(Quote) Sue-685340 said:
I have a 14 year old son who has ADHD. He lost his father (my sposue) to esophageal cancer at 1 1/2...
(Quote) Sue-685340 said:
I have a 14 year old son who has ADHD. He lost his father (my sposue) to esophageal cancer at 1 1/2 years ago, and this has been a part of our lives that shook us both down to the last neuron. Grief, loss, depression and ADHD symptoms hae followed him and depression for me since that time. He is in a residential treatment center, and making some progress, but regressed alot this weekend. Technology is an obsession with him (IPODS). I pray that he gets better and I am able to parent him, but there have been so many problems that are brought up from the past when battle (conflict) ensues. He held up a knife to his kneck today, and I was afraid he would really hurt himself. Please pray for my son and any advice for me what be really a blessing. Thank you for your kindness.
First of all, Sue -- we would like to welcome you to the CM forums. As you have noticed, it's a good place to bring your problems, seek advice, receive support, and much, much more. We hope you will join us often although I'm sure your time is limited.
You come here at a time of trouble. No doubt there will be someone who has expertise in situations such as yours. Patricia and Peter have offered sound suggestions for yourself -- try to find a support group for parents with a similar situation. The problem with ADHD is that people are different -- so is their response to treatment and medication. In some cases, particularly when in a treatment center, patients are overmedicated in an effort to keep them calm. This is not always successful and can produce some undesirable side effects. The problem is more complex because of the need to deal with grief and depression. Meds are complicated and often need to be switched to find something that is effective. As with many other problems, a patient might take a step forward, then 2 steps back. Progress and continuity are sometimes strangers. I'm aware of one case where the young man had his ADHD meds discontinued and his condition improved afterward.
Have you done any research online about ADHD? I'm sure there are reliable medical sources that might provide some insight, possibly comfort. There is probably some literature (books, booklets, etc.) written in plain English that may help.
Also, I'm wondering if your son has been examined by more than one person specializing in this field? I would think so, but, in the event he hasn't, it might be advisable. I'm sure you would prefer to have him at home with you if his condition becomes manageable. How is your son adapting in the treatment center overall? Is there some hostility on his part because he can't be at home? Is he allowed to have home visits occasionally, such as weekends and/or holidays?
Being a single parent is no easy task, as we are well aware. It's a tiring job even when everything is going as well as can be expected. Having a youngster with serious medical issues certainly adds to the burden.
For yourself, are you putting aside some "me" time? It's vital for your own well being. If your Church offers Eucharistic Adoration, you might feel a great relief from daily stress by having some private time with the Lord, communicating with Him (and allowing Him to communicate with you). It's a peaceful, warm atmosphere that many people find comforting.
Not being a single parent who has children at home, or having had experience with your son's problems, it's difficult to offer concrete advice. What I mentioned above is from observation of other families and how they manage their crises.
Let us know how you and your son are doing, ok?