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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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In "love' too fast!

Oct 8th 2012 new

I have a tendency to fall in love too fast, put my heart right on the table as it were. (I proposed to my late wife after knowing her for 4 weeks. We were married for 27 years!) I know from listening to the ladies at church that too fast tends to scare women off. How I reign in the horses so i dont ruin what could be great?

Oct 8th 2012 new

"Putting your heart on the table" doesn't necessarily mean that you're in love... you just may be the type who wears his heart on his sleeve. The other thing to recognize is the difference between actually being truly "in love" and simply being infatuated with someone. Infatuation comes and goes - you can always become infatuated with someone. Infatuation can also die just as quickly. Falling truly in love is another story though. If you're falling in love every week then perhaps you're falling in love too fast. Then again, the guy giving you this advice was engaged at 17, and has legitimately been in love all of twice in the 23 years since, so take it for what you will. Some would say that perhaps I'm too slow to fall in love. faint Eh... what do they know? rolling eyes

Oct 8th 2012 new

(Quote) Daniel-900865 said: I have a tendency to fall in love too fast, put my heart right on the table as it were. (I propo...
(Quote) Daniel-900865 said:

I have a tendency to fall in love too fast, put my heart right on the table as it were. (I proposed to my late wife after knowing her for 4 weeks. We were married for 27 years!) I know from listening to the ladies at church that too fast tends to scare women off. How I reign in the horses so i dont ruin what could be great?

--hide--
Much depends on the woman's readiness. Timing is everything. My fiance only knew me for less than a month and started talking about marriage in a kidding way. I thought he was teasing but he was so persistent that I began wondering if he was really serious. I thought deeply about that as a possibility and the next time he asked, I told him to get ready for an answer because the next time he asked I would give him an answer. He never hesitated for a moment and immediately asked if I would marry him and I said yes!!! We will be married this month. When we took our test for pre-Cana we showed a great deal of agreement on most topics and the facilitators said we seemed to be very well matched. Just be sure that you and the lady share values, your faith, and that the attraction is much more than the physical. If she is widowed, like yourself, be sure she has had time to grieve sufficiently. "Reigning in the horses" is hard to do when your heart is saying "Go for it!" The approach that worked for me was keeping it light and teasing, then dropping the subject. He also began mentioning things we could do together "someday" which helped me to keep seeing that he planned to be in my life for a long time. If she is just beginning to date again, then she may not be ready to be serious. I had been widowed for 3 years and actively seeking a husband for 2. If you have been dating her for a month, don't be afraid to ask her how she feels about the relationship. Ask her does she think the time with you is going well? Ask if she is interested in just dating or does she want to find a husband. Women can and do commit as quickly as your deceased wife did and your 27 year track record speaks for itself! Remember to pray for the Lord to enlighten you as to how to proceed. And congratulations, Daniel, on finding a possible spouse, recognizing her as such, and being willing to give her your heart!!! theheart lovestruck! hug Praying rose

Oct 8th 2012 new
(Quote) Daniel-900865 said: I have a tendency to fall in love too fast, put my heart right on the table as it were. (I proposed to my late...
(Quote) Daniel-900865 said:

I have a tendency to fall in love too fast, put my heart right on the table as it were. (I proposed to my late wife after knowing her for 4 weeks. We were married for 27 years!) I know from listening to the ladies at church that too fast tends to scare women off. How I reign in the horses so i dont ruin what could be great?

--hide--


I tend to fall in love rather readily as well. I'm simply at ease with becoming emotionally...what is that word...vulnerable. Perhaps it is naivety, or perhaps I am naturally less guarded than the average modern.

With that said, every bad relationship that I plunged into, there was something gnawing away at my mind from the very beginning, telling me that there was something not right about it. I've come to listen for that warning, and listen to it.

With Rae, I only received silence and contentment, so I know she's the one.
Oct 8th 2012 new

I think it's sweet that you are willing to show your feelings. What you might try doing is expressing your feelings in ways that aren't too overt. It's all in the approach and pay attention to clues that she may be giving if she isn't on the same page.

Cat

(Quote) Daniel-900865 said: I have a tendency to fall in love too fast, put my heart right on the table as it were. (I propo...
(Quote) Daniel-900865 said:

I have a tendency to fall in love too fast, put my heart right on the table as it were. (I proposed to my late wife after knowing her for 4 weeks. We were married for 27 years!) I know from listening to the ladies at church that too fast tends to scare women off. How I reign in the horses so i dont ruin what could be great?

--hide--

Oct 9th 2012 new

Pray often for a clear mind and a calm and patient heart. smile

Oct 9th 2012 new

I say be yourself. Be sure it does not cross over into "stalker" behavior :) but if you are feeling it, life is too short at our age not to be yourself and put yourself out there, if you are feeling it. SHe either gets it, or she doesn't. If she doesn't, she was not for you.

Oct 9th 2012 new

(Quote) Daniel-900865 said: I have a tendency to fall in love too fast, put my heart right on the table as it were. (I propo...
(Quote) Daniel-900865 said:

I have a tendency to fall in love too fast, put my heart right on the table as it were. (I proposed to my late wife after knowing her for 4 weeks. We were married for 27 years!) I know from listening to the ladies at church that too fast tends to scare women off. How I reign in the horses so i don't ruin what could be great?

--hide--

There are women who like to ride wild horses Daniel! pinata laughing You may just have to fine a woman who is young at heart. CowGirl

Pay attention to two things;
one - what is it that you are falling in love with so quickly about each woman, does it make for short term or long term love?
And two - pay attention to what it was that worked so well for you and your wife for 27 years, there is nothing wrong with looking for those same qualities in another woman. Grief counseling may tell you otherwise but it really does Not mean you are looking for someone to remind you of your late wife, it just means "if it works, don't fix it". Unless you have changed drastically in the essense of who you are in the interim(?)

There is nothing wrong with letting someone know from the beginning who you are honestly, heart out on your sleeve is the only way to do it. As a woman, I always prefer it to being mislead flamed or to being left in the dark unknown recesses of a man's mind boggled which can be just as confusing as a woman's mind! laughing laughing laughing

Oct 9th 2012 new

Thanks to All answerers wave

Oct 9th 2012 new

(Quote) Pat-5351 said: I say be yourself. Be sure it does not cross over into "stalker" behavior :) but if you are...
(Quote) Pat-5351 said:

I say be yourself. Be sure it does not cross over into "stalker" behavior :) but if you are feeling it, life is too short at our age not to be yourself and put yourself out there, if you are feeling it. SHe either gets it, or she doesn't. If she doesn't, she was not for you.

--hide--


I agree with Pat and also think it is sweet that Patrick and the OP both like to express their love for someone quite readily. I think it is a nice to hear this for a change!!

Yes, express it.

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