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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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She has MS, and had 5 boys.. and supports her husband.

I have CP, and that all sounds like a lot to me.

I would love to get married someday and have kids and teach them that not everyone's perfect.. and some people have disabilities like their mother. But with everything that a woman needs to do.. cook, and clean, and laundry. Now, I'm not saying I'm not capable of doing those things.. but just not as quickly as someone else could.. a person that was born normal.

boggled

I wish I wasn't born with this disability.. it's so hard... sad sad sad

Oct 3rd 2012 new

hug hug Praying

God bless you for speaking from your heart here.

I am so sorry that you have this additional cross to bear.

But as you said, look at Mrs. Romney...your life can turn out just as good, so don't despair!

Keep looking for someone. You will be able to use what that disability has taught you for the good of your future husband and children, God willing!

hug

Oct 3rd 2012 new

(Quote) Pat-5351 said: God bless you for speaking from your heart here. I am so sorry that you have this add...
(Quote) Pat-5351 said:

God bless you for speaking from your heart here.

I am so sorry that you have this additional cross to bear.

But as you said, look at Mrs. Romney...your life can turn out just as good, so don't despair!

Keep looking for someone. You will be able to use what that disability has taught you for the good of your future husband and children, God willing!

--hide--

I hope so Pat, I hope so.. Praying Praying Praying

Oct 3rd 2012 new

BUMP!!!! tongue

Oct 3rd 2012 new

Hi Mary...It does sound as though you have many doubts about your abilities and what you can do and you're trying to focus on a disability you have. It certainly doesn't make you 'abnormal' It sounds like you are a wonderful, caring person and I hope that everything you want to have for your future comes true.


Let me tell you--all women--all of us have many doubts about our abilities and just how much we can take on, but take it from someone that has lived already a long, full life, we're strong, we're capable and we can certainly do many more things that we imagined. I have seen some wonderful stories of women (and men) who have beaten all odds to do unimaginable things in life, even in the face of adversity and some with disabilities. You are CAPABLE! Having kids, a husband, a job, and so many chores and responsibilities is a daunting order for most of us and most of us think we cannot do it all.


Several years ago (actually during the decade of the 80's) I saw a great special show with veteran journalist Barbara Walters. She chose as a topic to discuss whether or not women could really do it all--she wanted to talk about this "superwoman" that everyone was buzzing about then. She talked about herself, her own experiences with having a full, very demanding career, a husband, or two, children, a household to tend, etc. and posed the question to all of us as to whether it could all be done well. At that time, I, like her, had a career (with lots of travelling), a husband, 2 kids and a household to run--and I did it all. I wasn't sure how well I was doing it all, but I was doing it, and I thought I was doing it as well as I could. Nobody was complaining, least of all me.


I was born into a very culturally traditional family, where the wife stays at home, cleans, cooks and takes care of the kids; however, I was not that type of person, I wanted more, had a good education and decided that staying at home doing chores and watching kids was not all that I wanted to do. So I embarked on a career, where I would say I was successful and I liked it. Things were never perfect, because they never are, but they were as 'perfect' and 'normal' and they were going to be and I took care of it all, with a lot of help, that is, from my husband, who was a wonderful, supportive man, who also worked very hard, was a good father, a great husband and we made it work.


Getting back to Barbara Walters, she continued on about all the good and the "bad" things in trying to do it all and concluded that based on the many interviews she'd done and based on her own experience, she said, that "women cannot do it all 100%, 100% of the time, and that someone or something had to give, or was going to suffer as a result of it. She proclaimed, "you can't have it all! You can't have a perfect husband, a perfect job and perfect kids, all at the same time! No one can! I pondered everything I heard her say on the show and then, and over the years I decided she was right, except that "perfect" is not necesarily what we all want, or are realistic enough to understand it is not possible, but things can be perfectly imperfect in your life, and it is still OK. My husband was happy, my kids were happy, my boss was happy and I was happy, so what was the problem? Actually, there was no problem, other than the fact that I had to work A LOT to make it all happen. I was always busy doing something, going somewhere, going out of town, and was just simply lucky to have been one of those people for whom there were no impossibles, have a type-A personality, and was terrible organized (I blame this one on my Sun sign, Virgo.) and had to be. I had everything and everybody on a schedule. I got up everyday at 5:00 a.m., made sure I had breakfast (good and nutritious) on the table, made sure my kids looked nice and clean and ate before going to school, I made them lunch and started dinner for that evening. I showered, dressed, put on some makeup and off I went. I made dinner menus in my household for an entire month, and every week I would go buy whatever I was going to need to make the dinners on the menu for the week. I taught my husband how to cook simple things and he always helped and often made dinner for us, gave the kids a bath, did laundry and made sure he too did his "fair share" of the work. I took my kids to school and then I went to work in a very busy, demanding and stressful job. When I travelled, which was very often, I cooked ahead of time on the weekends and froze the food, so it was ready to just warm up and eat, or I'd tell my husband that he was "on his own" Sure, it was difficult for everybody when I was gone, most of all me, because I always felt that I was forgetting something or neglecting something, but truthfully, the worst that I remember happening was that my little girl would be crying when I talked to her from out of town because her dad didn't know how to braid her hair and her clothes didn't match when she got dressed for school. My husband didn't like it when I wasn't there, bacause he had to pull "double duty" and do it all himself. Not an easy task. But he did it, and I did it and everything was "perfect". Today, my children are grown up and they are wonderful, productive, well educated people, both with masters' degrees. My son is married and has 3 children of his own and he often tells me "mom, I don't know how you did it all", "we can't do it." And, I always tell him, "sure you can" You do it the same way I did. You get up very early, and work very hard all day; if you're lucky you can get 4-5 hours of sleep and you can do it and make it work, one day at a time, with the help of God and everybody else you can.


And, by the way, Barbara Walters was right, you can't do it all, perfectly well, all of the time. Someone or something suffers from it. I suffered when I was out of town, in some unfamiliar city, in a hotel room, and I was by myself; my husband wasn't there with me. I was always guilt-ridden. My husband "suffered" because he had to do "double duty" and learn to cook, although he never learned to braid my daughter's hair. My kids didn't suffer because even though they missed me, they got along just fine, dad took care of them, read to them at night, played with them, fed them and everyone was happy. Yeah, my husband had to miss a few football and baseball games, but he lived. My kids grew up "normal", in a loving, caring environment, with two parents taking care of them all the time and making sure their needs were met and my husband and I had a solid, loving marriage for 35 wonderful years. I am not Ann Romney, nor would I want to be. She and her husband have millions of dollars; I had to work for a living, to ensure we had everything we needed. When my husband died 2 years ago, he and I had a lot of time to sit and talk to each other about our lives together. He told me that he would do it all over again, that he loved me and that I had made him a better man. I think we made each other better and told him so. I loved him, I miss him terribly and I, too, would do it all over again.


Don't be afraid and full of self-doubt. God has given you a great deal of strength and he's helping you along the way. You can do it; it may no be perfect, but it will be near perfect. So, go out and do it.

Oct 3rd 2012 new

(Quote) Mary-42689 said: She has MS, and had 5 boys.. and supports her husband. I have CP, and that all sounds like a...
(Quote) Mary-42689 said:

She has MS, and had 5 boys.. and supports her husband.

I have CP, and that all sounds like a lot to me.

I would love to get married someday and have kids and teach them that not everyone's perfect.. and some people have disabilities like their mother. But with everything that a woman needs to do.. cook, and clean, and laundry. Now, I'm not saying I'm not capable of doing those things.. but just not as quickly as someone else could.. a person that was born normal.

I wish I wasn't born with this disability.. it's so hard...

--hide--


This is a wonderful and brave post Mary. You and I met at the CM Christmas gathering at Millenium Park in Chicago 4 years ago. You are a fine woman who would make an ecellent wife and mother for some fortunate man.


You are who you are. Accept that and capitalize on your many strengths instead. The scope of your disability is relatively minor and not so severe as to be an impediment to these goals. You're bright, warm-hearted, and attractive. I'll pray that you find your match.



Oct 3rd 2012 new

(Quote) David-364112 said: This is a wonderful and brave post Mary. You and I met at the CM Christmas gathering...
(Quote) David-364112 said:


This is a wonderful and brave post Mary. You and I met at the CM Christmas gathering at Millenium Park in Chicago 4 years ago. You are a fine woman who would make an ecellent wife and mother for some fortunate man.


You are who you are. Accept that and capitalize on your many strengths instead. The scope of your disability is relatively minor and not so severe as to be an impediment to these goals. You're bright, warm-hearted, and attractive. I'll pray that you find your match.



--hide--

Thank you David!! That was so nice!!! hug hug

Oct 3rd 2012 new

I just read an article entitled "Love is there for anyone whose heart is open" in the 10/8/12 Woman's World magazine about a 24-year-old woman with cerebral palsy who never gave up hope that fairy tales could come true. Due to her disability, she walked with a walker. But she met a nice young man in a living skills programs for disabled adults. He also used a walker. And so they had something in common and were able to relate to one another and fell in love after spending time together and then married. They are an attractive couple who appear to be glowing with happiness.

Oct 3rd 2012 new

(Quote) Joanne-75060 said: I just read an article entitled "Love is there for anyone whose heart is open" in the 1...
(Quote) Joanne-75060 said:

I just read an article entitled "Love is there for anyone whose heart is open" in the 10/8/12 Woman's World magazine about a 24-year-old woman with cerebral palsy who never gave up hope that fairy tales could come true. Due to her disability, she walked with a walker. But she met a nice young man in a living skills programs for disabled adults. He also used a walker. And so they had something in common and were able to relate to one another and fell in love after spending time together and then married. They are an attractive couple who appear to be glowing with happiness.

--hide--

That's a great story, thanks for sharing!!! biggrin

I hope to some day have my fairy tale come true... Praying Praying

Oct 3rd 2012 new

(Quote) Mary-42689 said: She has MS, and had 5 boys.. and supports her husband. I have CP, and that all sounds like a...
(Quote) Mary-42689 said:

She has MS, and had 5 boys.. and supports her husband.

I have CP, and that all sounds like a lot to me.

I would love to get married someday and have kids and teach them that not everyone's perfect.. and some people have disabilities like their mother. But with everything that a woman needs to do.. cook, and clean, and laundry. Now, I'm not saying I'm not capable of doing those things.. but just not as quickly as someone else could.. a person that was born normal.

I wish I wasn't born with this disability.. it's so hard...

--hide--




Oh dear Mary.. You are beautiful just the way you are with your disability and all your flaws.. we all have flaws.. Our greatest treasure is our faith in Christ... Don't worry about what Ann Romney has, God uses us all in ways we never can know if we just submit to His will. Our crosses can make us stronger.. I try to continually offer up my dissappointments to God and say Lord you have created me, use me as you want... We are not our own but God's creation Created for Him ..

Keep shining your love and faith to others. God can use you in the smallest ways..

Here is some inspiration from a woman that was going to be aborted but survived. Check here about Gianna Jennsen news.bbc.co.uk A great reminder that God can use us in all our brokenness to bring His light into this broken world. May God Bless you and give you strength... You are beautiful in His eyes and are a daughter of God the Father. How wonderful and fearfully He made you and me and everyone !


Peace and Prayers ,

Kathleen Praying rosary theheart hug



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