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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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Nov 15th 2012 new

(Quote) Kathleen-5781 said: I was just thinking of the term "Independent" today and wondering is that ...
(Quote) Kathleen-5781 said:




I was just thinking of the term "Independent" today and wondering is that why I am still single... The longer I have been single the more independent I have become. It was not by choice but out of necessity to make it on my own. I do think it may be to my detriment in a way because a man and woman are meant to Compliment one another. I still pray for God for the right man to come into my life so we can both compliment one another and help each other on our journey in life. He doesn't have to do like all the hobbies I do but his Catholic Faith should be strong. We are here to help each other get to heaven and help others along the way.


That's just some of my thoughts. Hope that helps a little Kathleen

--hide--


Well, we should be able to bring those strengths and skills gained in this time alone into a healthy, carefully crafted relationship, and these skills are good to have. In my opinion this is just something women have to deal with today. You have not done anything wrong. How could it possibly be wrong?

Are we not supposed to work on ourselves while we hope to also meet someone?

What would be wrong with it?

I don't think being dependent is completely attractive to men today, either.

Just ask men who answered that "a woman should pay her own way on the date" because it helps to create balance and maintain it- on my interview in my profile here, why they said that.

Nov 15th 2012 new

Marian,

I would think in today's times, most women who want an element of independence.

I desire a woman that not only thinks independently but has independent interests. We can do some of my interests together and vice versa. I feel men who don't see it that way have issues with their self-esteem and probably are very domineering people. Just my opinion.

As Maia stated, I do understand in the Hispanic community many women see their role as totally taking care of their spouse and children with few if any outside interests. If it works for them, so be it.

Blessings, Praying hug rose

Leon

Nov 15th 2012 new

(Quote) Kathleen-5781 said: I was just thinking of the term "Independent" today and wondering is that ...
(Quote) Kathleen-5781 said:




I was just thinking of the term "Independent" today and wondering is that why I am still single... The longer I have been single the more independent I have become. It was not by choice but out of necessity to make it on my own. I do think it may be to my detriment in a way because a man and woman are meant to Compliment one another. I still pray for God for the right man to come into my life so we can both compliment one another and help each other on our journey in life. He doesn't have to do like all the hobbies I do but his Catholic Faith should be strong. We are here to help each other get to heaven and help others along the way.


That's just some of my thoughts. Hope that helps a little Kathleen

--hide--


Complimenting each other does not necessarily refer to being unable to be alone or being dependnet and not independent.
I think a lot of women are still single through no fault of their own.


Many men have sought and found premarital sex readily available to them every where they go, so why bother to seek marriage? they may feel.

Many men are seeking a very young woman to have many or a few children with, even though they themselves have maybe only 20 years left to live.

These reasons are more real than being "independent" when thay is precisely and practically what you have had to do.

Nov 15th 2012 new

(Quote) Leon-593843 said: Marian,I would think in today's times, most women who want an element of independence....
(Quote) Leon-593843 said:

Marian,

I would think in today's times, most women who want an element of independence.

I desire a woman that not only thinks independently but has independent interests. We can do some of my interests together and vice versa. I feel men who don't see it that way have issues with their self-esteem and probably are very domineering people. Just my opinion.

As Maia stated, I do understand in the Hispanic community many women see their role as totally taking care of their spouse and children with few if any outside interests. If it works for them, so be it.

Blessings,

Leon

--hide--


You are right. Thanks Leon. What Maia had to say is very helpful.

Nov 15th 2012 new

(Quote) Maia-181886 said: You know Marian, I chuckled when I read this thinking it was all in good fun. But then I began thi...
(Quote) Maia-181886 said:

You know Marian, I chuckled when I read this thinking it was all in good fun. But then I began thinking... in the Hispanic culture, it's not unusual for a woman to be completely focused on her husband and children. When I was in Mexico some 9 years ago, I saw my cousins wait on their families and us as guests and they loved it! They were so happy! I was amazed... the family was the sole interest of these women.

That's the culture down South and it works there for many women. Here in the States, I believe women want to have interests and hobbies that hopefully interest their husbands as well. If not, hopefully husbands support their wives in their hobbies. I suppose it can work either way, given the mutual respect and love.

--hide--


In today's world, most women want to be seen for what she can bring into the marriage by way of these things as gifts she brings, not duties she will perform. I think you are saying that in some cultures these duties are expected to be the womans' future focus. Great post Maia!

Nov 15th 2012 new



Why not both .... home and cooking, AND other interests, like needlework, or music, or sewing, or painting, or interior decorating, or tutoring children, or otherwise volunteering?????

eyepopping shocked

If a man cannot understand nor accept that she has other interests, then he's got a real problem -- and it's HIS problem .... don't make others' problems your problems. I've got enough to deal with, so I don't need anyone else to burden me with his problems. I'll listen and encourage him, but knock off the self-centeredness.

eyepopping shocked

wave rose smile Hi, princess Marian!

Nov 15th 2012 new
biggrin

Many of my interests will always be with me, and some of my painting workshops can run $800.00 for a week, that doesn't include traveling cost.

I wouldn't give it up.
Nov 15th 2012 new
(Quote) Angie-853770 said: I hope so...
(Quote) Angie-853770 said:







I hope so...

--hide--


Me too because I think part of what we find attractive in another is what their interests are? eyebrow
Nov 15th 2012 new

(Quote) Marian-83994 said: Well, we should be able to bring those strengths and skills gained in this time alone int...
(Quote) Marian-83994 said:



Well, we should be able to bring those strengths and skills gained in this time alone into a healthy, carefully crafted relationship, and these skills are good to have. In my opinion this is just something women have to deal with today. You have not done anything wrong. How could it possibly be wrong?

Are we not supposed to work on ourselves while we hope to also meet someone?

What would be wrong with it?

I don't think being dependent is completely attractive to men today, either.

Just ask men who answered that "a woman should pay her own way on the date" because it helps to create balance and maintain it- on my interview in my profile here, why they said that.

--hide--



Thanks for your thoughts Marian.. I agree that dependent relationships are not attractive.. I think first we need to put God at the center , make him our common interest .. then the rest should work out fine..

Do you think it is harder though, the older we get? Because we become more independent and set in our ways.. but I know with God all things are possible and good things come to those that wait.. Patience is important... We also need to have self control. I am saddened when you mentioned that men can find sex outside of marriage while us nice Catholics are waiting for someone to ask us out ... But reality is what it is.. we need to stand strong in our faith and not let the secular world get us down..


Prayers for all of us to be the person God created us to be.. unique and gifted in our own ways.. Help us Lord to find suitable partners that will help us carry out your will in our life. In Jesus name I pray

Kathleen Praying rosary theheart

Nov 15th 2012 new

(Quote) Marian-83994 said: (Quote) Maia-181886 said: You know Marian, I chuckled when I read this thi...
(Quote) Marian-83994 said:

Quote:
Maia-181886 said:

You know Marian, I chuckled when I read this thinking it was all in good fun. But then I began thinking... in the Hispanic culture, it's not unusual for a woman to be completely focused on her husband and children. When I was in Mexico some 9 years ago, I saw my cousins wait on their families and us as guests and they loved it! They were so happy! I was amazed... the family was the sole interest of these women.

That's the culture down South and it works there for many women. Here in the States, I believe women want to have interests and hobbies that hopefully interest their husbands as well. If not, hopefully husbands support their wives in their hobbies. I suppose it can work either way, given the mutual respect and love.




In today's world, most women want to be seen for what she can bring into the marriage by way of these things as gifts she brings, not duties she will perform. I think you are saying that in some cultures these duties are expected to be the womans' future focus. Great post Maia!

--hide--

Yes, I am saying that. You're correct Marian. In some cultures, including the Hispanic culture, the woman is often expected to tend almost solely to her family and not have any outside interests or at least not more than one or two maybe. Those 'other interests' would include things like sewing or knitting, gardening, all activities that would benefit her family.

I remember talking to this Mexican woman who had only been in the U.S. for a short time. She told me, in Spanish, 'In Mexico, there's nothing for women but to get married and be at the command of our husbands.' I remember when she said this, I felt sad. Having lived in Mexico and being Mexican-American, I knew this was true. However, it made me feel fortunate to be able to have interests and hobbies.

But yes, I also agree with what you're saying above. As Catholics, we know the Holy Spirit has given us certain gifts and we are called to share those. '...and the gifts we have, we are given to share...may the Spirit of love, make us one in deed...' Dove

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