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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

10/08/2012 new

(Quote) Edward-512961 said: Men ask questions; getting answers sometimes may be a problem. I'll try to get a lady to talk about...
(Quote) Edward-512961 said: Men ask questions; getting answers sometimes may be a problem. I'll try to get a lady to talk about herself, to start things off. What interests me is whether the conversation will go back and forth between us, or is she so absorbed in herself that she prattles on and on and on and on........?
--hide--


Probably no guy from here will ever want to go out with me after the fact that I started this thread. But since I see the action of going out with anyone from CM to be very remote, I was brave and started it for the benefit of all the othe rpeople here who will be going on on DATES SOON! duck flamed

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10/08/2012 new

(Quote) Marian-83994 said: Men, have you been on the phone or in correspondence, be honest: Do you remember to actua...
(Quote) Marian-83994 said:

Men, have you been on the phone or in correspondence, be honest:

Do you remember to actually ask a woman questions?

Do you all realize that this can help in your CREATING A RELATIONSHIP with a woman?

I know that some of you may do this but I feel I must state this as an important factor in building a relationship and building a connection.

I have some guys who drop me a not now and then. It would take almost nothing to ask a question or two..

Have you ever been on the phone and dominated the call with your own narrative and not asked a question? Be honest..

As a woman of 55, I don't need to be coy, I feel I can bring this up and ask this question without penalty. I have endured enough situations, where they forgot to ask a scintilla of a question..
Comments?

--hide--

for all the male-bashing threads i see, i gather that, for women, it must be a lot of fun to beat up on men. why is that?

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10/08/2012 new

(Quote) Marian-83994 said: I am curious as to any questions you may have asked and what kind of topic the woman bega...
(Quote) Marian-83994 said:



I am curious as to any questions you may have asked and what kind of topic the woman began to speak on that led her to keep talking. I am sincerely curious. If you can recall an instance, do share it.

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Now I got this part. I've been reading all the posts in this topic and I find it hard to get in because of the one question I got in mind that is very sensitive. Men would probably like but hesitate to ask women this question: "Are you financially secure?, What is your source of income," and many other questions related to the woman's possibility of being dependent on him or his income. I am writing a book about old age, and in my interviews. observations, and research, I found issues of money very important to old people. I see that even in a loving relationship, men tend to hide some money from their spouse ( I see this in my parents, relatives, neighbors and friends.) Men finds their spouse either generous, charitable, or extravagant, that because of this, their financial insecurity increases as they age. However, looking at this on the positive side, this is beneficial to both. Take for example my parents: My Dad would hide from my Mom his SS pension that when she asked him some money, he would say he has nothing. My mother would just laugh at him. sometimes make fun of him before their children saying he's hiding his money because he's afraid she might steal it, then she giggles. My father would then becomes defensive. When he died, the money he hid was spent on his funeral. Had my mother died first, the money my father saved would give him some feeling of financial security living by himself. Had he not saved, my mother would have given that money to her children, leaving them both broke. Reading the profiles of all the men here, I find that some men include their financial info. In the other dating websites that I signed up to, I learned that men who are financially secured tend to look for a homebound housewife that is willing to do the chores for him, including taking care of his health. Of course serving each other is what loving gives to each other. Men should not feel insecure about a woman'S capability to love and serve. I keep this quote in my memory bag: A WOMAN WOULD CARRY THE WORLD ON HER SHOULDER FOR THE MAN WHO LOVES HER.

However though, the issue about money (and other assets) would be complicated if there are children from previous marriages because the possibility would be that when one dies, the immediate relatives feel they have the right to inherit whatever is left behind.

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10/08/2012 new

(Quote) David-364112 said: (Quote) Marian-83994 said: Men, have you been on the phone or in correspon...
(Quote) David-364112 said:

Quote:
Marian-83994 said:

Men, have you been on the phone or in correspondence, be honest:

Do you remember to actually ask a woman questions?

Do you all realize that this can help in your CREATING A RELATIONSHIP with a woman?

I know that some of you may do this but I feel I must state this as an important factor in building a relationship and building a connection.

I have some guys who drop me a not now and then. It would take almost nothing to ask a question or two..

Have you ever been on the phone and dominated the call with your own narrative and not asked a question? Be honest..

As a woman of 55, I don't need to be coy, I feel I can bring this up and ask this question without penalty. I have endured enough situations, where they forgot to ask a scintilla of a question..
Comments?


for all the male-bashing threads i see, i gather that, for women, it must be a lot of fun to beat up on men. why is that?

--hide--



If you would take the time to read the words before you- you will soon find that this is absolutely not a male bashing thread. Take your time and read.

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10/08/2012 new

(Quote) Marian-83994 said: Lets scratch down a few ideas for men to ask ladies or ladies to ask men:...
(Quote) Marian-83994 said:



Lets scratch down a few ideas for men to ask ladies or ladies to ask men:



Ladies to men and men to ladies:


So What kind of relationship are you seeking?
Are you looking to get married?
Are you just seeking friendship or are you dating?
What are you looking for?

What sort of future do you wish for?
What sort of future do you dream about?
What sort of plans do you have or would you like to have?


Where do you plan to live in the future?
Where would you like to live in the future?
What kind of weather do you prefer?
What kind of town, city would you like to live in?


How are those?



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While the ones I bolded are nice to know they center around what our personal wills are and maybe not necessarily what Gods will for us is. As such when looking at it from an eternal point of view as to the salvation of our souls those questions are not really that important, nor are the answers as it is God who is in charge of those things and if we try and fight for example the place we want to live over where He wants us to live we will only cause ourselves misery as we are not in accord with Him.

I've learned that even my best thought out future has not been what God has wanted for me, as it would have come to fruition if it was. Not to say I did not put in the effort to be a big four accounting firm partner, as I interviewed with each of them. However God in His wisdom knew that it was not best for me and had other plans. I'm still learning what He wants from me and where He wants me. I'd much prefer someone answer questions like that with openness to the Divine plan and not concentrate on their own personal wills.

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10/08/2012 new

(Quote) Marian-83994 said: If you would take the time to read the words before you- you will soon find that this...
(Quote) Marian-83994 said:




If you would take the time to read the words before you- you will soon find that this is absolutely not a male bashing thread. Take your time and read.

--hide--


it's clear as day. men are self-absorbed jerks who just talk at women and treat them as sounding boards without taking any interest in them as persons.


while we're at it, what else can we find to pick men apart? this isn't the only thread that impies or expressly states a series of accusations and insults against men.


then you women wonder why we shy away.

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10/08/2012 new

P.S. I have now entered the thread that I said I would not touch with a 10ft pole... referee

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10/08/2012 new

(Quote) John-324285 said: P.S. I have now entered the thread that I said I would not touch with a 10ft pole...
(Quote) John-324285 said:

P.S. I have now entered the thread that I said I would not touch with a 10ft pole...

--hide--


that pole will be shattered to toothpicks. we're both cruisin for a bruisin.

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10/08/2012 new

(Quote) John-324285 said: (Quote) Marian-83994 said: Lets scratch down a few ideas for men to...
(Quote) John-324285 said:

Quote:
Marian-83994 said:



Lets scratch down a few ideas for men to ask ladies or ladies to ask men:



Ladies to men and men to ladies:


So What kind of relationship are you seeking?
Are you looking to get married?
Are you just seeking friendship or are you dating?
What are you looking for?

What sort of future do you wish for?
What sort of future do you dream about?
What sort of plans do you have or would you like to have?


Where do you plan to live in the future?
Where would you like to live in the future?
What kind of weather do you prefer?
What kind of town, city would you like to live in?


How are those?






While the ones I bolded are nice to know they center around what our personal wills are and maybe not necessarily what Gods will for us is. As such when looking at it from an eternal point of view as to the salvation of our souls those questions are not really that important, nor are the answers as it is God who is in charge of those things and if we try and fight for example the place we want to live over where He wants us to live we will only cause ourselves misery as we are not in accord with Him.

I've learned that even my best thought out future has not been what God has wanted for me, as it would have come to fruition if it was. Not to say I did not put in the effort to be a big four accounting firm partner, as I interviewed with each of them. However God in His wisdom knew that it was not best for me and had other plans. I'm still learning what He wants from me and where He wants me. I'd much prefer someone answer questions like that with openness to the Divine plan and not concentrate on their own personal wills.

--hide--


John, Thanks for your ideas and comments. My suggestions are based on places to start. Once the couple on the date get talking about God's will, the conversation will take many interesting turns. The couple can always begin with the questions I suggested and then branch into other areas. The main goal is to see if there is compatability in your thinking and in your way to approach problems and big decisions. You want to know the values of the other party and seek ways to find those. John, I am sure the conversation you wil have on these directional issues will be so interesting and you will be able to measure something during these conversations.

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10/08/2012 new

I always ask women questions on dates. Sometimes they answer and it starts new conversation. Other times they mumble a one or two word answer and after a couple of these I remember a missed appointement. Or their reply takes up the rest of the date, making me regret having asked the question.

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