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A place to learn, mingle, and share

This room is for supportive and informative discussion about divorce and/or the annulment process. All posters must have been previously divorced or annulled.

Saint Eugene De Mazenod is patron of dysfunctional families & Saint Fabiola obtained a divorce from her first husband prior to devoting her life to charitable works.
Learn More: Saint Eugene De Mazenod and Saint Fabiola

Aug 20th 2012 new

resentment is taking posion and expecting the other person to die

Possibly one of my most favorite quotes of all time!!! Thanks David!! heart

Aug 20th 2012 new

Excellent and amazing comments. I appreciate everyone's sharing because as hard as it can be, forgiveness is the path to holiness and peace.

God bless,

Lorrie

Aug 21st 2012 new
I agree that even the thought of revenge is sooooo self destructive. I have too entertained these thoughts, and tried hard to ask myself "what would Jesus do?".

There will always be those whose life will become an obsession fueled revenge, to the point of their own detrimation. Pray for them, forgive them, for they don't know what they do. Humility is my favourite virtue, but charity is the greatest as it encompasses all virtues, but to fully appreciate charity, one must fully understand and practice....
Aug 27th 2012 new

Some years ago, I had been seriously injured unjustly. It really hurt! It involved a friend/woman and my brother, though not as you might imagine. I refrained from revenge but prayed things would change. It didn't. Nothing changed and that made the injury all the more painful. For years I yearned for justice, for sorrow, for making things right. Nothing. I prayed well over 1000 times that "I forgive" practicing for the day when I would say it to their faces. 7x70 was not enough for what happened to me. I took a spiritual Director for other reasons and she told me a few things that worked wonders. Here they are:

Bitterness, rancor, injustice, unrepentance, selfishness, etc. all harm the soul and often the souls of innocents needlessly Neither party is probably capable of understanding or appreciating the harm they have done to you. They are INCAPABLE! Injustice obliges justice and it always comes at some point - some of it will require its toll on you as well. But with God, Mercy comes first. Place your forgiveness in the hands of God, truly let it go and stay there. He will administer your forgivenes and His own perfectly, immediately when the time comes (ancillary God always forgives a contrite heart, mankind sometimes, nature ignores contrition) You suffered a grave injustice, but God alone can administer justice perfectly. You are not God. He alone can appreciate the actual depth of the actual injustice to you as opposed to unhealthy ego centric issues Enjoy frequent confession, prayer and Holy Communion Go before Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament and pour out your heart, the anger, the bitterness, the injustice, the harm, the past, and the present. Stay there doing this, coming back if necssary, until you are totally spent (it took me months) then - as I can attest - when the soul and heart and mind are spent fully, God speaks to the heart like a gentle breeze, a healing hand on a grevious wound, a true lover beyond any human's capacity

God gave me tremendous peace where none could be found before. I felt His presence often and since, but for years not until I had poured out my heart.


We have an AWESOME God!

Aug 27th 2012 new

Forgot one important point - the injustice may be even more serious than even you know. Forgiving it in person without true repentance may actually further harm.

Aug 27th 2012 new

Revenge always necessitates another round of revenge. It's a never-ending cycle.


In Sicily, they say: "Whoever plots revenge must first dig two graves."

Aug 27th 2012 new
John and David,

Amazing insight, thank You both.
Aug 27th 2012 new

(Quote) David-364112 said: Revenge always necessitates another round of revenge. It's a never-ending cycle. I...
(Quote) David-364112 said:

Revenge always necessitates another round of revenge. It's a never-ending cycle.


In Sicily, they say: "Whoever plots revenge must first dig two graves."

--hide--

Excellent! I love it.

Aug 27th 2012 new

(Quote) John-875120 said: Some years ago, I had been seriously injured unjustly. It really hurt! It involved a friend/woman ...
(Quote) John-875120 said:

Some years ago, I had been seriously injured unjustly. It really hurt! It involved a friend/woman and my brother, though not as you might imagine. I refrained from revenge but prayed things would change. It didn't. Nothing changed and that made the injury all the more painful. For years I yearned for justice, for sorrow, for making things right. Nothing. I prayed well over 1000 times that "I forgive" practicing for the day when I would say it to their faces. 7x70 was not enough for what happened to me. I took a spiritual Director for other reasons and she told me a few things that worked wonders. Here they are:

Bitterness, rancor, injustice, unrepentance, selfishness, etc. all harm the soul and often the souls of innocents needlessly Neither party is probably capable of understanding or appreciating the harm they have done to you. They are INCAPABLE! Injustice obliges justice and it always comes at some point - some of it will require its toll on you as well. But with God, Mercy comes first. Place your forgiveness in the hands of God, truly let it go and stay there. He will administer your forgivenes and His own perfectly, immediately when the time comes (ancillary God always forgives a contrite heart, mankind sometimes, nature ignores contrition) You suffered a grave injustice, but God alone can administer justice perfectly. You are not God. He alone can appreciate the actual depth of the actual injustice to you as opposed to unhealthy ego centric issues Enjoy frequent confession, prayer and Holy Communion Go before Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament and pour out your heart, the anger, the bitterness, the injustice, the harm, the past, and the present. Stay there doing this, coming back if necssary, until you are totally spent (it took me months) then - as I can attest - when the soul and heart and mind are spent fully, God speaks to the heart like a gentle breeze, a healing hand on a grevious wound, a true lover beyond any human's capacity

God gave me tremendous peace where none could be found before. I felt His presence often and since, but for years not until I had poured out my heart.


We have an AWESOME God!

--hide--

Amen Amen Amen!!

Thank you for sharing :-)

Aug 27th 2012 new

(Quote) John-875120 said: Some years ago, I had been seriously injured unjustly. It really hurt! It involved a friend/woman ...
(Quote) John-875120 said:

Some years ago, I had been seriously injured unjustly. It really hurt! It involved a friend/woman and my brother, though not as you might imagine. I refrained from revenge but prayed things would change. It didn't. Nothing changed and that made the injury all the more painful. For years I yearned for justice, for sorrow, for making things right. Nothing. I prayed well over 1000 times that "I forgive" practicing for the day when I would say it to their faces. 7x70 was not enough for what happened to me. I took a spiritual Director for other reasons and she told me a few things that worked wonders. Here they are:

Bitterness, rancor, injustice, unrepentance, selfishness, etc. all harm the soul and often the souls of innocents needlessly Neither party is probably capable of understanding or appreciating the harm they have done to you. They are INCAPABLE! Injustice obliges justice and it always comes at some point - some of it will require its toll on you as well. But with God, Mercy comes first. Place your forgiveness in the hands of God, truly let it go and stay there. He will administer your forgivenes and His own perfectly, immediately when the time comes (ancillary God always forgives a contrite heart, mankind sometimes, nature ignores contrition) You suffered a grave injustice, but God alone can administer justice perfectly. You are not God. He alone can appreciate the actual depth of the actual injustice to you as opposed to unhealthy ego centric issues Enjoy frequent confession, prayer and Holy Communion Go before Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament and pour out your heart, the anger, the bitterness, the injustice, the harm, the past, and the present. Stay there doing this, coming back if necssary, until you are totally spent (it took me months) then - as I can attest - when the soul and heart and mind are spent fully, God speaks to the heart like a gentle breeze, a healing hand on a grevious wound, a true lover beyond any human's capacity

God gave me tremendous peace where none could be found before. I felt His presence often and since, but for years not until I had poured out my heart.


We have an AWESOME God!

--hide--

Amen Amen Amen!!

Thank you for sharing :-)

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