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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Oct 1st 2012 new

(Quote) Rosario-841845 said: I have recently been in a struggle with the decision to move foward with a relationship. I star...
(Quote) Rosario-841845 said:

I have recently been in a struggle with the decision to move foward with a relationship. I started a friendship with a man 5 months ago and it has eventually turned into a very serious attractiveness. I would even go as far to say that he is "the one". The only problem is that he is not Catholic. He had a very hard childhood and grew up with no religion. As the case with many people in this country, he doesn't believe in organized religion. I know that I will not enter into any sort of commitment with a man who is not catholic because I choose to raise my children Catholic with my husband being the leader. But after much reflection and prayer, I can't help but believe that there is some reason for me to be in his life, and vice versa. I am very confused at this point and the decision on taking this relationship further needs to be made. Since I have this wonderful resource of Catholicmatch, I thought I would take a shot at it. Any suggestions?

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A convert definitely, but since this man is not converted or shows any interest, it would be advisable not to follow your heart's desire so blindly. Just sure as the holy spirit can work through you to bring him into the Catholic faith you need to beware of who is working through to him to lead you from the flock. If you are going to go through with this relationship you need to put on the "suit of armor of Jesus Christs". St. Rita stayed true to her faith and she won her husband over.

Oct 1st 2012 new

I can't think of another more important relationship that one could have in which being unequally yoked would have such possible dire consequences. Somehow "Don't be unequally yoked" with your Starbucks barista or mechanic just doesn't seem so important. mischievous

Since it isn't specific, I don't see how it couldn't apply here.
hug

Cat


(Quote) Daniel-634934 said: I just want to throw in my two cents worth 2 Corinthians was NOT referring to marriage w...
(Quote) Daniel-634934 said:

I just want to throw in my two cents worth

2 Corinthians was NOT referring to marriage when speaking about being "unequally yoked". The scripture was speaking about people in general.
Most protestants use this as an "escape clause" when trying to justify divorce. There is no such thing.

I didn't mean to take away the main topic of this thread, and I don't have any advice. I do know that when a married couple is not on the same page spiritually then they are going to bear a much heavier cross.

God bless you

--hide--

Oct 2nd 2012 new

With the right person it can work. I was married for close to 24 years to a non-catholic. He always respected my choice in religion, and our sons were raised Catholics. No he didn't go to church with us often only on special occasions. He was raised in a christian home just not Catholic. Maybe I was just lucky if we didn't eat meat at certain times that was fine with him he loved fish. Communication is the key here talk it out, and see how he feels. If he is willing to go along with the Catholic teachings, it can work. My second husband wasn't Catholic either, but he would go to church with me and he loved to sing right along with everyone else. It all comes down to respect and respecting each others beliefs. I was with both husbands until we were parted by death. I have really only dated a couple of Catholics in my lifetime. Where I grew up the Catholic community was rather small, and that was way before the computer-age. I am no saying it would not be nice to be able to share ones faith, because it would be, but it can work if you don't. If he didn't believe in God, that would be a deal breaker I could not handle that.

Oct 2nd 2012 new

Rosario, I remember when I was your age and thought I had met THE one. Things did not work out and, although it was awful tearing myself away from him, now in hindsight, if we HAD stayed together, it would have turned out to be hell on earth. Our children would have been very confused over whether dad was right in NOT believing in God or, should they listen to their Christian mom? When the Bible says, don't be unequally yoked, it says that for a reason. As someone said to me later in life, a man who appeals to you when you are 23 will not be the same type of man who would appeal to you at 33. Please DON't move forward with this guy. Ironically, the reason why you might be in this guy's life right now mioght be to show him what it is to lead a life of faith. One final note, I believe when a man and woman marry, the two become one and sadly, if one of them is a non-believer, then BOTH inevitably will reflect that eventually. I always said (when I was a young person) that I wanted to marry a man who was my alter ego, someone who reflected who I wanted to be - a betterment of myself. Think about that. THE most important thing for you is to have a husband who will share your Catholic faith with your children and be the spiritual head of your household. And finally, please don't think you will marry him and he will convert eventually - that's what I thought my husband would do and THAT never happened. Hope this helps. Lois

Oct 2nd 2012 new

(Quote) Rosario-841845 said: I have recently been in a struggle with the decision to move foward with a relationship. I star...
(Quote) Rosario-841845 said:

I have recently been in a struggle with the decision to move foward with a relationship. I started a friendship with a man 5 months ago and it has eventually turned into a very serious attractiveness. I would even go as far to say that he is "the one". The only problem is that he is not Catholic. He had a very hard childhood and grew up with no religion. As the case with many people in this country, he doesn't believe in organized religion. I know that I will not enter into any sort of commitment with a man who is not catholic because I choose to raise my children Catholic with my husband being the leader. But after much reflection and prayer, I can't help but believe that there is some reason for me to be in his life, and vice versa. I am very confused at this point and the decision on taking this relationship further needs to be made. Since I have this wonderful resource of Catholicmatch, I thought I would take a shot at it. Any suggestions?

--hide--


Pray for discernment. God may have put you two into each other's lives so that you could lead him (gently) to Christ.

Oct 2nd 2012 new

(Quote) Marian-83994 said: As Ray said, It can happen, butI will add that it is rare that it can work out, if he is ...
(Quote) Marian-83994 said:



As Ray said, It can happen, butI will add that it is rare that it can work out, if he is so against religion..

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Yes, Marian -- there could be insurmountable difficulties if the gent in question interferes with Rosario's Faith and religious practices. There are people who are believers, yet are unchurched. This relationship has a better chance as opposed to a total non-believer. John is correct in stating Rosario needs to take a good look at her person of interest so she isn't seeing him through rose-colored glasses.

You brought out another point and that relates to this gent's background, which, as Rosario states, was difficult. She needs to ensure she isn't drawn to him out of sympathy. It's not wrong to be sympathetic toward him, but it's not a basis for a solid relationship. There needs to be more -- much more.

Oct 2nd 2012 new

(Quote) David-364112 said: Pray for discernment. God may have put you two into each other's lives ...
(Quote) David-364112 said:


Pray for discernment. God may have put you two into each other's lives so that you could lead him (gently) to Christ.

--hide--
True, David -- it's happened to many. Rosario should take a look at this, too. If he's open to her continuing her Faith beliefs and practices, there's a better chance this could happen. If he's opposed to her practicing her Faith, difficulties lie ahead.

Oct 2nd 2012 new

(Quote) Sally-894891 said: There is no answer one can give you in what you should do. It really depends on yourself, on your...
(Quote) Sally-894891 said:

There is no answer one can give you in what you should do. It really depends on yourself, on your morals and values, how you view your future and married life. All that I can advice you is to not blindly follow your heart, but think with your mind and very thorougly and deeply about your future. I have no doubt that you can love him and he can love you, but love isn't enough. There is much more you have to think about. Like you stated yourself, how are you going to raise your children? Is he going to respect you? Is he going to make you develop and grow in your faith, intellect and life. And can you handle those differences in marriage? Religion isn't just a religion, but a lifestyle. Maybe he doesn't like the organized religion, but he does believe in the teachings, morals and values of the church? If that's the case he can share your choice of lifestyle. It's a tough decision and I hope you will find your answer.



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Well stated Sally! thumbsup

Oct 2nd 2012 new

I always believed your better off finding someone that shares your faith. But as long as a non-catholic has good moral value and faith, I guess he/she would be okay. However I think it's better to find someone that will go to church with you. two cents

Oct 2nd 2012 new

(Quote) Ray-566531 said: True, David -- it's happened to many. Rosario should take a look at this, too. If he's open...
(Quote) Ray-566531 said:

True, David -- it's happened to many. Rosario should take a look at this, too. If he's open to her continuing her Faith beliefs and practices, there's a better chance this could happen. If he's opposed to her practicing her Faith, difficulties lie ahead.

--hide--


Precisely.

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