Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.
Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael
There was a "blind date" I was set to meet....a little over a year ago. When I called her...I said...."Why dont we meet at such and such place?"
Talk about bad blind dates...
I once unknowingly went on a blind date with a man who was marked for a hit (aka- there was a contract out on his life- aka- people wanted to kill him). It was an interesting experience to say the least. He told me about it while we were on our date because he was so jumpy and always looking over his shoulder, but I didn't believe him. Thankfully, nothing happened, but he was shot at a few days later. So much for good friends trying to fix me up. Needless to say, that was my first and last blind date.
There was a "blind date" I was set to meet....a little over a year ago. When I called her...I said...."Why dont we meet at such and such place?" She said, "Oh yeah....okay...cool" (this was a few days before...plus she KNEW I would be calling) so I indicated I would call her again...on the Saturday (of) to meet there. When I did....she was in a totally different mood! She said, "Wait....where is that place?" I said, well it's closer to me...than it is to you...but the hwy is a straight shot" She said, "Oooh no....that's too far...let's pick something around the corner from my house."
I said, "Okay" When I met her she was full of questions....which of itself was not bad..but one finally got me! (and this is very early in our conversation) She said, "Has anyone ever said anything about your living with your roomate? I mean..two guys late 50's early 60's living together?" I said, "You mean the same guy I share a two-story home with... who's girlfriend set you up with me? The one who I went to high school with...played football with...lifted weights with.....played tennis/golf with?" "And most of all....my best friend?" She nodded! I said, "No no one has ever said anything about Jim and I. And frankly I wouldn't care if they did." She then said well....it does look a little weird." So the whole thing kind of went south from there! lol! And my above words were not as harsh as they sounded....I WAS polite. In fact, I politely paid the bill....and when asked if we would meet again...I politely said, "I don't think so" (later when I told Jim later he was dying laughing...because he knew full well "J" his girlfriend had set us up) I later teased "J" sarcastically for being so kind in "screening potential dates" for me!!
And this is why I don't go on blind dates!
Call her back and ask her out again- NOW!!! Ya never know.
Call her back and ask her out again- NOW!!! Ya never know.
Yah....good idea. Wish I still had her number. Need to call the friend who set us up in the first place. This time we'll be dating INSIDE though.
Yes Pat, I agree this is an example of one of those completely shocking reversals that human beings are capable of and, if it were me, instead of treating it like an enigma with possibly some blame that could be assigned to myself, I would consider that person who acted out of character to have psychological problems (obviously) that could not be helped on a whirlwind weekend - maybe a whirlwind weekend with Dr. Phil or Dr. Keith Ablow (or both) would help.
In my experience, I had a similar reversal in a dating relationship when on one occasion a lady confessed to me through tears her multiple sins of abortion and thanked me profusely for actively listening to her and to use her words being "a very loving man" and then on a later date wailing on me with angry words that I did not have the right views on sex because I refused to have extramarital sex.
To make sense of it Pat, I began to really believe the notion that I had formerly tended to believe which is... You should not put your hope in earthly creatures because they will let you down in one way or another. So why do I continue to look for a match? I have readjusted my beliefs and hope to find a lady who will strive to get to Heaven as that is what my ultimate goal is. And it would be nice to share the pain and joy of life as well as dreams and disappointments with her along the way.
The experience I wrote of actually wa one that made me give up dating for several years (too many to think about) because I was dwelling on the psychological / spiritual problems of the poor lady who I tried to help and decided that I was not meant to be married because I failed - or so I thought.......
I believe now that God will show us how we actually succeeded in bringing about His good plan by our feeble efforts at trying to do the right thing.
It wasn't a blind date but it was a very odd one. Perhaps some of you could give me some perspective, if you'd like.
There was an incident that occurred at a meeting at our parish and I wanted to get some clarification from someone whom I respected and thought I could trust. I called him up and asked if he would meet me for coffee and if we could talk. He seemed to be very interested in me but I wasn't ready to date at the time. I was intending it to be a friendly coffee conversation not a DATE.
I guess there was a huge miscommunication, because he thought I was asking him out on a DATE. Our conversation started off ok and I asked his opinion about the incident during the meeting at the parish. He helped me understand the incident a little better and the talk continued for about a half hour. Then he said, in a rather upset tone, "Is that all you wanted?" I told him that was why I called to talk but I was willing to stay and talk longer if he wanted. He then made some sexual innuendos that I didn't understand at the time and only learned the meaning of much later. I still didn't realize that there was anything wrong. He then proceeded to start asking very direct questions about different topics, almost interrogating me, and I answered honestly but still reserved not to tell certain things. I was hoping to be friendly without leading him on. I did tell him that I liked and respected him, that I wasn't ready to date, and that I would like to build a friendship with him. He plainly and almost rudely said "I can't be friends with you." I thanked him for telling me that and for coming out to talk and I started getting ready to leave. He then said, "You can't leave me here." So I sat down again and asked what he wanted to talk about now.
There were several tense moments during our "coffee date". I was wanting to leave several times - and I don't really know why I didn't, maybe b/c he was from church - and I ended up spending 5 hours with him, sitting outside in the sun and drinking coffee. I then began to feel very weak, probably due to low blood sugars, and told him I needed to get something to eat. We went back inside the coffee shop and picked up some sandwiches. He bought the sandwiches ( "a gentleman") but then started to criticize my choice and make condescending comments about me. I was not feeling great anyways but I was a bit stunned not knowing how to respond. He did offer to drive me home and for some dum reason, I accepted.
For a long period of time later after our meeting, he seemed to be shunning me. I figured, I would be friendly if he was friendly and I would ignore him if he was not. There were times that he would seem to be very interested again, and would be very public about approaching me. I am a fairly private person so I didn't really appreciate the way he was doing that. At one gathering we were both at, he really insulted me and became bossy when I turned to leave. After the emotional ups and downs with this character for some time, I decided that I really wasn't interested in knowing him anymore. I was polite and courteous b/c we go to the same parish, but I wasn't seeking his company. The thing that is funny is that he is considered to be well-respected in our community, but I think he has a dark side that most people don't see. I guess I'm glad I did see it b/c I avoided a relationship with him. Perhaps he did me a favor by showing me what he is really like. We are all human and we all have our flaws, but some things can be too much too tolerate.