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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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09/30/2012 new

The father of my sons was not Christian (he passed away last year). After my sons were born he agreed that I can raise them as Catholics. So they got baptized and were confirmed, we went to holy mass and learned more and more about our faith. As years passed by he disliked it more and more that my children and I lived our faith.

It all looks nice and easy in the beginning, but later the problems will come.

Experience has tought me and I would never choose a non Catholic to marry, if I want to life my faith.

Think about all the very good advices from this thread and don't get taken away by feelings. Life is more than that.

09/30/2012 new

(Quote) Crystal-878100 said: I AM a person that grew up in a multi-faith household. My mother is Catholic and my father is P...
(Quote) Crystal-878100 said:

I AM a person that grew up in a multi-faith household. My mother is Catholic and my father is Protestant. When they married, my father agreed to bring his children up Catholic. My brother has no inclination to faith whatsoever. I and my mother are both very active members of our church. My father is the greatest man in the world. I would not be the person I am today if it weren't for him. If you seek to ultimately marry this person, you need to pose several questions. Will he agree to marry in the church and will he agree to the faith for your children. Getting married is an eye opener to many people. Be patient and have a discussion. Maybe he will be receptive to attending church or maybe praying with you. Who knows, maybe you were meant to bring him to God. He works in very mysterious ways.

--hide--

Asking questions isn't always enough: it is not uncommon for non-Catholics to agree to allow their spouse to raise their children in the faith, then change their mind later.

09/30/2012 new

(Quote) Rosario-841845 said: I have recently been in a struggle with the decision to move foward with a relationship. I star...
(Quote) Rosario-841845 said:

I have recently been in a struggle with the decision to move foward with a relationship. I started a friendship with a man 5 months ago and it has eventually turned into a very serious attractiveness. I would even go as far to say that he is "the one". The only problem is that he is not Catholic. He had a very hard childhood and grew up with no religion. As the case with many people in this country, he doesn't believe in organized religion. I know that I will not enter into any sort of commitment with a man who is not catholic because I choose to raise my children Catholic with my husband being the leader. But after much reflection and prayer, I can't help but believe that there is some reason for me to be in his life, and vice versa. I am very confused at this point and the decision on taking this relationship further needs to be made. Since I have this wonderful resource of Catholicmatch, I thought I would take a shot at it. Any suggestions?

--hide--


Rosario, you have a wonderful resource at Catholic Match but you will hear many different versions of their reason why to move forward and why not to move forward. This is something you need to discern properly and if you have a good preist at your parish, speak with him on how you should handle this with your boyfriend. Continue to pray for him that he comes into the fullness of the faith and that if he is "the one," God will remove the obstacles and you will see clearly.

My paternal grandfather was not Catholic and was a handful. My grandmother was a straight laced woman and he met her and fell in love with her. My grandfather never became Catholic but he raised his boys Catholic (they were devout Catholic men) and always helped at Church when needed and never stop my grandmother. In fact as the years went by, everyone in his hometown thought he was catholic.

Fast forward, my cousin, their granddaughter, married a man who is not catholic and you would not meet a better person. He too has never converted. Attends mass with my cousin regularly and helps whenever he is needed. One day one of the guys in town said to my cousin. Bev would you talk to your husband about becoming a Knights of Columbus member and she said he can't. He looked at her with a puzzled look and why can't he. Her reply because he's not catholic. It was like a fllash back to my grandfather.

Rosario, this is something you have to discern and tell this young man that you could not think of marrying him based on your reasons. Maybe it will give him food to seek out a priest or good catholic to speak with and realize what he is missing, not only in you but in the catholic Church. hug theheart Praying

09/30/2012 new

I was simply saying that if my father agreed and stuck by that others can too. Discussion is the most powerful thing for a relationship. God guides us but we have to do the leg work. Also I was giving words of encouragement. Everyone needs that.

09/30/2012 new

(Quote) Rosario-841845 said: I have recently been in a struggle with the decision to move foward with a relationship. I star...
(Quote) Rosario-841845 said:

I have recently been in a struggle with the decision to move foward with a relationship. I started a friendship with a man 5 months ago and it has eventually turned into a very serious attractiveness. I would even go as far to say that he is "the one". The only problem is that he is not Catholic. He had a very hard childhood and grew up with no religion. As the case with many people in this country, he doesn't believe in organized religion. I know that I will not enter into any sort of commitment with a man who is not catholic because I choose to raise my children Catholic with my husband being the leader. But after much reflection and prayer, I can't help but believe that there is some reason for me to be in his life, and vice versa. I am very confused at this point and the decision on taking this relationship further needs to be made. Since I have this wonderful resource of Catholicmatch, I thought I would take a shot at it. Any suggestions?

--hide--

Hi Rosario,

I feel that being with someone with no religion is harder than being with someone from a different religion, even non Christian religion. A religious person of another faith will more likely at least respect that you are a religious person.

You did not say if you are romantically involved with this man, or if he thinks you might be the one. You mention you think there is some reason for you to be in each other's life. Maybe you will be the vehicle God uses to convert him, but you can also do that as a friend and then see what happens.

I don't mean to sound pessimistic or to discourage you against him, but this is a serious life decision. Everyone has made excellent points and gave good advise. We should all pray for you to make the right decision.

09/30/2012 new
09/30/2012 new

Rosario, welcome to forums! I don't know what I would do in your situation. But marriage is a very, very long commitment. Envision yourself with this person every day for the next 60 years. If you need time, take it. If you need to take a break in the relationship to do some thinking do that. If the relationship can't sustain a 'break' then it probably wouldn't last 60 years. You might try reading some life of saints in the same situation. I know St. Margaret Calitherow (I spelled the last name wrong)...but you can probably find out the proper spelling. She was a English lady very strong in the Catholic faith but her husband was not, but very supportive. Just an idea.

09/30/2012 new

Hola, Mija!

Not being a 'catholic' is NOT the end of the world, so you don't need to worry too much! Looking at your age which is 5 yrs younger than my son, I'd say you have a lot of years left to make mistakes....or not! Since this is really bothering you, I'd suggest you seek advice from a non-denominational professional. "Professional" being the key word.


Buena suerte!


Fat Joe (Gordo Jose) an educated, conservative U.S military veteran

09/30/2012 new

I am going to speak plainly: I don't think so.

As was noted, we are not to be unequally yoked. A woman cannot drag a man along into religion. And even if you were able to do so, you will have to be the leader, and you note that you don't want to be that. If you want to read post after post of the travails of a marriage between a devout Catholic woman and either an unchurched man, or a lapsed Catholic man, check out the "family life" room on Catholic Answer Forums....Oh the heartache of these dear Catholics who married outside the faith, and now living the cross of that life!

No one but you can know if someone is who you should marry or not, whta do we know, but I would counsel you with an abundance of caution.

Yes, you mght be fine, maybe he would convert one day, praise God if so. But maybe it would go the other direction, and you will suffer great heartache.

You are very young--I would suggest you keep looking for your Catholic prince charming....

May God bless you as you seek your vocation to marriage! Praying

09/30/2012 new

One more thing: you might want to read an incredible book called "My Spirit Rejoices--The Secret Diary of Elisabeth Leseur"--Servant of God Elizabeth Leseur was in just such a marriage, it is a heartwretching story of life with her atheist husband.

After her death, he found her diary and eventually converted and became a priest.

The cause for her canonization in underway.

But oh how she suffered!

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