(Quote) Joe-787295 said:
I'm trying to gauge what others believe is a long distance relationship. It really stuns me to ...
(Quote) Joe-787295 said:
I'm trying to gauge what others believe is a long distance relationship. It really stuns me to find women contacting me from 800 miles away. I even had emotigrams this week from someone in Mexico and another from Spain. It seems silly to me.
I dated someone from this site for four months; she was 50 miles away. It became very one sided and frustrating. I was doing 95% of the traveling. We tried to talk each day but sometimes it just wasn't possible.
How are the rest of you doing with this. A common complaint I hear is there isn't anyone I found that is close to home. I agree.
Although it is great for the ego to have someone interested in you from another country, it's just not realistic.
Long distance relationship ...thank you for making me laugh! Realistic or not, long distance is a factor in love, friendship, and family.
No matter where I have lived when in high school, college, right after college, Tokyo, caring for my Momma and grad school, London, Knoxville, and now Singapore ... just going to see friends could be a 50 mile drive one way. The gentleman I dated for a year and eight months before God re-opened the pathway to international education lived on the other side of the city - in regular normal traffic, it would take 30 minutes to reach each other's houses. Factor in a normal Friday night date and you have rush hour traffic on both sides ....
Distance doesn't matter in today's world of technology. Yes, one may not be able to see the one they love ---or are discerning what the next steps of the courtship are --- on a weekly basis or exactly when he or she wants to see them; but be creative. One of the gentleman I dated while in Tokyo was very creative. He was from the New York office and travelled to London, Hong Kong, Korea, Tokyo, and others while we dated (met in Tokyo) for a year and a bit. E-mails, real snail letters, phone calls, surprise visits, plane tickets and time off arranged with my boss ahead of time, ... chess games against each other on computer while talking on the phone, SKYPE dinner dates, long walks around Tokyo with a map he sent with some of our favourite places ... and we have mutual friends, so the guys joined in making the romantic gestures or inner-office deliveries on some last minute ideas --chocolates, delivery of food from our friend's restaurant for the SKYPE dinner dates or asking me to join them for a night out and he being there as a surprise visit ...
The person that God created for each of us is somewhere out there. A friend asked me about my plans for the holidays. I shared that I wasn't 100 percent yet how I was going to use my three weeks beyond a visit to New York. My next question was a big why? My friend shook his head and waited for me to figure out what he was asking. (Ok, he has known me forever.) It took me a moment; yet, I saw where he was going with it. In my profession as a teacher, I may not be able to take four day weekends or plan a vacation any month of the year. Yet, in my profession, I do have extended holidays throughout the year. Which means whether I am in the US teaching or Singapore teaching, I have some preset holidays ... holidays that one is able to plan around effectively. For example, here in Singapore, I am in school 11 weeks and then we have a two week break. I am in school another 10 weeks and am off 3 weeks for Christmas. In school for x amount of weeks and then have a week break for Chinese New Year. In school about another 8 weeks and then there is a 2 week holiday. In school about 11 more weeks and school is out for six weeks.
... Meaning, no matter where you are in the world, if the person is the one for you, the two of you can be creative about planning time in your day, week, month to "see" each other.