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A place to learn, mingle, and share

This room is for those who have lost a spouse and need support or who can provide support to those who have.

Saint Paula is the patron saint of widows and Saint Stephen is the patron saint of deacons
Learn More: Saint Stephen and Saint Paula

Oct 13th 2012 new
Great question and good advice!
Oct 13th 2012 new

I have to agree with Maria....wonderful advice in each response. It is alot to think and pray on. I have become rather focused on Divine Will in the past few years, and believe that It will ultimately guide me. If my desire and intent is to abandon myself to His Will, I believe He will never fail me. This does not mean that I believe he wants me to remarry...He may not. I appreciate everyone's comments and imput! Again, I pray daily that when Our Lord knows I'm ready and if it is His Will, I will meet someone.
However; I agree with many here that if I find myself making comparisons constantly...perhaps I am not yet ready.

Oct 14th 2012 new

Well no one wants toxins in there body. Sounds like your Mom has been though it as we all go though something. I was venting and this really was not the site to do it. I just let eveyone know how I felt and thats awful. But I don't blame your Mom because its not safe out there and the word is trust with is hard today and the way things are in the world. All I have to say is be very careful in your chosing. God Bless you !

Oct 14th 2012 new

Opps the last massage was in response to Kathy-635104 . Thank you

Oct 15th 2012 new

(Quote) Brenda-895474 said: Sorry for the writng but my eyes were teary at the time.
(Quote) Brenda-895474 said:

Sorry for the writng but my eyes were teary at the time.

--hide--
No apologies expected or needed. This is perfectly normal, and something that will occur from time to time. We can't erase all of the memories that were shared -- nor would we want to. No one should ask you to. Occasionally, reminders will pop up that trigger an emotional response from you. Don't try to hold back or fiight it -- just let it happen. You have good reasons to feel sad and emotional from time to time. Fortunately, as time passes, these occurences will be diminished.

For now you aren't looking for a romantic involvement with anyone, and that's perfectly understandable. That might change -- or it might not. You may be contented with devoted companionship which is something to treasure.

All of these circumstances (losing a spouse) result in changes for us -- both interior and exterior. We use the time in between to re-invent ourselves, take stock of who we are and try to figure out the best path for the future. To make major decisions while still in a highly emotional state isn't recommended unless circumstances force an issue. A lot of good can come from this period of time in your life -- reducing the sadness, and finding new ways to enjoy yourself, along with meeting and making new friends, and much more.

All-in-all, we still have a lot to be thankful for.

Oct 17th 2012 new

Christina for me it was very hard to date after loosing my husband, I know I tried 4 years later decide to be friends with a gentleman that was very involved with the church and so was I.. Sometimes he would take me out for Dinner after Mass and we start to have some feelings for each other but it didn't work out because no intentionally but I would call him by my husband name he didn't like it and I didn't blame him I was always comparing him and it was not fair, I do now realized that it eventually that would of gone way and we could of been very happy but it wasn't in Gods plan..this gentleman was ready to get married and he found a nice lady in church.

So here I am 18 years later I feel emotional different that I was then and life goes on we can not live in the past but the future can be great and a happy one.

For those of you that are widows or widowers give yourselves time don't rush God has a plan for of those who trust him and in time you will see the results.

God Bless.
D.G.

Oct 17th 2012 new

Christina for me it was very hard to date after loosing my husband, I know I tried 4 years later decide to be friends with a gentleman that was very involved with the church and so was I.. Sometimes he would take me out for Dinner after Mass and we start to have some feelings for each other but it didn't work out because no intentionally but I would call him by my husband name he didn't like it and I didn't blame him I was always comparing him and it was not fair, I do now realized that it eventually that would of gone way and we could of been very happy but it wasn't in Gods plan..this gentleman was ready to get married and he found a nice lady in church.

So here I am 18 years later I feel emotional different that I was then and life goes on we can not live in the past but the future can be great and a happy one.

For those of you that are widows or widowers give yourselves time don't rush God has a plan for of those who trust him and in time you will see the results.

God Bless.
D.G.

Oct 17th 2012 new

OPPS I wonder what happen I send the same message twice :-)

Oct 18th 2012 new

(Quote) Dacia-777603 said: OPPS I wonder what happen I send the same message twice :-)
(Quote) Dacia-777603 said:

OPPS I wonder what happen I send the same message twice :-)

--hide--


Thank you for your note, I think can see that you can relate to my worries. Thanks for accidentally sending it twice...maybe I needed to hear it twice!

Dec 15th 2012 new

I don't see how you can avoid comparing. In a way, you need to. I thought my wife was the best ever. and in some ways she will always be. But I've seen strengths and beauties I was not even aware of in others - Strengths my Aimee didn't have. You look to the past with your beloved and you try to discern what charictaristics you found most desireable, and you look for those things in your new love. Your new love will have his own unique set of strengths and charms. Different, but wonderful. There's no point in looking for a clone, just look for the one God wants you to have. And He will have the gifts and strengths and charms that you want and need for this stage in your life.

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