Following on some of the discussions about everyone being too picky, I found three blog posts I wanted to mention:
"The Myth of One True Love Per Lifetime
"Whoever said we only have one true soulmate?
"One of the greatest challenges I see people facing as they look for a lasting relationship is the misguided search for ‘The One.’ If you are single, ask yourself as you read this whether you truly believe there is one soul mate you’re destined to be with. Thanks to Hollywood films and the rabid Hallmark culture in which we live, we have been socialized to believe there is one – and only one - person with whom we truly belong."
“The one” vs “my one and only”
"One of the more toxic ideas in our culture is the idea of “the one”. This concept is the foundation for women’s sacred path to marriage; once a woman finds “the one”, everything will be right and honoring her marriage vows will be easy.
"It isn’t just others whom women are fooling when they think this way; they are also fooling themselves. Looking for the one to marry and remain faithful to is actually feral female behavior dressed up as self discipline and morality. They have perverted the lifetime marriage concept of “my one and only” by substituting in the Lifetime idea of the perfect man. Due to their solipsism what they can’t see is this perfect man is essentially the same perfect man all of the other women seeking “the one” are looking for."
"Why underestimate acceptable partners?
"The romantic view of romance in Western culture says a very small fraction of people would make a great partner for you, customarily one.
"Some clues suggest that in fact quite a large fraction of people would make a suitable spouse for a given person. Arranged marriages apparently go pretty well rather than terribly. Relationships are often formed between the only available people in a small group, forced together. ‘If I didn’t have you‘ by Tim Minchin is funny. It could be that relationships chosen in constrained circumstances are a lot worse than others, though I haven’t heard that. But they are at least common enough that people find them worthwhile. And the fraction of very good mates must be at least a lot greater than suggested by the romantic view, as evidenced by people ever finding them.
"So it seems we overstate the rarity of good matches. Why would we do that?"