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This room is dedicated to those who are facing the challenge of raising children without the support of a spouse. This is a place to share ideas and lend mutual support.

Saint Rita is known to be a patroness for abused wives and mourning women.
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eyepopping OK, so my husband signed for our daughter's Baptism saying that he would raise he Catholic. Then, when I converted, he became atheist - die hard, there is no God and you are stupid for believing atheist.


In the Parenting Plan, it states, and he agreed that she "will be raised Catholic" .


He is violating it at every turn giving her ahteist materials - shirt, pens, an a necklace, and talking to her about it. He's in violation of the court order, but isn't he also somehow in violation of a written contract, since he signed committing to raise her Catholic at her Baptism just 3 years ago?
Would my Diocese potentially help me on this?

11/06/2012 new

(Quote) Celia-821539 said: OK, so my husband signed for our daughter's Baptism saying that he would raise he Catholic. T...
(Quote) Celia-821539 said:

OK, so my husband signed for our daughter's Baptism saying that he would raise he Catholic. Then, when I converted, he became atheist - die hard, there is no God and you are stupid for believing atheist.

In the Parenting Plan, it states, and he agreed that she "will be raised Catholic" .

He is violating it at every turn giving her ahteist materials - shirt, pens, an a necklace, and talking to her about it. He's in violation of the court order, but isn't he also somehow in violation of a written contract, since he signed committing to raise her Catholic at her Baptism just 3 years ago?
Would my Diocese potentially help me on this?

--hide--



You should definitely go to your parish priest and discuss this with him. Hopefully he will be able to give you guidance from a Catholic perspective!

11/06/2012 new

(Quote) Dan-28682 said: You should definitely go to your parish priest and discuss this with him. Hopefully he w...
(Quote) Dan-28682 said:




You should definitely go to your parish priest and discuss this with him. Hopefully he will be able to give you guidance from a Catholic perspective!

--hide--



Thanks Dan. I just wasn't sure if this was something one goes to a pries about. He knows the situation, as far as how nasty all else went, but this is one that as a recent convert, I don't feel completely equipped to handle, and my attorney is not Catholic, so I don't think he "gets it".


I will call my priest first thing in the morning to ask to go in for an appointment to talk about this. Considering that he did sign things for the Catholic Church, I would really just think that means that at least he's in some sort of violation for signing it, then doing something so radically different. If the Church would help me stop his influence, it would surely relieve some stress.

11/06/2012 new

(Quote) Celia-821539 said: Thanks Dan. I just wasn't sure if this was something one goes to a pries about. He knows the ...
(Quote) Celia-821539 said:

Thanks Dan. I just wasn't sure if this was something one goes to a pries about. He knows the situation, as far as how nasty all else went, but this is one that as a recent convert, I don't feel completely equipped to handle, and my attorney is not Catholic, so I don't think he "gets it".

I will call my priest first thing in the morning to ask to go in for an appointment to talk about this. Considering that he did sign things for the Catholic Church, I would really just think that means that at least he's in some sort of violation for signing it, then doing something so radically different. If the Church would help me stop his influence, it would surely relieve some stress.

--hide--


Celia, your parish priest might not have all the answers, but he should be able to give you some good counsel. And also you should ask him for referrals for counseling, attorneys, etc. if you feel that is what you need. There are professional people available who can help you...if you need to get in touch with anyone of that nature, send me a message and I will see if I can help you find the right people

11/07/2012 new

(Quote) Celia-821539 said: He is violating it at every turn giving her ahteist materials - shirt, pens, an a necklace, a...
(Quote) Celia-821539 said:


He is violating it at every turn giving her ahteist materials - shirt, pens, an a necklace, and talking to her about it. He's in violation of the court order, but isn't he also somehow in violation of a written contract, since he signed committing to raise her Catholic at her Baptism just 3 years ago?
Would my Diocese potentially help me on this?

--hide--


No it won't. Don't even bother to try. That "contract" is completely unenforceable. The court order is another thing.


You're better off accepting that the ex is what he is and working around him. Don't diss him to your daughter. Love her. Answer her questions. give her some leeway to experiment. Do NOT force religion down her faith or the ex wins. Use only positive reinforcement and gentle logic. Most of all be a good example. eventually your daughter will see what a hateful jerk her atheist father is and how loving and consistent you've been. But if you really want to drive her away from the faith forever, be overbearing, bitter, and authoritarian about it.

11/07/2012 new

(Quote) David-364112 said: No it won't. Don't even bother to try. That "contract" is complete...
(Quote) David-364112 said:


No it won't. Don't even bother to try. That "contract" is completely unenforceable. The court order is another thing.


You're better off accepting that the ex is what he is and working around him. Don't diss him to your daughter. Love her. Answer her questions. give her some leeway to experiment. Do NOT force religion down her faith or the ex wins. Use only positive reinforcement and gentle logic. Most of all be a good example. eventually your daughter will see what a hateful jerk her atheist father is and how loving and consistent you've been. But if you really want to drive her away from the faith forever, be overbearing, bitter, and authoritarian about it.

--hide--



Well, part of that is easy enough and already being done. I never talk badly about him, always only tell her about loving things about the church, never tell her she HAS to "be" Catholic - nothing like that.

It's his portion I worry about. He used to ridicule me and be SO degrading if I even WENT to church much less if I said I believed, and she has indicated that he is doing the same to her. That and all the atheist materials is what I want to see change. I don't want my 9 year old to be made to feel like an idiot (yes, he makes a person feel about an inch tall) if she says she believes in God. Anything to do with church gets almost an interrogation. I'm trying to gently "pull" her, and on the other hand "push" him.


I wrote a letter to my Priest about it today, and copied some stuff that has found it's way into my home. We'll see if or what he has to say in advise.

12/13/2012 new

All through life our kids will have opinions and opportunities placed before them. I commend you for only talking kindly about your ex. The important part is to remember what you believe and to whom you belong. Then teach that to your daughter, sharing your faith and passion about Christ. As you do this, be sure to teach her about those other opinions that may be out there and why they may be there (fear, lack of knowledge, hurt, etc) and help her to find positive ways to respond. There are some great books that can help with this (& I'm drawing a blank at the moment). The catechism of course may address some issues as well. With regard to the original question, sadly, I don't think Canon Law will help. I am no expert by any means but I do own a canon law book and have read most of it. My recollection isn't triggering a help for you. You may have a standing however with your court order....call your attorney on that for advice.

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