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This room is for general discussion that doesn't specifically fit into one of the other CatholicMatch rooms. Topics should not be overly serious as this is to be more of a "cafe setting."

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Nov 28th 2012 new

In what capacity? In terms of spending too much time on it where it affects other areas of your life, or sharing too much personal information, etc?

Nov 28th 2012 new
(Quote) Jonathan-903357 said: In what capacity? In terms of spending too much time on it where it affects other areas of your life, or sh...
(Quote) Jonathan-903357 said:

In what capacity? In terms of spending too much time on it where it affects other areas of your life, or sharing too much personal information, etc?

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Just a general question Jonathan! Seeing infidelities from married couples using FB, that is a definite danger.
Nov 28th 2012 new

Hi Khoa,

In reading something you wrote before, about being stood up by a young woman who said she would hangout with you, to me, THAT'S when Facebook becomes a danger. Look how you felt when your friend "no-showed". I also read a post from someone who said to you that perhaps that person never intended to meet you to hang out. Before Facebook, these sorts of ambiguities were less likely to have happened. It's alot easier to "read" someone by their inflection when they speak on the telephone.

As someone who is "older" (although I am not trying to be an old fart here, and I certainly don't feel that old either), I believe Facebook can become a danger when people quit picking up the telephone to call one another and, instead, rely on their Facebook communications as their sole means of communication.

I think Facebook has made people lazy. It takes work to phone someone and engage them in actual conversation. I have seen people read someone's Facebook posting and become offended - by virtue of the fact that there are only the words on a printed page to interpret whatever meaing was intended by the author.

On a different note, I was once looking to purchase a used clarinet for my 13 year old daughter to use at band. One lady communicated with me only through email. We were supposed to meet at a designated location so I could see her clarinet that she had for sale. She was very late (and when she finally arrived, looked alot old that I am!). I was very frustrated that I was unable to reach her because I had driven quite a ways to meet her at a McDonalds. Her clarinet looked like it had been run over by a truck and was not playable. I did not buy it.

Sadly, I feel Facebook gives us a false sense of security - how do you actually KNOW that the person who claims to be a particular individual actually IS that individual? You don't! Therefore, my feeling is if someone does not care enough about me to eventually, actually take the time to call me, I don't want to bother with them. Too much time wasted. Not enough trust!

Hope this doesn't sound too negative but I get calls from friends who are upset because they read other person's Facebook postings and feel they are being scandelized without any way to "set the record straight". I hope to meet a great guy some day. But, I want to meet him in person before I am going to actually believe he exists and is what he claims to be. I have been duped before and have lost alot of the trust I once had in this new media we have at our disposal. Hope this helps.

Lois



Nov 28th 2012 new

I recently started watching a tv show on MTV called Catfish. eyepopping Very interesting show and then I discovered that it is a spin off of a movie by the same name. So I watched the trailed and then Googled the synopsis. scratchchin Trailer: www.youtube.com


I sooooo want to see this movie.

Nov 28th 2012 new

For the young singles... I think the "danger" is in mis-interpreted communications, just as it is for anyone.


The REAL problem with Facebook is that it reveals too much "unfiltered" info about the sender that would not be revealed in person right away. For example, someone might "friend" you and see that you are a pro-life Christian, and, only knowing what they know from TV, might attribute negitave qualities to you, and not want to meet you for a coffee.


Single men and women have to have mystery that they reveal to each other, as appropriate, as a reward, as a treat to see you again, (after don't you want to find out the conclusion to her "night in the hills of Spain" story?) and FaceBook is a mystery killer.


Also, when you have been friends in real life with someone, and then cannot get along on FB.... that blows.


Another real danger is seeking out the object of unrequited love. This can put the seeker in a negative state, after seeing their once-good-friend, doing things they once did together, missing them, and feeling that they are not missed, maybe even forgotten. No one likes to be "Un-Friended" and feel unneeded.

Nov 28th 2012 new

I agree Lois,


Facebook has really "impersonalized" people. Tweeting, status updating, and even texting has replaced older, more personal mediums of communication. I think letter writing has become a lost art form. Though if I ever find my special lady on here, that will not be the case for me. She will probably get sick of all of my letters, ha. There is just something about writing down on paper your thoughts or feelings; it makes them more tangible, in my opinion.


And Khoa, as for the issue of infidelity, I think it is not only a possibility, but a reality. Just as the internet has made EVERYTHING in our lives more convenient and stream-lined, this issue is no execption, I'm afraid. In years past, if you lost contact with someone, there was really no way to look them up (maybe there was, and I'm just too young to know about it). However, with the internet and facebook, all you need to know is there name, and their school, and it is quite simple to look up old classmates, old boyfriends/girlfriends, or what have you. Now, everything is just a click away.

Nov 28th 2012 new
(Quote) Brenda-731971 said: I recently started watching a tv show on MTV called Catfish. Very interesting show and then I discovered that...
(Quote) Brenda-731971 said:

I recently started watching a tv show on MTV called Catfish. Very interesting show and then I discovered that it is a spin off of a movie by the same name. So I watched the trailed and then Googled the synopsis. Trailer: www.youtube.com




I sooooo want to see this movie.

--hide--


Wow Brenda! Looks scary!
Nov 28th 2012 new
(Quote) Lois-765906 said: Hi Khoa, In reading something you wrote before, about being stood up by a young woman who said sh...
(Quote) Lois-765906 said:

Hi Khoa,



In reading something you wrote before, about being stood up by a young woman who said she would hangout with you, to me, THAT'S when Facebook becomes a danger. Look how you felt when your friend "no-showed". I also read a post from someone who said to you that perhaps that person never intended to meet you to hang out. Before Facebook, these sorts of ambiguities were less likely to have happened. It's alot easier to "read" someone by their inflection when they speak on the telephone.



As someone who is "older" (although I am not trying to be an old fart here, and I certainly don't feel that old either), I believe Facebook can become a danger when people quit picking up the telephone to call one another and, instead, rely on their Facebook communications as their sole means of communication.



I think Facebook has made people lazy. It takes work to phone someone and engage them in actual conversation. I have seen people read someone's Facebook posting and become offended - by virtue of the fact that there are only the words on a printed page to interpret whatever meaing was intended by the author.



On a different note, I was once looking to purchase a used clarinet for my 13 year old daughter to use at band. One lady communicated with me only through email. We were supposed to meet at a designated location so I could see her clarinet that she had for sale. She was very late (and when she finally arrived, looked alot old that I am!). I was very frustrated that I was unable to reach her because I had driven quite a ways to meet her at a McDonalds. Her clarinet looked like it had been run over by a truck and was not playable. I did not buy it.



Sadly, I feel Facebook gives us a false sense of security - how do you actually KNOW that the person who claims to be a particular individual actually IS that individual? You don't! Therefore, my feeling is if someone does not care enough about me to eventually, actually take the time to call me, I don't want to bother with them. Too much time wasted. Not enough trust!



Hope this doesn't sound too negative but I get calls from friends who are upset because they read other person's Facebook postings and feel they are being scandelized without any way to "set the record straight". I hope to meet a great guy some day. But, I want to meet him in person before I am going to actually believe he exists and is what he claims to be. I have been duped before and have lost alot of the trust I once had in this new media we have at our disposal. Hope this helps.



Lois





--hide--


Thank you Lois! Wise woman!
Nov 28th 2012 new

(Quote) Jonathan-903357 said: all you need to know is there name, and their school,
(Quote) Jonathan-903357 said:

all you need to know is there name, and their school,

--hide--



Sorry, my grammar is horrible when I get on my soapbox! tongue

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