I don't know about the gap between Agape and Eros but thank you for your description. However, I do know that when a man knows what kind of woman matters in his life, and he makes it possible for her to become pleased with his actions, almost in super-hero mode to set the course for a happy start.
The problem is what happens later in the marriage. And this is where he loses the time to keep pleasing his wife. A wife will return the "giving" when she sees that the husband is giving from his heart, not just for a temporary prize. Marriage is about nurturing just like you would your own children. If you don't nurture each other, the romance wilts like a flower without the sun, and then eventually the love dies. No job, not even children should makes us stop nurturing the love we have for our spouses. Without the nurture in the beginning, we would have never gone further to even have children nor would it have been worth while to seek better job opportunities to improve our household.
So I say, romance is not selfish, it is nutrients to keep love alive.