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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Nov 11th 2012 new

(Quote) Kahirup-898887 said: The honesty of all responses is awesome! Keep it coming folks! Reading through all the r...
(Quote) Kahirup-898887 said:

The honesty of all responses is awesome! Keep it coming folks!

Reading through all the responses, how many of those "turn offs" do I have in my profile? Maybe it's time for an overhaul and self-improvement :-)

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We should all be open to self-improvement! biggrin

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Nov 11th 2012 new

Not all these carry the same amount of "weight" but here are some things that make me go "Hmmmm..."


- Anyone whose profile begins by merely repeating the demographic information listed lower down in the profile I assume is just trying to meet the "About Me" character requirement so they can browse profiles. (Ex: I am 6'1 and have brown hair...) Automatic skip.

- A big age difference.

- A profile picture that looks waaaaay younger than all the other pictures, or someone whose age/pictures suspiciously do not seem to match. Sometimes you just gotta wonder. Not everybody online is honest about who they are. As the truth generally comes out eventually, I just wonder what some people hope to gain by starting off on a deceptive foot. Be honest. Be who you are.

- No smiling in any pictures.

- All pictures quite obviously taken in a bathroom mirror... especially a public bathroom. (Do people not realize we can see the bathroom stalls behind them reflected in the mirror? A minor issue, but still. Ick.)

- Poor grammar, spelling, punctuation, etc.

- No to the 7/7 questions, or finding out later when we actually talk that their interpretation of saying "Yes" (especially to the pre-marital sex and contraception questions) is more like "Yes, I believe the Catholic Church teaches that, and it's nice in theory" or "Yes, I'm okay if you believe that and want to do that... but I'm also totally okay with not following those teachings." Ya, I have no desire to single-handedly be the Chastity Police or deflect later "suggestions" or "reminders" that they're okay with not following those teachings. It's hard enough to try to live a holy life without having to play defense against your significant other. Most of all, if I get run over by a bus and my children are going to be raised without my being there, I want to know that they're going to be taught authentic Catholic teaching on those matters, not relativism. Again, be honest. Be who you are.

- And perhaps this sounds a little weird considering I want a very Catholic marriage, but I don't like it when there is no mention of non-spiritual matters in someone's profile. If praying and reading scripture, etc. were the only things I wanted to do with my time, I'd probably be behind some convent walls and not here on Catholic Match. I'm looking for balance.




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Nov 11th 2012 new

Kahirup, I think the "Temperament" test is very important. When I've asked someone to take the test I've never gotten a response. Now I pass if it's not completed. It just might be because of my age and knowing how I relate to different temperaments. Also, as mentioned, a picture is helpful as well as letting your personality shine as much as possible. Put as much out there as you are comfortable with.biggrin

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Nov 11th 2012 new

(Quote) Kahirup-898887 said: While this may sound bordering on the negative, that really is not the intention of this thread...
(Quote) Kahirup-898887 said:

While this may sound bordering on the negative, that really is not the intention of this thread. A number of threads already explored ideas on how to make one's profile attractive and hence possibly increase the chances of meeting more people, so why not explore the other side of the coin. I just wish to know what will make you skip a profile? or what's in a profile that turns you off? The "weak" points in our profile will identify areas that need improvement. The more specific your comments, the better it is. So keep it coming.

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If he is not in agreement with the seven Church teachings; and if he lives a long distance away from me, and he mentions that he prefers his own location sad

If his politics are liberal, no thanks -- I deal with liberals and progressives enough as it is, I don't need that in a boyfriend;

If he does not make mention of enjoying the out-of-doors in some way, then, bye-bye wave

If he doesn't list enjoying classical note music along with other forms of note music, then he and I won't be very compatible in that realm note

Great post, Kahirup ... thank you!

heart

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Nov 11th 2012 new

Kahirup, I just read your profile and you are very straight forward, honest and intelligent. I think you put forth a good profile, one that is you. Since it's CM the Faith 7/7 (or even a 7/6) questions will probably be the most difficult to match up unless you willing to compromise upward on your numbers, but must be sincere. The next issue is smoking since there is such an effort to stop smoking in this country. You asked for honest comments and this is what I would tell my own children or grandchildren. Much success to you.theheart

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Nov 11th 2012 new

(Quote) Eloise-899090 said: Kahirup, I just read your profile and you are very straight forward, honest and intelligent. I t...
(Quote) Eloise-899090 said:

Kahirup, I just read your profile and you are very straight forward, honest and intelligent. I think you put forth a good profile, one that is you. Since it's CM the Faith 7/7 (or even a 7/6) questions will probably be the most difficult to match up unless you willing to compromise upward on your numbers, but must be sincere. The next issue is smoking since there is such an effort to stop smoking in this country. You asked for honest comments and this is what I would tell my own children or grandchildren. Much success to you.

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Thanks Eloise. Your comment is very much appreciated!

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Nov 11th 2012 new

(Quote) Elisabeth-916432 said: "Girls with kids"... First I would say women with kids because I suppo...
(Quote) Elisabeth-916432 said:


"Girls with kids"... First I would say women with kids because I suppose we're all adults here . And second that's really rude. Sorry but no sorry! Unless you know people and their past you can't blame someone for having kids. What if she is a widow? Can't she marry again? Same for men. I understand people who don't want to get into relationships with someone who have kids but the say you've said is the biggest turn off I've ever seen.

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I think the guy who started this thread was asking for what was a turn off to each of us and not asking people to nitpick or criticize other people's answers. I agree with some of the women's replies and disagree with others -- but I did not criticize them for having an opinion different than my own. Charity...

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Nov 11th 2012 new

Roger that. But if you look at my post properly you will notice I also said : "I understand people who don't want to get into relationships with someone who have kids but the say you've said is the biggest turn off I've ever seen." Everyone is entitled to their opinion but their is still a certain way to say things esepcially sensitive thing like that.

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Nov 11th 2012 new

No profile pic or poor quality one.

Living a long way away is not an automatic turn off but weighs heavily on me as it means we'll see each other in person much less which (for me) makes getting to know her and discernment harder.

Liberal political beliefs.

Not being 7/7.

Smoking.

Being unusually over-weight. (I'm sure I'll catch flak for this but at least I'm a guy honest enough to say it)!

No "seeking" section because she did not bother to fill that out.

Extremely long lists of "must haves" indicating this person is so particular that no guy will ever likely be compatible.

Note: I don't begrudge anyone to have any of the above -- it's not "wrong" -- just a turn off to me which is what the author was asking for.

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Nov 11th 2012 new

(Quote) Eric-114571 said: Note: I don't begrudge anyone to have any of the above -- it's not "wrong" -...
(Quote) Eric-114571 said:


Note: I don't begrudge anyone to have any of the above -- it's not "wrong" -- just a turn off to me which is what the author was asking for.

--hide--


wink

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