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Holy Smokes! A great many assumptions being bandied about in here about people whose lives do not mirror what others consider "normal".
I agree with this. I know some people who have lived on their own straight out of high school and some who have lived with their parents for a decade after high school. Those who still live at home have jobs, but because of the economy they simply cannot afford to live on their own. It has nothing to do with the person, but the unfortunate situation they are in.
Case in point. My uncle was one of those people who lived on his own straight out of high school. He moved out to California for a number of years before he came back to live with my grandma because my grandpa had passed away so he moved back to help out his mom. He has always owned his own business, and was more than capable of living on his own, but he chose to stay with my grandma. He moved out about 10 years ago and now lives in his own house. So it's not always about a person in his/her twenties just bumming at home and not taking responsibility.
Couldn't agree more!!!! [I would shovel (you know what) if it was the only way to remain independent. I also have noticed that there seem to be a number of jobs that are "beneath" people these days. Personally, I would do whatever it takes to take care of myself and my family (within the realm of moral, of course).]
I agree too! There is no job beneath me. I would do whatever job I had to do in order to care for my family. I have been out of my parents home since I was 18. I have often had two or three jobs to make ends meet.
I would have to hear a persons story as to why they were living at home in order to understand their circumstance. I would not pass judgement simply based on their living at home.
People live at home for many different reasons. For myself, I had to pay off a large student loan after graduating grad school and that was my priority. Sure, some people would assume that living at home equated being dependent etc. which was totally not the case. I'd really spend some time getting to know the person and finding out their situation and not pass any judgment before doing that. Everyone has a story!! Just my 2 cents!:)
As a 2004 graduate that lives at home, I'll speak my peace: Less than 2 months after graduation, I sustained a 'severe traumatic brain injury.' While the cause of the injury is irrelevant and I seek no sympathy, I'm considered, 'high-functioning.' Nevertheless, I haven't been able to maintain full-time, competetive employment without getting fired, quitting or being laid off ... I moved out once post-injury, but then the layoff happened.
If one wants to describe me as 'immature,' that's their issue, not mine. I'd just as soon pack my bags to live in a 3rd world country than deal with some of the 'educated' people in this country. I've done my own laundry since 8th grade; help out with chores and general clean-up daily; chip in for incidentals and groceries.
I'll also note that I have family members living at home well into their 60s for one reason or another. In the traditional Italian family, one doesn't move out until marriage. I don't need to move, simple as that. I have sisters that moved out before marriage and continue to live on their own, independent of a spouse. Whether I get married or not doesn't matter much to me. It's ironic that I'm on this site.
Suffice it to say that a book should never be judged by its cover, despite society's idea of 'normal.' Check out the Tony award-winning musical, Next To Normal.
You've been corresponding for a while when your Catholic Match dream guy or gal tells you that he or she is still living at home with mom and dad. How do you react?
Would you view this as a positive or negative?
Do you see it as an inability to be independent, or a smart way to save money?
Is there a certain age where you think it is just unwise to stay at home, unless a sick parent needs care?
Personally, I've been there. I lived at home for a year after I graduated from college, and didn't see a problem with it (at least short term). I know plenty of young adults who still live at home because it makes more sense financially, until they at least get out of debt. I know I did struggle a bit with being independent when I was living at home. I was under Mom and Dad's roof, so Mom and Dad's rules still applied. I couldn't go out without telling anyone where I was going. Now that I have my own place, I have really learned to appreciate the independence that comes with it.
Someone in their thirties or forties lives at home and you ASSUME they are lazy, have no goals, have no ambition, are incapable and incompetent, and blah, blah, blah. That’s just as bad as ASSUMING that some one who lives on their own in the early twenties has absolutely no morals and moved out of the house in order to have random sex, consume excessive amounts of alcohol and do drugs without their parents knowing about it.
One’s living arrangements often have very little to do with their worthiness as a potential spouse, or more broadly, their worthiness as a human being.
There are cultures where unmarried adults are expected to remain at home until they take their vows. Unemployment is a serious issue for young adults who are often over-educated and no one will hire them full time and give them the same opportunities that previous generations enjoyed. There are divorced adults who have found themselves solely responsible for the children after the breakdown of the marriage, and move back in with their parents for financial and child care reasons. Sometimes divorce or other events lead to other difficulties, and finances become strained and moving back in with adult parents is the only option. Sometimes elderly parents want the independence and comfort of their own homes, but are not able to do so themselves, so adult children living with them help them out.
Judging someone negatively for loving their family is somewhat harsh, especially if you don’t know the facts. If it cramps your “dating style”, then maybe look at what your “dating style” is, and what you expect married family life to be like. Guess what? Caring for elderly relatives is likely going to be something that takes place during the marriage.
If someone is a certain age and they live at home, ask why. If you just assume they are unworthy, then it’s your loss.
I am currently living at home with my parents, and have done so for the last few years. My preference would be to live on my own.
The reason why I live at home at the moment is because in our city the vacancy rate for rental accomodation is less than 0.1 %, and developers are not building new appartments. I want to live in a clean and safe place. Housing and condo prices in our city jumped quite a bit due to a real estate bubble (here in Canada), and the competition to purchase homes has become fierce, with people making bids way over the asking price. Moreover, while I probably could purchase a home, it is rather expensive for a single person (mortgage, maintenance, utilities, car, insurance, increased living costs). Is it really worth it? If I were married and had children, yes of course, we would try to find a home or some accomodation, and there are ways to cut down the costs and still live comfortably.
There are pros and cons to living at home. Speaking in general terms, the pros are not being alone, having support, being able to increase ones savings, and having a roof over one's head. The cons are various. You are living with your parents in their house, not your own. So you play by their rules. It's also awkward to invite friends over. Often, I wanted to have friends over for dinner and various activities. Having your own place gives you space, privacy, and quiet, and the freedom to arrange your own activities with friends.
There are many reasons why people choose to live at home with their parents. There is nothing wrong with this. It's partly cultural, sometimes it's for financial reasons, etc.