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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Sep 30th 2012 new

(Quote) Rosario-841845 said: But after much reflection and prayer, I can't help but believe that there is some reason ...
(Quote) Rosario-841845 said: But after much reflection and prayer, I can't help but believe that there is some reason for me to be in his life, and vice versa. I am very confused at this point and the decision on taking this relationship further needs to be made.
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Rosario,
You stated, "after much reflection and prayer......." When we speak to God, He listens. When He speaks, we need to listen. Are you a good listener? You seem to be. The answers for so deep a question lay within you own soul. Maybe something here will reasonate with what you are hearing deep within you.

I made the same depth of reflection 32 years ago. I know now that it was all in God's greater plan even though at the time it did not seem to be. I will pray for and with you today at mass. God's Grace to you.

Sep 30th 2012 new

(Quote) Rosario-841845 said: I have recently been in a struggle with the decision to move foward with a relationship. I star...
(Quote) Rosario-841845 said:

I have recently been in a struggle with the decision to move foward with a relationship. I started a friendship with a man 5 months ago and it has eventually turned into a very serious attractiveness. I would even go as far to say that he is "the one". The only problem is that he is not Catholic. He had a very hard childhood and grew up with no religion. As the case with many people in this country, he doesn't believe in organized religion. I know that I will not enter into any sort of commitment with a man who is not catholic because I choose to raise my children Catholic with my husband being the leader. But after much reflection and prayer, I can't help but believe that there is some reason for me to be in his life, and vice versa. I am very confused at this point and the decision on taking this relationship further needs to be made. Since I have this wonderful resource of Catholicmatch, I thought I would take a shot at it. Any suggestions?

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hello Rosario, I think if both of you share same values (not talking about faith) and what he does does not oppose your views and he accepts bringing children up in the Catholic faith, that should not be a problem! My mum has a friend, she is a religious education teacher at a school and he married a man from a Muslim country. Unfortunately the marriage lasted 1 year as he died from a heart attack but since then she has been a widow, nevr married again & she keeps very loving memories from him. She says that as he was dying he was more in communion with her own faith. It is amazing.

Sep 30th 2012 new

After reading some posts I think I should clearify that at this point I am only in a friendship with this man. No physical relationship of any kind. There is a difference in our relationship because of the attractiveness we have towards each other, but that is all. He respects my ideals and beliefs, and many conversations have risen from both of our confusions of the other's perspective. He is a good man who has changed his circumstances. And I do understand and accept that I can not change anyone.


The posts have given me some extra things to think about and I am grateful. Keep them coming because I am young and unexperienced in relationships so advice helps me think things through in a more clear manner. And at the end of the day, everything is in God's hands. He is the one who will lead me on my right path.


Again thank you everyone and God bless!

Sep 30th 2012 new

(Quote) Rosario-841845 said: I have recently been in a struggle with the decision to move foward with a relationship. I star...
(Quote) Rosario-841845 said:

I have recently been in a struggle with the decision to move foward with a relationship. I started a friendship with a man 5 months ago and it has eventually turned into a very serious attractiveness. I would even go as far to say that he is "the one". The only problem is that he is not Catholic. He had a very hard childhood and grew up with no religion. As the case with many people in this country, he doesn't believe in organized religion. I know that I will not enter into any sort of commitment with a man who is not catholic because I choose to raise my children Catholic with my husband being the leader. But after much reflection and prayer, I can't help but believe that there is some reason for me to be in his life, and vice versa. I am very confused at this point and the decision on taking this relationship further needs to be made. Since I have this wonderful resource of Catholicmatch, I thought I would take a shot at it. Any suggestions?

--hide--
Welcome to the forums Rosario.


I've seen some situations that work for God's glory and others not too great.There are times when the Catholic lived a life that was a true reflection of their faith and this helped to lead to a conversion.There are times when children end up with no faith.


You could have discussions about you continuing to pratice your faith as well as the children.Where would such a marriage take place?The Catholic in a Catholic ceremony I believe makes a vow to bring up the children as Catholics.These are the things you should check out.Lots of dicussions and prayers would needed.

Sep 30th 2012 new

Rosario, we are directed in the bible not to be "unequally yoked". I put myself in that situation and it was extremely difficult. My advice to you is to talk with him in depth. Leave no question unanswered as to how you will raise your children and live your life and have your home. The last thing you want are empty promises years from now and refusals to Baptize your children, persecution of living your Faith, and no expression of your Faith in your home. Also keep in mind, people DO change. They can change for the better, and they can change for the worse. Best to align yourself with someone of similar beliefs to minimize the range of scale fluctuations there.

Cat

Sep 30th 2012 new
Rosario,

I have been married and widowed twice. Both of my husband's were Lutheran and converted to Catholicism.
Sep 30th 2012 new

Barb, you must be one of those people whose faith is love in action as both followed your faith.
Bless you!

Sep 30th 2012 new

I AM a person that grew up in a multi-faith household. My mother is Catholic and my father is Protestant. When they married, my father agreed to bring his children up Catholic. My brother has no inclination to faith whatsoever. I and my mother are both very active members of our church. My father is the greatest man in the world. I would not be the person I am today if it weren't for him. If you seek to ultimately marry this person, you need to pose several questions. Will he agree to marry in the church and will he agree to the faith for your children. Getting married is an eye opener to many people. Be patient and have a discussion. Maybe he will be receptive to attending church or maybe praying with you. Who knows, maybe you were meant to bring him to God. He works in very mysterious ways.

Sep 30th 2012 new

Rosario,


I will probably raise more questions for you then answers. I married a "Catholic" man, however, he never went to church with me or the children except for funerals, weddings, etc. I ended up drifting away from my faith for a number of reasons, it certainly did not help that I had no spiritual head in my family except a non-practicing Catholic that was abusive.

Just because somebody claims to be Catholic does not mean they are. I have seen "unbelievers" that are more honest and upright in their dealing with people then some of the so called faithful. I have also seen people who are "outside" the church that are more "inside" it then they realize. It is a heart thing. Can you tell that he has a good and sincere heart.

That being said my advice would be to look more at his actions, history, what your family and friends think of him. Do not just go on words - they are worthless. For so many people, words are like pennies when they should be like diamonds. Does what he says match (at least fairly closely) how he acts.

It is not easy to go to church every week with children alone (whether you are single or married). It is not easy when you don't share that, if it is of real importance to you. Marriage is hard work, we start out in love and as life goes on we have to keep recommitting to the relationship.


Good luck.

Sep 30th 2012 new

I would say to ask him more question about what he would do about children and religion. Even if he did not convert butwas supportive of that upringing it should not be a problem. You may even see if he would go to church with you. I think God is big enough to understand that people are brought up a certain that might not make them religious or have different beliefs. The church even states no one knows who will go to heaven or the alternative for sure. If he were open minded I would give him more of a chance. If not you might have to rethink things. Personally, I think God is all about loving different people, just as long as he does not stop you from your beliefs.

Personally, I would give a non religious person a chance, you might be able to change their heart overtime or atleast have an understanding. If he just says no. I would have to go find someone else who is more open minded. I would not just dismiss him without finding out more about his openess though.

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