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Devoted to discussion pertaining to those issues which are specifically relevant to people 45+. Topics must have a specific perspective of people in this age group for it to be on topic.

The story of Abraham and Sarah is told in chapters 11-25 of the book of Genesis.
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I'm trying to gauge what others believe is a long distance relationship. It really stuns me to find women contacting me from 800 miles away. I even had emotigrams this week from someone in Mexico and another from Spain. It seems silly to me.


I dated someone from this site for four months; she was 50 miles away. It became very one sided and frustrating. I was doing 95% of the traveling. We tried to talk each day but sometimes it just wasn't possible.


How are the rest of you doing with this. A common complaint I hear is there isn't anyone I found that is close to home. I agree.


Although it is great for the ego wink to have someone interested in you from another country, it's just not realistic.

Oct 20th 2012 new
(Quote) Joe-787295 said: I'm trying to gauge what others believe is a long distance relationship. It really stuns me to find women con...
(Quote) Joe-787295 said:

I'm trying to gauge what others believe is a long distance relationship. It really stuns me to find women contacting me from 800 miles away. I even had emotigrams this week from someone in Mexico and another from Spain. It seems silly to me.




I dated someone from this site for four months; she was 50 miles away. It became very one sided and frustrating. I was doing 95% of the traveling. We tried to talk each day but sometimes it just wasn't possible.




How are the rest of you doing with this. A common complaint I hear is there isn't anyone I found that is close to home. I agree.




Although it is great for the ego to have someone interested in you from another country, it's just not realistic.

--hide--


To me a Long Distance Relationship is when two people talk, discern interest, make a decision to talk on the phone, eventually decide to meet in person. When I was in an LDR decisions as to when to travel & who was traveling to see the other were made as a mutual decision. I know others may have their own ideas as to who pays but for me the choice of who pays is something discussed up front with the person you are communicating with. And it is an individual decision, I am not sure you can put that in a box.

I did notice that today there is another success story of a young lady who was not open to LDR and had been on here from some time until she turned the choice over to God & prayed the Holy Spirit would guide her.

Hope this helps you & anyone else questioning why you would want to try an LDR. Are they easy? No, when something happens in your life that you would normally want that significant other to be there in person for you, you are stuck with either spending money to be there or talking on the phone. But with God even little things can be overcome....

scratchchin
Oct 20th 2012 new

(Quote) Joe-787295 said: I'm trying to gauge what others believe is a long distance relationship. It really stuns me to ...
(Quote) Joe-787295 said:

I'm trying to gauge what others believe is a long distance relationship. It really stuns me to find women contacting me from 800 miles away. I even had emotigrams this week from someone in Mexico and another from Spain. It seems silly to me.


I dated someone from this site for four months; she was 50 miles away. It became very one sided and frustrating. I was doing 95% of the traveling. We tried to talk each day but sometimes it just wasn't possible.


How are the rest of you doing with this. A common complaint I hear is there isn't anyone I found that is close to home. I agree.


Although it is great for the ego to have someone interested in you from another country, it's just not realistic.

--hide--

Joe, a fifty-miles-distance-relationship hasn't worked, why not let go and take up the challenge knight-errant of a LDR? It all depends on your and her expectations. Even if it doesn't end in front of the altar, it's great to make and have new friends.

The Blog is full of LDR stories and Donna got a long list of those who found and got married. So it IS possible if one takes up the challenge and goes out of one's way. Take of your blinders >>and all men who have << them on . There are many many real nice ladies Battling eyelashes CowGirl lady's handkerchief Go USA Rolling Along lady's handkerchief flower on CM with a great spirit and intellect and in all age groups - the heart counts.

Oct 20th 2012 new
(Quote) Brenda-74660 said: To me a Long Distance Relationship is when two people talk, discern interest, make a decision to talk on t...
(Quote) Brenda-74660 said:

To me a Long Distance Relationship is when two people talk, discern interest, make a decision to talk on the phone, eventually decide to meet in person. When I was in an LDR decisions as to when to travel & who was traveling to see the other were made as a mutual decision. I know others may have their own ideas as to who pays but for me the choice of who pays is something discussed up front with the person you are communicating with. And it is an individual decision, I am not sure you can put that in a box.



I did notice that today there is another success story of a young lady who was not open to LDR and had been on here from some time until she turned the choice over to God & prayed the Holy Spirit would guide her.



Hope this helps you & anyone else questioning why you would want to try an LDR. Are they easy? No, when something happens in your life that you would normally want that significant other to be there in person for you, you are stuck with either spending money to be there or talking on the phone. But with God even little things can be overcome....



--hide--


My LDR lasted seven years & it was in St Louis MO so it was either a very long road trip or flying to see the other. scratchchin While it did not end in marriage I am very thankful for the support I was given at a time I needed someone to talk to.
Oct 20th 2012 new
I guess it all depends on individual perceptions on what long distance really means. I have travelled so much and lived abroad that to me frontiers are a hop on a plane away or a long drive. Not a big deal. I have lived really exciting long distance relationships and the reasons they did not work out were not distance related. You just need to be honest on how much will you are ready to put into it. Let's face it, maybe your significant other does not live in your same city or town.
Oct 20th 2012 new

(Quote) Brenda-74660 said: To me a Long Distance Relationship is when two people talk, discern interest, make a decision to...
(Quote) Brenda-74660 said:

To me a Long Distance Relationship is when two people talk, discern interest, make a decision to talk on the phone, eventually decide to meet in person. When I was in an LDR decisions as to when to travel & who was traveling to see the other were made as a mutual decision. I know others may have their own ideas as to who pays but for me the choice of who pays is something discussed up front with the person you are communicating with. And it is an individual decision, I am not sure you can put that in a box.

I did notice that today there is another success story of a young lady who was not open to LDR and had been on here from some time until she turned the choice over to God & prayed the Holy Spirit would guide her.

Hope this helps you & anyone else questioning why you would want to try an LDR. Are they easy? No, when something happens in your life that you would normally want that significant other to be there in person for you, you are stuck with either spending money to be there or talking on the phone. But with God even little things can be overcome....

--hide--


Brenda I like your response. With God little and big things can be overcome.... wave



Oct 20th 2012 new

"Long Distance" is a rather subjective term. 50 miles might be considered long distance to some people, while 150 + might be considered long distance. I would think that anything that takes longer than a day to travel both ways, and spend adequate time with someone would be "long distance". And, it depends on the city too. San Antonio is a big city out outer loop (highway) is a 96 mile circle around the city. I've driven 40 miles from my house and still been in San Antonio. So, by that definition (according to some) I could be in a long distance relationship with someone in my own city! wide eyed

Cat

Oct 20th 2012 new

(Quote) Cat-163322 said: "Long Distance" is a rather subjective term. 50 miles might be considered long distance t...
(Quote) Cat-163322 said:

"Long Distance" is a rather subjective term. 50 miles might be considered long distance to some people, while 150 + might be considered long distance. I would think that anything that takes longer than a day to travel both ways, and spend adequate time with someone would be "long distance". And, it depends on the city too. San Antonio is a big city out outer loop (highway) is a 96 mile circle around the city. I've driven 40 miles from my house and still been in San Antonio. So, by that definition (according to some) I could be in a long distance relationship with someone in my own city!

Cat

--hide--



Very true, Cat, and that could be said about any large city, or the traffic hassles and safety certainly make one think twice about whether it's worth it or not! wide eyed

To answer your question, Joe, I'm beginning to think that it's about how YOU (male) define a LDR, because you will be flipping the bill for most of it. I agree with those who say that things should be discussed beforehand, or early after you meet. I agree that you as the male should not have to do all of the traveling, but it really does depend on each particular circumstance. Also discuss (pretty early) who is going to relocate? I've seen relationships end here because of not discussing the basics before too much of an attachment occurred. I also strongly recommend to give it up to God, He can remove any obstacles if He deems that the two of you should be together. heart

Oct 20th 2012 new

It all depends on what we are willing to do for obtaining that final goal of a mate from God, it takes three, you, your interest and God, if He wills it it will work out, we each just have to do our part. Heck 50 miles is nothing in my opinion, but it is a problem if it's one sided, even a local relationship wouldn't work ONE sided period! God bless you for all who at least try, it's sad that here we are on a dating site and some don't even want to leave their computers. Go figure!

Oct 21st 2012 new

(Quote) Joe-787295 said: I'm trying to gauge what others believe is a long distance relationship. It really stuns me to ...
(Quote) Joe-787295 said:

I'm trying to gauge what others believe is a long distance relationship. It really stuns me to find women contacting me from 800 miles away. I even had emotigrams this week from someone in Mexico and another from Spain. It seems silly to me.


I dated someone from this site for four months; she was 50 miles away. It became very one sided and frustrating. I was doing 95% of the traveling. We tried to talk each day but sometimes it just wasn't possible.


How are the rest of you doing with this. A common complaint I hear is there isn't anyone I found that is close to home. I agree.


Although it is great for the ego to have someone interested in you from another country, it's just not realistic.

--hide--


Long distance relationship ...thank you for making me laugh! Realistic or not, long distance is a factor in love, friendship, and family.

No matter where I have lived when in high school, college, right after college, Tokyo, caring for my Momma and grad school, London, Knoxville, and now Singapore ... just going to see friends could be a 50 mile drive one way. The gentleman I dated for a year and eight months before God re-opened the pathway to international education lived on the other side of the city - in regular normal traffic, it would take 30 minutes to reach each other's houses. Factor in a normal Friday night date and you have rush hour traffic on both sides ....

Distance doesn't matter in today's world of technology. Yes, one may not be able to see the one they love ---or are discerning what the next steps of the courtship are --- on a weekly basis or exactly when he or she wants to see them; but be creative. One of the gentleman I dated while in Tokyo was very creative. He was from the New York office and travelled to London, Hong Kong, Korea, Tokyo, and others while we dated (met in Tokyo) for a year and a bit. E-mails, real snail letters, phone calls, surprise visits, plane tickets and time off arranged with my boss ahead of time, ... chess games against each other on computer while talking on the phone, SKYPE dinner dates, long walks around Tokyo with a map he sent with some of our favourite places ... and we have mutual friends, so the guys joined in making the romantic gestures or inner-office deliveries on some last minute ideas --chocolates, delivery of food from our friend's restaurant for the SKYPE dinner dates or asking me to join them for a night out and he being there as a surprise visit ...

The person that God created for each of us is somewhere out there. A friend asked me about my plans for the holidays. I shared that I wasn't 100 percent yet how I was going to use my three weeks beyond a visit to New York. My next question was a big why? My friend shook his head and waited for me to figure out what he was asking. (Ok, he has known me forever.) It took me a moment; yet, I saw where he was going with it. In my profession as a teacher, I may not be able to take four day weekends or plan a vacation any month of the year. Yet, in my profession, I do have extended holidays throughout the year. Which means whether I am in the US teaching or Singapore teaching, I have some preset holidays ... holidays that one is able to plan around effectively. For example, here in Singapore, I am in school 11 weeks and then we have a two week break. I am in school another 10 weeks and am off 3 weeks for Christmas. In school for x amount of weeks and then have a week break for Chinese New Year. In school about another 8 weeks and then there is a 2 week holiday. In school about 11 more weeks and school is out for six weeks.
... Meaning, no matter where you are in the world, if the person is the one for you, the two of you can be creative about planning time in your day, week, month to "see" each other.

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