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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Nov 15th 2012 new
(Quote) Kathie-430651 said: Dawn, dear, you are such a wise woman Wonderful explanation! ...
(Quote) Kathie-430651 said:



Dawn, dear, you are such a wise woman



Wonderful explanation!



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wave Thanks, Kathy! hug Good to see you!
Nov 15th 2012 new

(Quote) Marian-83994 said: (Quote) Dawn-58330 said: I think a lot of men and women misinterpret the term &qu...
(Quote) Marian-83994 said:

[quote]Dawn-58330 said: I think a lot of men and women misinterpret the term "independence." I think a good number of men have a huge aversion to the word because they have a great desire to be needed by a woman. An "independent woman" makes him feel unnecessary, useless, inferior, and not worth value in her life. And women are often misguided. The better value to embrace is interdependence. "I need/ want you. You need/want me."

Man wants significance in her life. Woman wants to not lose sense of herself in him.

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But a relationship is built on shared experiences first. So that sharing those experiences makes two people want to get closer and share more time dreams etc..

Nov 15th 2012 new
(Quote) Marian-83994 said: (Quote) Dawn-58330 said: I think a lot of men and women misinterpret the term "independenc...
(Quote) Marian-83994 said:

Quote:
Dawn-58330 said: I think a lot of men and women misinterpret the term "independence." I think a good number of men have a huge aversion to the word because they have a great desire to be needed by a woman. An "independent woman" makes him feel unnecessary, useless, inferior, and not worth value in her life. And women are often misguided. The better value to embrace is interdependence. "I need/ want you. You need/want me."

Man wants significance in her life. Woman wants to not lose sense of herself in him.



But relationship is built on share experiences first. So that sharing those experiences makes two people want to get closer and share more time dreams etc..

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Lady Marian, I don't get why the "But" is in your response. Interdependence alludes to inclusion, and therefore collaboration. "Independence implies exclusion, and being set apart from the other.
Nov 15th 2012 new

You know Marian, I chuckled when I read this thinking it was all in good fun. But then I began thinking... in the Hispanic culture, it's not unusual for a woman to be completely focused on her husband and children. When I was in Mexico some 9 years ago, I saw my cousins wait on their families and us as guests and they loved it! They were so happy! I was amazed... the family was the sole interest of these women. rose heart

That's the culture down South and it works there for many women. Here in the States, I believe women want to have interests and hobbies that hopefully interest their husbands as well. If not, hopefully husbands support their wives in their hobbies. I suppose it can work either way, given the mutual respect and love. theheart

Nov 15th 2012 new

I think it would make for a very boring life if each person did not have his or her own interests. You don't have to be glued at the hip when you are in a relationship you should each be allowed to have separate interests along with those that you share.

Nov 15th 2012 new

Absolutely, she should.

Nov 15th 2012 new

(Quote) Dawn-58330 said: (Quote) Marian-83994 said: (Quote) Dawn-58330 said: I think a lot o...
(Quote) Dawn-58330 said:
Quote:
Marian-83994 said:

Quote:
Dawn-58330 said: I think a lot of men and women misinterpret the term "independence." I think a good number of men have a huge aversion to the word because they have a great desire to be needed by a woman. An "independent woman" makes him feel unnecessary, useless, inferior, and not worth value in her life. And women are often misguided. The better value to embrace is interdependence. "I need/ want you. You need/want me."

Man wants significance in her life. Woman wants to not lose sense of herself in him.



But relationship is built on share experiences first. So that sharing those experiences makes two people want to get closer and share more time dreams etc..


Lady Marian, I don't get why the "But" is in your response. Interdependence alludes to inclusion, and therefore collaboration. "Independence implies exclusion, and being set apart from the other.
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Interdependence comes after two people get to know each other, in my not so humble opinion. It is not there right away. It is not there from the get go, at least for me. So it is not written into the plan but should come, if two people feel they are forming a bond. If it does not happen naturally, then it is not going to be there. I expect a man to get to know me as an independent person, first.

Nov 15th 2012 new

The minute a man expects me to be a 1950's type of housewife is the minute we're going to have a problem... The thing is I don't think I'd have very many qualms with doing most of the things that go along with that but having a little something of my own, as well as him, I believe is just healthy...

Nov 15th 2012 new

(Quote) Marian-83994 said: Interdependence comes after two people get to know each other, in my not so humble op...
(Quote) Marian-83994 said:




Interdependence comes after two people get to know each other, in my not so humble opinion. It is not there right away. It is not there from the get go, at least for me. So it is not written into the plan but should come, if two people feel they are forming a bond. If it does not happen naturally, then it is not going to be there. I expect a man to get to know me as an independent person, first.

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I was just thinking of the term "Independent" today and wondering is that why I am still single... The longer I have been single the more independent I have become. It was not by choice but out of necessity to make it on my own. I do think it may be to my detriment in a way because a man and woman are meant to Compliment one another. I still pray for God for the right man to come into my life so we can both compliment one another and help each other on our journey in life. He doesn't have to do like all the hobbies I do but his Catholic Faith should be strong. We are here to help each other get to heaven and help others along the way.


That's just some of my thoughts. Hope that helps a little Praying Kathleen

Nov 15th 2012 new

(Quote) Angie-70288 said: The minute a man expects me to be a 1950's type of housewife is the minute we're ...
(Quote) Angie-70288 said:

The minute a man expects me to be a 1950's type of housewife is the minute we're going to have a problem... The thing is I don't think I'd have very many qualms with doing most of the things that go along with that but having a little something of my own, as well as him, I believe is just healthy...

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Doing most of these tasks no doubt is somewhat natural for most of us but being sought out for that purpose is a bad way to feel. he may as well order a molly maid.

It feels all wrong to me. Once a woman bonds, she wants to be nurturing. She wants to do all sorts of things for him and focus on him. But she never wants to give up herself (her mind) as an individual capable of being a balance to her mate. Just my not very humble opinion.

I think it is tragic if a man expects you as a woman to become a lot less of ot less than who you are just to please him and make him feel bigger. And if a man thinks it is spoiled of a woman to have her own personality, he may be courting a lot of problems finding anyone in today's society.

I think people do complement each other but bonding has to be figured into the equation.

And, either you two will bond or it won't work because you are incompatible.

Most people who are healthy can bond and will; but when someone bonds to someone too quickly and he becomes a stranger later on, that is a recipe for disaster and

why we need to go slowly and know who this is.

There is never a good reason to rush.

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