(Quote) Ray-566531 said:
Greetings, John -- First of all, we want to welcome you to the CM forums. You've found your way here. If you've been browsing and lurking, you know there are many topics that relate to everyday life, problems and solutions; you'll find wisdom, knowledge and solid suggestions here, many coupled with a sprinkle of humor.
You've started off with a serious question -- one that is difficult to give a 100% correct answer.
Wonder no more about self-esteem tanking relationship potential. Your first and foremost goal is on target. Ultimately, you're here to be of service to Him -- that's of primary importance. It's the only thing that will last forever. Self-esteem can be at an all time high if you are in good standing with the Good Lord.
While we're here, we're expected to take good care of ourselves, being "temples" of the Holy Spirit. as it is said. We're not perfect in this by any means, nor are we in our behavior. But it's important to be trying -- making progress or at least trying to make progress. Sometimes our obstacles are difficult to overcome.
Weight problems? You're not alone, but that's really not much of a comfort to you. The question that comes to mind is the reason for your "major weight gain". There could be some underlying medical problem, and I hope if that's a possibility that you've been checked out by a doctor. Lack of activity and dietary habits are both a major cause. If that's the case, you know what you have to do. It'll take discipline and patience, along with lifestyle changes, but your health will improve, your weight problem will be reduced (no pun intended), and your self-esteem will rise.
In the meantime, you can feel free to seek a relationship or companionship. No reason not to. If your situation is a concern to a woman who is drawing your interest, you can be open and honest. Perhaps a compassionate woman will be able to help you achieve your worldly goals that you have mentioned. People come in all shapes, sizes, and colors -- it makes the world a more interesting place. Each one of us is unique. We see married couples, and couples in a relationship that will probably lead to marriage with all different appearances. What's important is our core values -- what's inside of us, our personality, our spirituality.
Stay focused -- especially spiritually. Ask Him for help. No -- you won't lose weight just by saying a prayer, but you can gain the fortitude to pursue your goal. Try it -- you have nothing to lose except some weight.
(A little PS -- if you haven't been involved in an exercise routine, consult with your doctor so you can find some ways that are safe for you.)