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This room is for supportive and informative discussion about divorce and/or the annulment process. All posters must have been previously divorced or annulled.

Saint Eugene De Mazenod is patron of dysfunctional families & Saint Fabiola obtained a divorce from her first husband prior to devoting her life to charitable works.
Learn More: Saint Eugene De Mazenod and Saint Fabiola

Nov 6th 2012 new

(Quote) Jerry-74383 said: The pressing circumstances may get the case moved to the top of the stack and started soo...
(Quote) Jerry-74383 said:

The pressing circumstances may get the case moved to the top of the stack and started sooner; however, the investigations, waiting for responses, interviews, etc. take time -- potentially a lot of time, depending on the circumstances. Showing up at the last minute and crying isn't going to change any of that.

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Are you saying that the Church will speed up the process for those who are engaged? Really? So those people who wait to get an annulment before even dating (IE trying to honor the teachings of the Church) are pushed to the bottom of the pile? I'm holding my tongue until I hear a response.

Nov 6th 2012 new

(Quote) Joanna-615441 said: Are you saying that the Church will speed up the process for those who are engaged? Really? ...
(Quote) Joanna-615441 said:


Are you saying that the Church will speed up the process for those who are engaged? Really? So those people who wait to get an annulment before even dating (IE trying to honor the teachings of the Church) are pushed to the bottom of the pile? I'm holding my tongue until I hear a response.

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Each diocese has their own marriage tribunal with their own policies and procedures. I have no first-hand knowledge of how any specific tribunal would handle this situation, but it wouldn't surprise me that at least some would try to expedite the process for pastoral reasons Others may not. And some may, if one is too obnoxious, allow the folder to slip to the bottom of the pile a few times...

With lack of form petitions, which are primarily an administrative process, there is probably some ability to expedite the process significantly. For regular petitions, a lot will depend on where in the process the petition sites. If the interviews have been completed and the statements submitted and there are no complications, it may be possible to move a folder from the bottom of a stack to the top and complete the process somewhat faster. If you're just submitting it -- fuhgetaboutit! Even if they want to, the tribunal isn't going to be able to speed up what is often the most time-consuming part of the process -- getting the information from outside parties.

While it may seem to place those who do the right thing at a disadvantage, keep in mind the Lord knows who did what and why. Those who do what is right and bear the wrongs graciously will receive abundant graces for doing so. Those who intentionally cheat the system will eventually be judged for such.

Nov 18th 2012 new

About annulment -- I would feel that to go down that path, I would need to twist truth, and that I will not do. I have read carefully the clauses for an annulment and I do not feel that they meet the facts of my ex-marriage. We were strong catholics, understood what we were doing, were sincere and were without pressure or misunderstanding. Our strong marriage lasted many years, but alas, an affair ended it (his). Are there others who feel that they also had well founded marriages that somehow feel apart many, many years later?

Nov 19th 2012 new

Jocelyn,

I would speak to someone with your local tribunal. I thought the same thing, but when I started going through the questions WITH her, she pointed out several issues that I did not realize were issues. It is worth looking into in any case. Best of luck heart

Nov 19th 2012 new
Yes Jocelyn there are others on here that feel the same way. My ex filed, not me. So I await the decision of the tribunal. Maybe there was something there I was not aware of. We shall see. I cant tell you what to do obviously, but I think sitting down and filling out the forms is worth the effort. It may help you recall things you didnt remember or may strengthen your resolve God Bless!!
Nov 19th 2012 new

yeah i don't understand this annulment stuff either, i always thought divorce was a mortal sin unless there is a really good reason for it like life threatening for spouse or children. And then Jesus says if you get a divorce you should stay by yourself. The divorces i see now a days are for goofy reasons, then they are backed up with annulments. Go figure

Nov 19th 2012 new

Thank you Tim. Deep in my heart, I really believe it would be a lie to file, but I will think about it.

Nov 19th 2012 new

Thank you. I will need to pray and meditate on it. I feel very uncomfortable about it though. Thanks again

Nov 28th 2012 new

(Quote) Jocelyn-917815 said: About annulment -- I would feel that to go down that path, I would need to twist truth, and tha...
(Quote) Jocelyn-917815 said:

About annulment -- I would feel that to go down that path, I would need to twist truth, and that I will not do. I have read carefully the clauses for an annulment and I do not feel that they meet the facts of my ex-marriage. We were strong catholics, understood what we were doing, were sincere and were without pressure or misunderstanding. Our strong marriage lasted many years, but alas, an affair ended it (his). Are there others who feel that they also had well founded marriages that somehow feel apart many, many years later?

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Have you called the Tribunal or spoke with your priest? If you both made a vow to one another to live together as man and wife until death do you part, well, then, it doesn't make any sense that your husband has divorced you. I'm not saying that an affair is a valid reason for an anullment. It's not. But you only know your heart. Perhaps it makes sense to discover your ex's true intentions as well.

Nov 28th 2012 new

(Quote) Jim-711092 said: yeah i don't understand this annulment stuff either, i always thought divorce was a mortal sin ...
(Quote) Jim-711092 said:

yeah i don't understand this annulment stuff either, i always thought divorce was a mortal sin unless there is a really good reason for it like life threatening for spouse or children. And then Jesus says if you get a divorce you should stay by yourself. The divorces i see now a days are for goofy reasons, then they are backed up with annulments. Go figure

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There often can be underlying issues that people carry around inside them for years that will cause them to eventually seek a divorce. You cannot be the judge and jury for someone elses marriage and divorce..What seems goofy to you isn't important because you cannot know what may have happened to that person that makes them unable to fulfill a lifelong commitment.

This is just an example.. One of the questions on my questionaire was "Did anyone try to talk you or your spouse out of getting married?" When I was standing up after finishing the meeting with my parish priest that question jumped out at me.. I remembered that my fiance (at the time) told me that his parents said we shouldn't get married because I was Catholic and they were not.. If anyone makes such a statement to you whether it be friend or family, it can create a doubt in your mind that you may carry for years. My priest said it was a 'Slam Dunk' statement if it could be proven.. As it was, I was raised in an alcoholic home and by the time I filed for annulment I had matured enough to realize that I had married to get away from home. But at the time I was 20 years old and I thought I was 'in love'.. I made the statement in my annulment essay that I married to have the kind of marriage my in-laws had, instead it was like the one my parents had. sad

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