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A place to learn, mingle, and share

This room is dedicated to those who are facing the challenge of raising children without the support of a spouse. This is a place to share ideas and lend mutual support.

Saint Rita is known to be a patroness for abused wives and mourning women.
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Sep 23rd 2012 new

(Quote) Andrea-850967 said: Very well David! The "promised" consequences (for example on a not told lie w...
(Quote) Andrea-850967 said:

Very well David! The "promised" consequences (for example on a not told lie which one find out later), or also on promises made for whatever reason, is most important to follow up on.

--hide--


not sure i understand you.


if my kids lie i will have a talkk with them about it and whatever consequence i choose will fit the severity of the misdeed. i'm not a lax or lenient parent, but neither am i a rabid disciplinarian.

the goal here is to get them to trust me so they will confide in me rather than in someone who may give them bad or self-interested advice. the other goal is to make sure that my children are absolutely certain that their parents love them unconditionally - no matter what.


several times as a child, i was beaten bloody for lying. i was called names and told things that are painful to remember even decades later. so i vowed never to lift a hand to my kids or to say the things which were said to me in anger. if they have a wrathful father, what will they think of God who is their Heavenly Father?



Sep 23rd 2012 new

(Quote) David-364112 said: not sure i understand you. if my kids lie i will have a talkk with them a...
(Quote) David-364112 said:


not sure i understand you.


if my kids lie i will have a talkk with them about it and whatever consequence i choose will fit the severity of the misdeed. i'm not a lax or lenient parent, but neither am i a rabid disciplinarian.

the goal here is to get them to trust me so they will confide in me rather than in someone who may give them bad or self-interested advice. the other goal is to make sure that my children are absolutely certain that their parents love them unconditionally - no matter what.


several times as a child, i was beaten bloody for lying. i was called names and told things that are painful to remember even decades later. so i vowed never to lift a hand to my kids or to say the things which were said to me in anger. if they have a wrathful father, what will they think of God who is their Heavenly Father?

--hide--

I am really sorry David that you had to experience this in your young days, and you did good to decide to never lift your hands against your children. I hope you were able to forgive that person by heart who did that to you. God will love you alone for those decisions!

What I meant by saying to follow up on the “promised” consequences is, that out of LOVE to the children you have to follow up on this, and that they see you mean what you say. My staring point is acting out of a loving heart not cruelty.

I don’t know If I explained myself better now …?

Sep 23rd 2012 new

Hi Kat, I am not a parent... Keep it up! You are Blessed to be a parent and you are definitely on the right path to parenting your son... Thanks for sharing. You and your son are sooooo sweet! Beautiful.

Sep 23rd 2012 new
Janna is just getting to the telling a lie stage of life. I have explained to her that nobody will trust her and that Jesus cries when she tells a lie. When she drew spiders on the wall in sharpie:

Me: JANNA!!!!!

she comes running she knows that tone

me: What is this?

her: a spider

why did you draw a spider on the wall?

her: I don't know I just did.

me:are there any more spiders on the walls?

her, head down hesatating: Noooo

me: I think there are, do I have to go check and beat your bottom?

her: there are a couple more

me How many?

her: eleven

me: why did you lie to me? Do you want Jesus to cry?

her no, I don't want you to get mad at me.

me: I am upset because you drew on the wall and I am upset that you lied to me. You will clean the spiders off the wall and you will go to your room when you are done for lying.

That is what we did. She gets a time out for punishment because spankings don't bother her. I do swat her sometimes on the rear but it is easily forgotten. Time outs are the worst thing I can do to her.
Oct 13th 2012 new

Light moments with Gab :-)

We pray the Holy Rosary every night.. before we pray the Rosary, we thank God first for the day and say personal requests:

Gab: God thank you for taking care of my cousin and healing her from sickness. Thank you also God, for not making me a woman...

Me: Gab, why do you thank God for not making you a woman?

Gab: Because He saved me from pains of menstrual period every month.

laughing

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