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Saint Anthony is the patron of lost things and missing persons.
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11/27/2012 new

(Quote) Victor-544727 said: To a degree I agree with that... at least in regards to reading what others post. H...
(Quote) Victor-544727 said:


To a degree I agree with that... at least in regards to reading what others post. However, in regards to others' comments on our own posts, I'm more apt to believe that being adult enough to accept the fact that not everyone will agree with our point of view is acceptable, and not an excuse to react like a spolied child when they do disagree. That doesn't require one to have a "thick skin", per se, just an adult's maturity level. We cannot control anyone's thoughts and words, only how we choose to react to them.


Just my

--hide--
Using the term "thick skin" is just equivalent to having an adult maturity level compared to a "thin skin" which is childish and immature.

11/27/2012 new

This is a Catholic (Christian) service. You know, we have the norms already but......


Let me just talk from my experience so that others may learn. I have thought in the past and do at times still think that dating is a competitive sport. If I snooze, I lose.


By the same token, if I come across as being selfish, I probably am. When I was younger, I pursued goals with reckless abandon such that if anything or anyone got in my way, I was perturbed. Now that I am older (and we all get older), I see that we are all connected (especially because we are all on a Catholic (Christian) website likely led here by an inspiration of the Holy Spirit, without a doubt.


Being a male I never had the great insecurity that some women may have, I guess, that if a person of the opposite sex wants to talk with me that means I must make a life-long commitment and give up time that I could be spending with Miss or Mr. Wonderful. Or, I have never really felt that if a person of the opposite sex asks to talk with me and I am not attracted to that person, that somehow my manhood (or sexuality) is threatened. I am guilty, if you want to call it that, of not responding to women who have written to me. I did not have the skills of knowing how to not lead someone on... Now I do, I think it's called being a loving person without expecting more.


Now, I know the importance of behaving through my words and the attitudes they convey, as a Christian was taught to behave. I now have the goal (and more stout desire to achieve it than I did in the past) of just trying to lighten someone's load through a kind word, even though it takes a few of my precious minutes.


I actually think that God can allow us to continue to do good work on Earth in the afterlife as in the case of St. Therese of Lisieux in which case time is no longer a concern, but that is a topic for a different discussion.


To summarize, though I have been, and continue to be at times, a knucklehead in the past, it is my intention to give and receive encouragement, spiritual repose, rejuvenation and a firmer purpose to be holy through the use of services of this site. I hope that others can identify with what I am saying and find encouragement that we are striving for the same things and there are enough good things to go around in the cooperative, other-affirming, self-affirming, loving world of a Catholic (Christian) match site - that BTW is not supposed to be like a secular match site, do you agree?

Your thoughts.......?




11/27/2012 new

Ted,

I hope everyone realizes the beauty and Christian charity that fills this statement you just made; let me repeat it, least they missed it:

"...it is my intention to give and receive encouragement, spiritual repose, rejuvenation and a firmer purpose to be holy through the use of services of this site."

clap Would that everyone here do that. We would not have any more of these threads about what people should be doing in terms of responding, etc. If that were our guiding principle, it would be clear what we should do.

11/28/2012 new
Patricia, I thank God that my words resonated with your sense of Christian love. We are set apart as the salt of the Earth and they will know we are Christians by our love.
11/28/2012 new

Dear Jill,


Doesn't it make sense , that if you sign up to be a CM account holder and receive an email , emote or emessage from another person , its just common courtesy to reply .

Who would, when approached by a person at a party ,who reaches out to you to say hello and gesture to either shake your hand or give you an embrace simply ignore that person and walk away . This behavior at a party would be considered so rude.


In the electronic world where you are inviting people to emote or email you , its equally rude to ignore the notice and not rely. Plain and simple
Unfortunately the age of technology has fueled an atmosphere where self centeredness and selfishness is accepted. So CM members take notice , If you in all sincereity simply do not receivere a response after you reached out to some one , let not your heart be troubled for the problem does not lay with you!

11/28/2012 new

(Quote) Liberacion-894835 said: Using the term "thick skin" is just equivalent to having an adult maturity level c...
(Quote) Liberacion-894835 said:

Using the term "thick skin" is just equivalent to having an adult maturity level compared to a "thin skin" which is childish and immature.

--hide--
So true!

11/28/2012 new

(Quote) Victor-544727 said: We cannot control anyone's thoughts and words, only how we choose to react to them.
(Quote) Victor-544727 said:

We cannot control anyone's thoughts and words, only how we choose to react to them.

--hide--



I totally agree. It can be hard at times (I have responded, in ways I wish I would not have on occassion).


Love this quote:

“The one thing you can’t take away from me is the way I choose to respond to what you do to me. The last of one’s freedoms is to choose ones attitude in any given circumstance.” Viktor Frankl

11/28/2012 new

(Quote) Donna-83441 said: It has been suggested in the past thar members should be somehow forced to respond.. Seeing's ...
(Quote) Donna-83441 said:

It has been suggested in the past thar members should be somehow forced to respond.. Seeing's how this isn't a dictatorship and we are all adults here, presumably, it's best to leave things as they are.

--hide--

Yeeeaaahhhhhhhh!! i like your answer Donna. biggrin clap thumbsup thumbsup

11/28/2012 new

(Quote) Ted-921153 said: This is a Catholic (Christian) service. You know, we have the norms already but...... Le...
(Quote) Ted-921153 said:

This is a Catholic (Christian) service. You know, we have the norms already but......


Let me just talk from my experience so that others may learn. I have thought in the past and do at times still think that dating is a competitive sport. If I snooze, I lose.


By the same token, if I come across as being selfish, I probably am. When I was younger, I pursued goals with reckless abandon such that if anything or anyone got in my way, I was perturbed. Now that I am older (and we all get older), I see that we are all connected (especially because we are all on a Catholic (Christian) website likely led here by an inspiration of the Holy Spirit, without a doubt.


Being a male I never had the great insecurity that some women may have, I guess, that if a person of the opposite sex wants to talk with me that means I must make a life-long commitment and give up time that I could be spending with Miss or Mr. Wonderful. Or, I have never really felt that if a person of the opposite sex asks to talk with me and I am not attracted to that person, that somehow my manhood (or sexuality) is threatened. I am guilty, if you want to call it that, of not responding to women who have written to me. I did not have the skills of knowing how to not lead someone on... Now I do, I think it's called being a loving person without expecting more.


Now, I know the importance of behaving through my words and the attitudes they convey, as a Christian was taught to behave. I now have the goal (and more stout desire to achieve it than I did in the past) of just trying to lighten someone's load through a kind word, even though it takes a few of my precious minutes.


I actually think that God can allow us to continue to do good work on Earth in the afterlife as in the case of St. Therese of Lisieux in which case time is no longer a concern, but that is a topic for a different discussion.


To summarize, though I have been, and continue to be at times, a knucklehead in the past, it is my intention to give and receive encouragement, spiritual repose, rejuvenation and a firmer purpose to be holy through the use of services of this site. I hope that others can identify with what I am saying and find encouragement that we are striving for the same things and there are enough good things to go around in the cooperative, other-affirming, self-affirming, loving world of a Catholic (Christian) match site - that BTW is not supposed to be like a secular match site, do you agree?

Your thoughts.......?

--hide--

Great Post Ted!!! Welcome to the Forums. wave thumbsup thumbsup

11/28/2012 new

(Quote) Jill-447586 said: It seems to offend and/or hurt a lot of people on here when they dont get a response to messages/e...
(Quote) Jill-447586 said:

It seems to offend and/or hurt a lot of people on here when they dont get a response to messages/emotigrams they've sent other members.

And there's no consensus on what constitutes courtesy and discourtesy in that regard

Simple solution?... maybe the CM staff can write up some basic norms / suggested etiquette? And get that information out somehow? send it out as a message to all members?


Just seems people are getting their feelings hurt unnecessarily


maybe theres already something like this written somewhere? and just not advertised?

--hide--


Seems to me that responding to others as you would have them respond to you is a pretty good suggestion. smile


- Elizabeth

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