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Any suggestions?

Sep 23rd 2012 new
After seeing a post in another forum asking for profile advice I am going to do the same thing here. I recently decided to retool my profile but I am not sure what to say or how to word it. To be honest My writing ability leaves something to be desired leaving me with the feeling at times that leaves my profile lacking. Ladies what are you looking for in viewing a profile, gents what do you find helpful?
Sep 23rd 2012 new
HI!

I'm right there with you!!! Its kind of hard to write a "about me" section without seeming arrogant lol. It took me forever to write one where I felt I didn't come off stuck up...or weird (hard to do for me wink) . I love reading profiles that start off with a joke though...not gonna lie. I also like reading profiles that are straight forward and not like " I dunno what to put but you can message me if you want to know more...." faint
Sep 24th 2012 new

Mark, I just checked out your profile and I think it is one of the more well-written profiles I've seen in a while. Your "about me" section isn't too long, and it flows naturally...giving the reader pertinent information about yourself without sounding boastful. Your "seeking" section is open and not too demanding.

That being said, here are some things I look for in a profile:

1. A profile picture. If there is no profile picture, I worry about whether it is a scammer or someone who has self-confidence issues. I know some people have scrapbook pictures, so I will check for those as well. While looks aren't everything, I have to be somewhat attracted to his appearance (or he has to be smiling at least) before I will click to read more.

2. I also look at age. I prefer to date someone who is my age and up to eight or so years older. Not that age is an absolute deal breaker.

3. So if his picture and age pass the initial test, I will look at his full profile. First I check to make sure he answered "yes" to all 7 faith questions. Answering "no" to any one of them is a deal breaker for me. (I'll also check to see that he attends Mass at least weekly and faith plays a prominent role in his life).

4. If he answers the faith questions correctly, I check out his height. I'm pretty tall, so bonus points for being taller than me! Or as tall, at least. Not a deal breaker, but I would like to wear heels on date nights. :)

5. From there on I just read the profile from the top down. I look for well-written "about me" sections. This might sound bad, but if there are several spelling or grammatical errors there is a good chance I won't finish reading it. (As a side note, I don't like it when people write "I don't like online dating...but" or "I hate filling these things out" or anything like that. Especially when it's the first line I see, it doesn't make me want to keep reading! Spend some time thinking and praying about how you want your profile to start...because it can make all the difference!

6. The seeking section is the last big thing I look at. Seeking sections that are too demanding (or specific) generally scare me away. My favorites are the ones that list some specific qualities while remaining generally open.

7. Finally, I'll read the short answers and usually flip through any profile pictures. If there is an interview (and I'm interested) I will generally take it. If not, I may or may not send an emotigram or message. Sometimes I'll wait to see if he checks out my profile and contacts me first.

I hope I don't come across as super picky; I just want to give a good sense of the thought process I go through as I view profiles. I try to be as open-minded as possible, and some things (like age, height, and appearance are not necessarily deal-breakers). I hope men on this site find my review helpful. As I end this post, I want to leave three suggestions for profile improvement (in general, for anyone):

1. If your profile picture is dark or blurry, or you aren't smiling, change it.

2. Run your profile through as spell check, have a friend proof-read it or send it to me for editing. I'm happy to help.

3. If you don't answer yes to all 7 of the Faith questions, learn what the Catholic Church teaches about them, and be able to articulate why you don't agree with them, and be able to tell an interested viewer whether or not you would be able to live according to the Catholic Church's teachings, even if you don't agree.

Sep 24th 2012 new

I should have taken my own advice. On the second "2" I meant to write "a spell check" not "as spell check." wink

Sep 25th 2012 new

(Quote) Jenny-872030 said: Mark, I just checked out your profile and I think it is one of the more well-written profiles I&#...
(Quote) Jenny-872030 said:

Mark, I just checked out your profile and I think it is one of the more well-written profiles I've seen in a while. Your "about me" section isn't too long, and it flows naturally...giving the reader pertinent information about yourself without sounding boastful. Your "seeking" section is open and not too demanding.

That being said, here are some things I look for in a profile:

1. A profile picture. If there is no profile picture, I worry about whether it is a scammer or someone who has self-confidence issues. I know some people have scrapbook pictures, so I will check for those as well. While looks aren't everything, I have to be somewhat attracted to his appearance (or he has to be smiling at least) before I will click to read more.

2. I also look at age. I prefer to date someone who is my age and up to eight or so years older. Not that age is an absolute deal breaker.

3. So if his picture and age pass the initial test, I will look at his full profile. First I check to make sure he answered "yes" to all 7 faith questions. Answering "no" to any one of them is a deal breaker for me. (I'll also check to see that he attends Mass at least weekly and faith plays a prominent role in his life).

4. If he answers the faith questions correctly, I check out his height. I'm pretty tall, so bonus points for being taller than me! Or as tall, at least. Not a deal breaker, but I would like to wear heels on date nights. :)

5. From there on I just read the profile from the top down. I look for well-written "about me" sections. This might sound bad, but if there are several spelling or grammatical errors there is a good chance I won't finish reading it. (As a side note, I don't like it when people write "I don't like online dating...but" or "I hate filling these things out" or anything like that. Especially when it's the first line I see, it doesn't make me want to keep reading! Spend some time thinking and praying about how you want your profile to start...because it can make all the difference!

6. The seeking section is the last big thing I look at. Seeking sections that are too demanding (or specific) generally scare me away. My favorites are the ones that list some specific qualities while remaining generally open.

7. Finally, I'll read the short answers and usually flip through any profile pictures. If there is an interview (and I'm interested) I will generally take it. If not, I may or may not send an emotigram or message. Sometimes I'll wait to see if he checks out my profile and contacts me first.

I hope I don't come across as super picky; I just want to give a good sense of the thought process I go through as I view profiles. I try to be as open-minded as possible, and some things (like age, height, and appearance are not necessarily deal-breakers). I hope men on this site find my review helpful. As I end this post, I want to leave three suggestions for profile improvement (in general, for anyone):

1. If your profile picture is dark or blurry, or you aren't smiling, change it.

2. Run your profile through as spell check, have a friend proof-read it or send it to me for editing. I'm happy to help.

3. If you don't answer yes to all 7 of the Faith questions, learn what the Catholic Church teaches about them, and be able to articulate why you don't agree with them, and be able to tell an interested viewer whether or not you would be able to live according to the Catholic Church's teachings, even if you don't agree.

--hide--

Mark I think I agree with Jenny on everything she said! My thought process follows those same lines almost exactly when viewing a profile. Only other big thing I consider when viewing any other profile is permanent living preference. And your profile is very well-written.

Sep 25th 2012 new

Jenny if you wanted to critique my profile it would be helpful! Being new here I'm still trying to figure out how much is too much and what is not enough when it comes to sharing about yourself on your profile.

Also if there are any guys reading this I would LOVE to see a thought process list like Jenny had, but from a man's perspective. What do you guys look for when looking at a woman's profile?

Sep 25th 2012 new

(Quote) Angela-899626 said: Jenny if you wanted to critique my profile it would be helpful! Being new here I'm still try...
(Quote) Angela-899626 said:

Jenny if you wanted to critique my profile it would be helpful! Being new here I'm still trying to figure out how much is too much and what is not enough when it comes to sharing about yourself on your profile.

Also if there are any guys reading this I would LOVE to see a thought process list like Jenny had, but from a man's perspective. What do you guys look for when looking at a woman's profile?

--hide--

Hey Angela! I will take a look at your profile this afternoon and send you a message. More than happy to do it! :)

I agree that I would also love to see the process of profile-viewing from a man's perspective.

Sep 25th 2012 new

Okay Angela, I will try to give a walkthough of a guy's perspective:

The first thing I look at when I view profile is the about me section. I like to go there because it is the quickest way to begin to understand what is improtant to someone. Your about me section is good, it has a lot of information. But, if I could make a recomendation: I would move part, or all, of you last paragraph to the front of your about me section. I like to know concrete things people like to do, and it might help to give specific images to jump start the guy's immagination before you get to the more abstract part of your self description.

The second item I look for is age. This is one of those sections that I think guy's intrest will vary, depending on where they are in life, and what they are looking for. For me, I usually look for someone who is at least one year younger than I am, and no more than six years younger.

The third thing I check at is the profile picture. I think it is good you have more pictures than less, it shows confidence. It is also good you have pictures of you with your family, that always helps guys feel more comfortable with the with idea of introducing you to their family if they can already see you comforable and at ease with your own family.

The fourth item I look at are the seven faith questions. You answered yes to all seven, which is what I prefer, and I think most guys here prefer as well.

The fifth thing I check is the Liturgical Preference, although I do not think most guys do this.

The sixth item I look at is the seeking section. I have in the past spent a lot of time communicating with people, who if at the begining, I reviewed their seeking section, I might have better understood the situation. You seeking section is good, I think it is helpful to have both specific goals, and specific values. Guys who are looking for someone who answers yes to all seven faith questions are also likly to appreciate and respect someone who makes that clear.

Overall I think you have a very good profile. Other than rearranging the about me section, I can't see anything I would change. Also, I think it is smart you are becoming active in the forums. I hope you find the gentleman you are looking for.

Sep 25th 2012 new

Matthew thank you for trying to explain a guy's thought process when profile-viewing based on your own. It is always interesting and helpful to try and see things from another's perspective. And I must say that I like that the profile pictures weren't first, it shows that guys who think like that have their priorities more in order, and have more respect for women, as opposed to a lot of the guys I know who view women only as a means to an end.

Also thank you for the profile recommendation. I actually ended up moving all paragraphs around and am much happier with the result. I guess that's what happens when I'm up writing at 11:30 at night, lol!

Sep 25th 2012 new
I would agree with Matthew about almost all of what he said. To be honest yes I do click a profile due to the picture, but before actually looking at all of them I will read over everything. Being on the short side myself I tend it look at height first, although not a deal breaker it is something I consider strongly. Moving in from there I will read over the about me and seeking section. This is also where I might pull information from if I decide to contact, and helps build a picture of who the women is. In no particular order here is what else I look at Age is less important to me from a couple years older to 5 or 6 years younger. Large age difference are somewhat common in my family, so I guess it isn't something I have ever really thought much about. The faith questions are very important to me and like Matthew being 7 of 7 is preferable, but disagreeing might come from not understanding not disobedience. This is something I try to keep in mind. I will also look at mass attendance, the multiple choice. I want to have a large family myself so a woman who comes from one or speaks of wanting one is nice to see, but again not a deal breaker. Being in the military one issue that is worth considering in my case is the long distance relationship, or willingness to move. If someone says no to either of these I will typically just move on in life, however from time to time I will give it a try. I will at some point click through the picture to understand who she is a little better, get a sense of what is important to her, and like everyone else see what she looks like. Usually I will look though these after reading the about me section, but that only because they are at the top. I wonder what would happen if the photo album was placed at the bottom of the page and only have a profile picture at the top?
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