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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Oct 7th 2012 new

(Quote) Matthew-617971 said: I just received the book last night. I flipped through the table of contents and am really exci...
(Quote) Matthew-617971 said:

I just received the book last night. I flipped through the table of contents and am really excited. Some of my favorite writers and passages are in here, and it will be interesting to reread them separate from the rest of the work they were first written in, and instead directly after a passage on a separate topic by a different author. Thank you for the recommendation David.

I enjoyed the Baily reading. I definitely learned a lot. For instance, I had no idea that was the original source for the word date. As to the question of dating versus calling, I like calling; it may sound quaint or what have you, but I can see the merits. That said, I do think that it is not a key priority for me. It is very hard to find someone who is both catholic and shares my values, and because my end objective is marriage, I would be willing to take either route (calling or dating,) with the right girl.

I would be really intrested in hearing other's thoughts on the reading?

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Thank you for your input. I hope I am able to add something soon.

Oct 8th 2012 new

Hi Matthew. I just finised reading Bailey. I didn't realize it was going to be a history lesson.

I, like you, was suprized at the origins of the word "dating" and its link to prostitution.

I was also struck that in the 19th century, it was customary for women to asked men to "call" on them, and that it was highly improper for a man to initiate a romantic relationship with a woman. That was solely a woman's role in courtship. Today we think of women who ask men out as forward, but it seems historically, thats the way it was. Talk about a role reversal.

I enjoyed Bailey also. Is anyone else going to continue with the book club? And am I giving too much information away? I know some people do not have the book and want to follow along.

Oct 8th 2012 new

[quote]Matthew-617971 said:



I like calling; it may sound quaint or what have you, but I can see the merits.

Oct 8th 2012 new

(Quote) Matthew-617971 said: I like calling; it may sound quaint or what have you, but I can see the merits.
(Quote) Matthew-617971 said:



I like calling; it may sound quaint or what have you, but I can see the merits.

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Sorrry bout that.

I like calling too. I think it took some pressure off the girl, but not the boy since he was probably being watched like a hawk. In my mother's day (50's) in the old country, men came calling (but men also initiated the calling). They did go out, but always with the family as chaperones. I thought that was a strange foreign custom, but now I see it was the same custom here but earlier.

Of course we can all see the merits of calling. It was more innocent and you pretty much knew the boy had good intentions if he was willing to be with the girls family.

According to Baily's writing, if a man asked if he could walk a woman home from church (I think thats the example used), the implication was that marriage was the intention. My mother said that was the case in her day also. People didn't date just get to know one another, even if the utimate goal was marriage. If you went on a first date, it meant you wanted to marry that person. This is consistent with what Bailey describes in 19th century.

In calling vs dating, one good thing about dating is that it gives us an opportunity to get to know someone to see if we are compatible or not. Marriage is not implied.

Oct 13th 2012 new

I just finished the book. Depending on where everyone else is I would be happy to discuss the later chapters. Without giving away the rest of the book, I just wanted to quickly share my favorite quote:

"Even if you did not manage to see the whole globe or to speak in many tongues or to know all about the heavens, you will not regret it, for marriage is and remains the most important voyage of discovery a human being undertakes; compared with a married man's knowledge of life, any other knowledge of it is superficial, for he and he alone has properly immersed himself in life." Soren Kierkegaard.

Oct 13th 2012 new
(Quote) Matthew-617971 said: I just finished the book. Depending on where everyone else is I would be happy to discuss the later chapters....
(Quote) Matthew-617971 said:

I just finished the book. Depending on where everyone else is I would be happy to discuss the later chapters. Without giving away the rest of the book, I just wanted to quickly share my favorite quote:

"Even if you did not manage to see the whole globe or to speak in many tongues or to know all about the heavens, you will not regret it, for marriage is and remains the most important voyage of discovery a human being undertakes; compared with a married man's knowledge of life, any other knowledge of it is superficial, for he and he alone has properly immersed himself in life." Soren Kierkegaard.

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Spoken by a guy who never married.

Kierkegaard was engaged though. Matthew, read the passage from his Stages on Life's Way where he reflects on why he broke off his engagement. Go to Wikipedia, search "Kierkegaard". Find "Early Years" and scroll down to "Regine Olsen and graduation (1837-1841)". There you will find the quote.
Oct 13th 2012 new

Oops I am a little late in joing you guys! Now it is half way thru October already I was interested and then forgot to check back with you to see what you were reading! Would you kindly let me know what book you are discussing ? Thanks

I am studying a book of Ralph Martin's The Fullfillment of All Desire a guidebook for the Journey to God based on the Wisdom of The Saints with a fello CM'R . Very interesting.

Oct 13th 2012 new

David, thank you for the recommendation; I will check it out.

Oct 13th 2012 new
(Quote) Elizabeth-745199 said: Oops I am a little late in joing you guys! Now it is half way thru October already I was interested and ...
(Quote) Elizabeth-745199 said:

Oops I am a little late in joing you guys! Now it is half way thru October already I was interested and then forgot to check back with you to see what you were reading! Would you kindly let me know what book you are discussing ? Thanks

I am studying a book of Ralph Martin's The Fullfillment of All Desire a guidebook for the Journey to God based on the Wisdom of The Saints with a fello CM'R . Very interesting.

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Elizabeth, go to the beginning of the thread and you'll find the title of the book. Best, David
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