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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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What do you think?

Nov 4th 2012 new

I know that there have been discussions about emotigrams and what to write when sending a message to someone who peeks your interest. I was wondering who should send the first message......men or women? Does it matter? Do guys like a woman to send them messages? Do they respond to them or do they like to be the ones sending the messages? Do women like to send messages? If so when you send them do men respond? Do more relationships result when men send the first message? I had a friend who met her husband on an online dating site ( not CM). She said you should let the man be the one to initiate because then you know he is interested. She said she never sent the first message. She did get married. Her husband sent her the first message. That is just her opinion and experience. What do CM members think?

Nov 4th 2012 new

When I joined this site 3 years ago I was more of the belief that who initiated communication mattered, and that the guy should be the one who did the initiating. However, during the course of these 3 years I have come to realize that who initiates communication is less important than that someone actually does so.


By and large, I do believe that most ladies on this site prefer to be contacted first, although a significant number are also very willing to be the ones to initiate. As the faces change around here so do the percentages of those who prefer one behavior over the other. I've never had any issue with being contacted first, although that number is minuscule in comparison to the number who I have attempted to contact first. Of course, most were never replied to, but that never discouraged me from replying to nearly every message that has been sent to me. I'm certain that I may have missed replying to one every so often, but not many, and never on purpose.


Do more relationships result from the guy initiating communication? Probably, because overall guys are still more apt to be the ones to initiate communication on a continual basis, while ladies tend to be far more selective as to who they will attempt to initiate contact with.


Either way, communicating with the ladies of CM during the 3 years that I have been here have been fun, despite the fact that I'm still here after nearly 3 years. I would strongly recommend that anyone - guy or gal - stop being afraid to either send a message or reply to one that has been sent to them. What's the worst that can happen? I, personally, may no longer be initiating communications, but that's only because my time here on CM is drawing to a close and I see no useful purpose in doing so. If I was staying I likely wouldn't be posting on this thread right now - I'd be sending emotes and messages. biggrin


theheart

Nov 4th 2012 new

Oops... I just realized I posted in CM's retirement home! ashamed My apologies. embarassed

Nov 4th 2012 new

(Quote) Victor-544727 said: Oops... I just realized I posted in CM's retirement home! My apologies.
(Quote) Victor-544727 said:

Oops... I just realized I posted in CM's retirement home! My apologies.

--hide--
Thanks a lot, Victor.... irked laughing

Nov 4th 2012 new

(Quote) Kathy-730470 said: I know that there have been discussions about emotigrams and what to write when sending a messag...
(Quote) Kathy-730470 said:

I know that there have been discussions about emotigrams and what to write when sending a message to someone who peeks your interest. I was wondering who should send the first message......men or women? Does it matter? Do guys like a woman to send them messages? Do they respond to them or do they like to be the ones sending the messages? Do women like to send messages? If so when you send them do men respond? Do more relationships result when men send the first message? I had a friend who met her husband on an online dating site ( not CM). She said you should let the man be the one to initiate because then you know he is interested. She said she never sent the first message. She did get married. Her husband sent her the first message. That is just her opinion and experience. What do CM members think?

--hide--


Hi Kathy, everyone should read the Roberta & Tom success story, an over 45 couple that became a success story. Roberta sent a wink and Tom responded. I can appreciate your post or those of others wondering who should take the first move but in reality, it doesn't matter in the end, as long as the connection is made. I have reached out many times to get a nice reply back or no reply at all but that's o.k. because it is what it is and they weren't the connection I was suppose to make. I learned to let go a long time ago as to whether I meet someone on CM or not. I have met wonderful people IRL both women as well as men and I took the phrase a long time ago, "take the best and leave the rest" that CM has to offer. Good luck in your search and don't be afraid to reach out, you just never know. Just remember to be discerning and don't take everything at face value until you have discerned enough of the person to know what they write and what they are IRL are the same.

Nov 4th 2012 new

(Quote) Kathy-730470 said: I know that there have been discussions about emotigrams and what to write when sending a message...
(Quote) Kathy-730470 said:

I know that there have been discussions about emotigrams and what to write when sending a message to someone who peeks your interest. I was wondering who should send the first message......men or women? Does it matter? Do guys like a woman to send them messages? Do they respond to them or do they like to be the ones sending the messages? Do women like to send messages? If so when you send them do men respond? Do more relationships result when men send the first message? I had a friend who met her husband on an online dating site ( not CM). She said you should let the man be the one to initiate because then you know he is interested. She said she never sent the first message. She did get married. Her husband sent her the first message. That is just her opinion and experience. What do CM members think?

--hide--
There are no hard and fast rules about this, so why get hung up about hard and fast rules that simply don't exist? Victor has covered your question quite well. Statistically, I have no idea about the success rate of women versus men starting the contact process. To me, personally, it makes no difference who initiates the contact. Nothing ventured; nothing gained.

A thought that occurs (yes, I get them occasionally) is that a man might not see a particular woman's profile, but she sees his. What's the harm in sending an emote? The worst that can happen is that you get no response, or are informed he's not interested.

There might be some women who have individual preferences, as is their prerogative, but anytime someone lays down conditions, they are limiting themselves. Again, some prefer to do that, and we have to respect their position.

My thoughts to everyone: Just go for it!!!

Nov 4th 2012 new

(Quote) Victor-544727 said: Oops... I just realized I posted in CM's retirement home! My apolo...
(Quote) Victor-544727 said:

Oops... I just realized I posted in CM's retirement home! My apologies. eyepopping wide eyed

--hide--


There is much to learn in a "retirement home" Victor and there are some women who post in this room that are even within your age range laughing

The older the wine the better the taste shhh

Nov 4th 2012 new

(Quote) Mary-25961 said: There is much to learn in a "retirement home" Victor and there are some women who...
(Quote) Mary-25961 said:



There is much to learn in a "retirement home" Victor and there are some women who post in this room that are even within your age range

The older the wine the better the taste

--hide--


The older the cocoa the more hollow the chocolate! tongue


theheart

Nov 4th 2012 new

Hmmmm good responses. Victor I meant to post this in the singles forum as the question applies to everyone. Age is irrevelant. LOL

Nov 4th 2012 new

Ray so you think you should just go for it? It doesn't matter whether it is the woman or man who sends the first message? Makes no difference?

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