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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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Nov 8th 2012 new

I absolutely agree with this and it is not about being a "alpha" male in the sense that a man has the respect of other men if he makes more money than them, or is a better athlete than them.

Any man can have the respect of other men if he has the personal qualities like have been stated above. It is in how you conduct yourself, and are you a man of honor.

If I can suggest it, it is the qualities/character that historically a man learned or built up during military service.

Here is story: in my old law firm, I was one of just a few women, and we would sit around and talk about all the male partners (all of whom were early baby boomers) and what was "wrong" with all of them. And as we went around the office, we came to one who was not: he was a good guy, a man of his word, funny, charismatic, and I went, huh, what could be the difference?

And it dawned on me: Jerry (the partner) was the only one who had been in Vietnam, or served any military service. All the rest were privileged, spoiled, college deferment guys, wily, could not be trusted...let's just put it this way: they were not men of honor.

So that is what I would say: cultivate values that are instilled in the US military, about service of others, honor, courage, responsibility, intergrity, and the women will absolutely notice.

Nov 8th 2012 new

(Quote) Pat-5351 said: I absolutely agree with this and it is not about being a "alpha" male in the sense that a m...
(Quote) Pat-5351 said:

I absolutely agree with this and it is not about being a "alpha" male in the sense that a man has the respect of other men if he makes more money than them, or is a better athlete than them.

Any man can have the respect of other men if he has the personal qualities like have been stated above. It is in how you conduct yourself, and are you a man of honor.

If I can suggest it, it is the qualities/character that historically a man learned or built up during military service.

Here is story: in my old law firm, I was one of just a few women, and we would sit around and talk about all the male partners (all of whom were early baby boomers) and what was "wrong" with all of them. And as we went around the office, we came to one who was not: he was a good guy, a man of his word, funny, charismatic, and I went, huh, what could be the difference?

And it dawned on me: Jerry (the partner) was the only one who had been in Vietnam, or served any military service. All the rest were privileged, spoiled, college deferment guys, wily, could not be trusted...let's just put it this way: they were not men of honor.

So that is what I would say: cultivate values that are instilled in the US military, about service of others, honor, courage, responsibility, intergrity, and the women will absolutely notice.

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I totally agree.

Nov 8th 2012 new

Gain the respect of men before seeking the love of women??


Sure, why not add anothe rimpoosible prerequisitie so none of us will ever hook up on this DATING site???


Are we sure this isn't the frumpish spinsters and confirmed bachelors club?

Nov 8th 2012 new

i'm starting to wonder. scratchchin

Nov 8th 2012 new

(Quote) John-184825 said: Even though the traits needed to gain the respect of men are not exactly the same as the qualities...
(Quote) John-184825 said:

Even though the traits needed to gain the respect of men are not exactly the same as the qualities required to win the heart of a woman, is it unlikely that a man who hasn't earned the respect of men will possess the package of characteristics needed to capture the love of a woman?

This is what blogger Luke Ford ( http://www.lukeford.net) said to men in this regard on November 4, 2012?

If you don’t have a woman in your life, the primary problem is likely not in how you interact with women, but in how you interact with men. If you are respected and admired by other men, the women will come. If you’re not, they won’t.

What do you think? Is this the missing "link" to the "pink"?

Wondering whether shouting, "Amen, amen, amen", over and over will make women more amenable,

John

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Absolutely. Women should observe how a man interacts with his male friends and whether he has gained their respect. More importantly to see what kind of friends he has. Is she comfortable around them?

Nov 8th 2012 new

(Quote) John-184825 said: Even though the traits needed to gain the respect of men are not exactly the same as the qualities...
(Quote) John-184825 said:

Even though the traits needed to gain the respect of men are not exactly the same as the qualities required to win the heart of a woman, is it unlikely that a man who hasn't earned the respect of men will possess the package of characteristics needed to capture the love of a woman?

This is what blogger Luke Ford ( http://www.lukeford.net) said to men in this regard on November 4, 2012?

If you don’t have a woman in your life, the primary problem is likely not in how you interact with women, but in how you interact with men. If you are respected and admired by other men, the women will come. If you’re not, they won’t.

What do you think? Is this the missing "link" to the "pink"?

Wondering whether shouting, "Amen, amen, amen", over and over will make women more amenable,

John

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laughing Very endearing. I will say it forever, everything is subjective to individuals. As they say, opposites attract. You really never know how it's going to go. I feel it's really about the man being outright confident enough, and that can be impacted by the respect said man gets from other men. Now, for online, how would a woman know one way or the other unless the man tells her himself? There can be traits a woman picks up on, depends on the woman.


I'll say this, all the women I've known that have/wanetd a good man wanted one that was confident, able to lead the household.

Nov 8th 2012 new

Lauren, very well said. I was thinking pretty much the same thing. The ability to trust someone on line and wheather or not they are being honest with you has to be something that you learn. I think going with your "gut" is so important as well. It is very hard to tell on-line what is real. At least in my experience it takes time to trust someone and get to know them.

Nov 8th 2012 new

(Quote) John-184825 said: Even though the traits needed to gain the respect of men are not exactly the same as the qualities...
(Quote) John-184825 said:

Even though the traits needed to gain the respect of men are not exactly the same as the qualities required to win the heart of a woman, is it unlikely that a man who hasn't earned the respect of men will possess the package of characteristics needed to capture the love of a woman?

This is what blogger Luke Ford ( http://www.lukeford.net) said to men in this regard on November 4, 2012?

If you don’t have a woman in your life, the primary problem is likely not in how you interact with women, but in how you interact with men. If you are respected and admired by other men, the women will come. If you’re not, they won’t.

What do you think? Is this the missing "link" to the "pink"?

Wondering whether shouting, "Amen, amen, amen", over and over will make women more amenable,

John

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I do not like this, but would think it could be true if you are mixing in a group.

Nov 8th 2012 new

(Quote) Marirose-887295 said: Ok, since I seem to think differently than other women you may not want my two cents. ...
(Quote) Marirose-887295 said:

Ok, since I seem to think differently than other women you may not want my two cents.

I completely agree with what the article says. I want a man that not afraid to be a man. Boys learn to be men from men. They learn how to treat other men with respect and in turn are treated with respect. I want a man I can respect because if he has earned the respect of men then he should have good qualities such as integrity, stable in his job and a leader. Also he would treat me with respect which would make me love him



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I agree with you Marirose.

Nov 9th 2012 new

(Quote) Kathy-635104 said: I'm not able to open the article, but I agree with the premise. When I think about men who ha...
(Quote) Kathy-635104 said:

I'm not able to open the article, but I agree with the premise. When I think about men who have the respect of other men, it is because they are responsible, funny and have a great deal of integrity. They help out and care about their friendships. The men I know are also knowledgeable in their field and are the guys you want on your team. All these things would transfer to a good partner.
When I think about the guys that aren't respected amongst their peers, regardless of financial status, they are dishonest, ego driven and rude. Their humor is often at the expense of others and they lead by intimidation. These are precisely the things women learn to avoid.
Do women notice these interactions? Yes, we do. If a man can't commit himself to good friendships, how will he be able to commit to a spouse?

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Hi Kathy,

Thanks for your feedback on this question. You brought out some more good points. Also I appreciate that you also replied to my inquiry about whether a man's interactions with other men was something that she specifically took notice of.

Starting to see that being a man among men comes before being a man among hens, eyebrow mischievous

John

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