time and 1/2. I met a man on here who seemed to be interested in me and our first "date" (meeting), was wonderful. We went to Mass at the beginning and spent all day together and at the end of the "date" neither of us seemed to want to leave one another's company. After that we continue to email one another but he will take anywhere from a week to respond to a month (I know every one the month seems obvious, that he isn't interested). I also have taken into consideration that he is VERY busy like me working full-time and going to college (minus the child). I just think that it is common courtesy to respond back within a reasonable time and if he were truly interested I don't think that it would be that difficult as he could just simple text me or something... I know with today's technologies causing people these days to be rather impatient so I try not to be and I also give him the benefit of the doubt, but here is my question Q.) When is it time to realize that he is just not interested and that maybe our date might not have been as good as I thought? Q2.) What is "proper" etiquette on the time frame of returning a message?


I do want nothing more than to be married and have a father for my daughter, but at the same time I am willing to wait for who God has created for me. I just want to know preferably from a man's perspective how do we know if they are truly interested or if it is something else?

At one point I did confront the man on this, but I don't want to again because I don't want to seem desperate or needy. And if there are any suggestions on how to address this please let me know...

p.s. He is not the first one to do this either with returning messages, just the only one I have went on a "date" with.

Thank you for your in put as well and may God Bless you and your journey.

Aug 25th 2012 new
Hi Ashley,

I am sorry that this is happening to You. It sounds to me like he is pushing boundaries, to see what he can get away with. Maybe if You just cease contact with him as he seems to have more pressing priorities than a relationship, it may save You heartache down the road.

A few days in my opinion is common courtacy on returning messages.
Aug 25th 2012 new

Bless you, Ashley.

You're very blessed to do what you're able to do - studying, working and taking care of a baby!

I feel the guy isn't interested, just carry on with what you do and keep your main focus on HIM.

I will pray for you :)

Aug 25th 2012 new

Thanks everyone for taking the time to biggrin respond and for your prayers. God Bless

Aug 26th 2012 new

Professionally I always return calls within 24 hours. It seems only polite to return personally phone calls with in that same amount of time.

Although lots of guys seem to not feel the same way. I have found it best to just focus on what you are doing and not worry about what he is or isn't doing.

You never know what might be going on in his mind. Men think way more then they confess too!!!!! eyepopping

I imagine dating someone with a child is intimidating.........I have 3 laughing laughing laughing

Aug 26th 2012 new

(Quote) Ashley-855054 said: First off I am a single mother, I work part-time, and I am also goin...
(Quote) Ashley-855054 said:

First off I am a single mother, I work part-time, and I am also going to college full-time and 1/2. I met a man on here who seemed to be interested in me and our first "date" (meeting), was wonderful. We went to Mass at the beginning and spent all day together and at the end of the "date" neither of us seemed to want to leave one another's company. After that we continue to email one another but he will take anywhere from a week to respond to a month (I know every one the month seems obvious, that he isn't interested). I also have taken into consideration that he is VERY busy like me working full-time and going to college (minus the child). I just think that it is common courtesy to respond back within a reasonable time and if he were truly interested I don't think that it would be that difficult as he could just simple text me or something... I know with today's technologies causing people these days to be rather impatient so I try not to be and I also give him the benefit of the doubt, but here is my question Q.) When is it time to realize that he is just not interested and that maybe our date might not have been as good as I thought? Q2.) What is "proper" etiquette on the time frame of returning a message?


I do want nothing more than to be married and have a father for my daughter, but at the same time I am willing to wait for who God has created for me. I just want to know preferably from a man's perspective how do we know if they are truly interested or if it is something else?

At one point I did confront the man on this, but I don't want to again because I don't want to seem desperate or needy. And if there are any suggestions on how to address this please let me know...

p.s. He is not the first one to do this either with returning messages, just the only one I have went on a "date" with.

Thank you for your in put as well and may God Bless you and your journey.

--hide--
First of all, we welcome you to the CM forums. Glad you found them. It's a good place to learn, to share, and have a few laughs occasionally (plus there's more).

Your problem is a common one voiced by many.

There are so many possibilities, it's difficult to pin down the problem. Allowing for the benefit of the doubt, at least for awhile, is in order because there could be some extraordinary circumstances that arise in a person's life.

I think a common problem is that people (da guys) might be riding the fence. They're simply not sure if they should continue or not. Many times there's the excitement of something new in one's life, only to have that excitement wear off soon. With people, reality can set it in after that initial exhiliration. Dating might seem fine to many, but when it comes to considering a serious relationship which might lead to marriage, the thoughts can be overwhelming.

In your case, you have a little one in the picture. It was the right choice -- don't ever doubt that. But....imagine a young man coming along who is just settling down himself (career, home, etc) and realizing there's more than he bargained for. To be blunt, some men aren't willing or able to take on a ready made family. Another problem is that your time might be limited and a person might fear he is interfering, or that you won't have sufficient time to devote to a relationship.

Translation: Unless there are extenuating circumstances, he's not the right one for you. Don't let that discourage you because there are young men out there who can handle the situation quite well. As for dating, it's a time for discernment -- you can't just put two people together at random and expect a solid marriage will happen. It's trial and error -- both on your part and his. Expect and allow for this.

You might be praying for the right person to come along in the near future, but that could interupt your present situation. Given that you already have a child, you want to do what you can to build a solid future -- even (and especially) if you have to go it alone. You didn't state how much longer your education will take, but if you still have at least 2 years or so, you might find juggling all of this difficult, as if it wasn't already that way.

If this particular person of interest isn't responding and there's nothing unusual going on in his life to prevent him from contacting you, then you might actually be thankful you didn't encourage a relationship for which he might not be truly prepared to handle, or fully interested. What's happening to you now with this fellow might seem negative, but it's definitely for a reason (which we can't understand or know). The Good Lord will have answer for you -- in time.

Have a blessed Sunday. biggrin

Aug 26th 2012 new

(Quote) Ashley-855054 said: First off I am a single mother, I work part-time, and I am also goin...
(Quote) Ashley-855054 said:

First off I am a single mother, I work part-time, and I am also going to college full-time and 1/2. I met a man on here who seemed to be interested

--hide--


Hi Ashley! I've been there a few times -- pretty recently, in fact -- and I've learned that if I have to ask the question, "Is he interested"? then he isn't. A man who truly wants to be with a woman will do whatever it takes to make it happen. It's hard to wait for the right one, though, I know. Hang in there and keep praying! hug

Aug 26th 2012 new

Well said Leslie.

Aug 27th 2012 new

(Quote) Cherie-117432 said: Well said Leslie.
(Quote) Cherie-117432 said:

Well said Leslie.

--hide--
Greetings, Cherie -- and welcome to the CM forums. I'm not sure if you've checked them out before, but it's a good place to get acquainted with some fine CM members. There's a wide variety of topics -- something for everyday living; others for eternal life. Add humor, and politics and you have a well rounded group of subjects.

Join in often!!! biggrin

Aug 27th 2012 new

I did just figuire this forum out. I think it is great and I look forward to adding to others posts as well.
Thanks wave

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