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This room is for supportive and informative discussion about divorce and/or the annulment process. All posters must have been previously divorced or annulled.

Saint Eugene De Mazenod is patron of dysfunctional families & Saint Fabiola obtained a divorce from her first husband prior to devoting her life to charitable works.
Learn More: Saint Eugene De Mazenod and Saint Fabiola

Nov 28th 2012 new

(Quote) Jocelyn-917815 said: About annulment -- I would feel that to go down that path, I would need to twist truth, and tha...
(Quote) Jocelyn-917815 said:

About annulment -- I would feel that to go down that path, I would need to twist truth, and that I will not do. I have read carefully the clauses for an annulment and I do not feel that they meet the facts of my ex-marriage. We were strong catholics, understood what we were doing, were sincere and were without pressure or misunderstanding. Our strong marriage lasted many years, but alas, an affair ended it (his). Are there others who feel that they also had well founded marriages that somehow feel apart many, many years later?

--hide--


Jocelyn..There could possibly be underlying issues that you were never aware of that caused him to have an affair after many years.. Maybe a family member did when he was young and that always stuck with him, maybe there was some history in his teen years that you were never aware of.. I always tell people, just tell the truth, even if it makes you look bad.. As part of my annulment procees I had to visit a counselor.. At the end of our two hour meeting I spilled my guts about things that had occured when I was growing up with an alcoholic dad that I hadn't thought about in years. And I certainly never told anybody about. This guy would ask a question and that would send me off on a topic line that might never have been broached had he not asked.. He revealed to me as I was leaving that he was curious at first why the Tribunal sent me to him..He was an alcohol and drug rehab counselor and I didn't drink or use drugs ever.. He said "Now I understand."

BTW.. The Tribunal decides what the grounds for annulment our..That isn't our pick..At least not in my Archdiocese..

Nov 28th 2012 new

(Quote) Donna-83441 said: (Quote) Jocelyn-917815 said: About annulment -- I would feel that to go dow...
(Quote) Donna-83441 said:

Quote:
Jocelyn-917815 said:

About annulment -- I would feel that to go down that path, I would need to twist truth, and that I will not do. I have read carefully the clauses for an annulment and I do not feel that they meet the facts of my ex-marriage. We were strong catholics, understood what we were doing, were sincere and were without pressure or misunderstanding. Our strong marriage lasted many years, but alas, an affair ended it (his). Are there others who feel that they also had well founded marriages that somehow feel apart many, many years later?



Jocelyn..There could possibly be underlying issues that you were never aware of that caused him to have an affair after many years.. Maybe a family member did when he was young and that always stuck with him, maybe there was some history in his teen years that you were never aware of.. I always tell people, just tell the truth, even if it makes you look bad.. As part of my annulment procees I had to visit a counselor.. At the end of our two hour meeting I spilled my guts about things that had occured when I was growing up with an alcoholic dad that I hadn't thought about in years. And I certainly never told anybody about. This guy would ask a question and that would send me off on a topic line that might never have been broached had he not asked.. He revealed to me as I was leaving that he was curious at first why the Tribunal sent me to him..He was an alcohol and drug rehab counselor and I didn't drink or use drugs ever.. He said "Now I understand."

BTW.. The Tribunal decides what the grounds for annulment our..That isn't our pick..At least not in my Archdiocese..

--hide--


And a PS.. Most times an advocate or parish annulment rep can tell you at the beginning after reading your 'story' whether they think there are enough grounds to procede.. Before you spend any money.. Some people choose to procede anyway, but at least give it a chance.

Nov 28th 2012 new

I just submitted my papers Oct 25 and I am waiting for an appointment with my Field Advocate.
Of course, very anxious.

It was hard, to conjure up the emotions - took me about 10mos to complete. Wish I would have started it sooner!

rolling eyes

Nov 28th 2012 new

(Quote) Jocelyn-917815 said: About annulment -- I would feel that to go down that path, I would need to twist truth, and tha...
(Quote) Jocelyn-917815 said:

About annulment -- I would feel that to go down that path, I would need to twist truth, and that I will not do. I have read carefully the clauses for an annulment and I do not feel that they meet the facts of my ex-marriage. We were strong catholics, understood what we were doing, were sincere and were without pressure or misunderstanding. Our strong marriage lasted many years, but alas, an affair ended it (his). Are there others who feel that they also had well founded marriages that somehow feel apart many, many years later?

--hide--

You NEED to talk to a canon lawyer and if you google canon lawyer and nnulments you'll get at least on conan law firm and they will OPEN your eyes to what is hidden from us mere mortals!

Nov 28th 2012 new

(Quote) Stephen-725391 said: You NEED to talk to a canon lawyer and if you google canon lawyer and nnulments you...
(Quote) Stephen-725391 said:

You NEED to talk to a canon lawyer and if you google canon lawyer and nnulments you'll get at least on conan law firm and they will OPEN your eyes to what is hidden from us mere mortals!

--hide--

apologize for the typos. Just burns me about the misinformation that is being spread about priest and the tribunals and the advocates - You either get hard core and get your own or you are a sheep being lead to the slaughter. If you have your own then the tribunal becomes - NICER!

Nov 28th 2012 new

(Quote) Betsy-904124 said: My question is how important is an annulment? I still don't fully understand how my marriage ...
(Quote) Betsy-904124 said:

My question is how important is an annulment? I still don't fully understand how my marriage could be considered null & void but my kids are legitimate...

--hide--


Because you were LEGALLY MARRIED but not sacramentally married.


An annulment is important if you wish to date or remarry. Seeing as you're on a dating site, it mightbe a good idea to look into an annulment. Yours may be pretty easy.

Nov 28th 2012 new

(Quote) Stephen-725391 said: apologize for the typos. Just burns me about the misinformation that is being spread a...
(Quote) Stephen-725391 said:

apologize for the typos. Just burns me about the misinformation that is being spread about priest and the tribunals and the advocates - You either get hard core and get your own or you are a sheep being lead to the slaughter. If you have your own then the tribunal becomes - NICER!

--hide--

I speak from experience - I got hard core with the presiding judge who bailed but not before he got me one of their own (Canon Lawyer and Tribunal Judge) to volunteer to represent me before the tribunal as MY advocate!

Nov 28th 2012 new

(Quote) Jocelyn-917815 said: About annulment -- I would feel that to go down that path, I would need to twist truth, and tha...
(Quote) Jocelyn-917815 said:

About annulment -- I would feel that to go down that path, I would need to twist truth, and that I will not do. I have read carefully the clauses for an annulment and I do not feel that they meet the facts of my ex-marriage. We were strong catholics, understood what we were doing, were sincere and were without pressure or misunderstanding. Our strong marriage lasted many years, but alas, an affair ended it (his). Are there others who feel that they also had well founded marriages that somehow feel apart many, many years later?

--hide--


you and i and presumably everyone else on this thread are not canon lawyers. a layperson's reading is not definitive. you may well have adequate grounds without "twisting the truth".


please speak to a canon lawyer. your parish priest, while earnest and well-meaning, may not have the requisite knowledge and experience to properly advise you.

Dec 11th 2012 new

I have an interesting dilimma. My marriage was 33 years ago and lasted a mere 21 months. I spoke with the priest at church about it. However, the people who were in my life at that time - Mom, Dad, and my oldest Sister are all deceased. I moved away from Texas shortly after the divorce and never looked back. So, what is a girl to do? I would love to be free to marry in the Church but since I am unable at this time, I am looking for like minded people - both men and women - to share throughts, laughs and prayers.

Dec 16th 2012 new

So to the experts on here. I was divorced 2 and1/2 years ago. I talked to my parish priest regarding an annulment. He told me that I shouldn't start an annulment at that time. If and when I ever started dating and if it looked like the relationship was getting serious, then I should start the process. He said, why go through all of that if I was never going to marry again. It is very important to me, if I ever find my soul mate, that I would want to marry in the Catholic Church. From what I'm reading on here, it sounds like I should have an annulment before I ever start dating, is that correct? Also my ex-husband was married before we were married. He is not Catholic, but he did get an annulment so we could marry in the Catholic church. Since he has already had an annulment, what are my chances of getting an annulment? Can one person get more than one annulment. He wouldn't be seeking this since he's not Catholic, but I would. I know a lot depends on the circumstances. He walked out and had several affairs, and since he was not baptized, you state that this is not a Sacramental marriage. Any comments?

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