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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Dec 2nd 2012 new
It never has been the central focus of my life. Lol. I even went ahead and bought a house myself last year because I am just living life as I would anyways. I didn't really start worrying about marriage until this year, and it made me sad, so I stopped so I would be happy again. Lol when people start talking about it, I laugh it off. I'm just living life.
Dec 2nd 2012 new
(Quote) Tara-916865 said: It never has been the central focus of my life. Lol. I even went ahead and bought a house myself last year because ...
(Quote) Tara-916865 said: It never has been the central focus of my life. Lol. I even went ahead and bought a house myself last year because I am just living life as I would anyways. I didn't really start worrying about marriage until this year, and it made me sad, so I stopped so I would be happy again. Lol when people start talking about it, I laugh it off. I'm just living life.
--hide--
I completely agree with just living life! Pray about your vocation and say yes when the time and opportunity presents itself... But it is not something to worry over! just my thoughts on it all!
Dec 3rd 2012 new

Praying I honestly do not believe that that is up to me, so I don't think there's ever a time one can say that. I would never want to risk close a door that God might want to open... rolling eyes

Dec 3rd 2012 new

(Quote) Nancy-838315 said: Hi all! A question... At what point in life do you decide (discern with cer...
(Quote) Nancy-838315 said:

Hi all!


A question...


At what point in life do you decide (discern with certainty) that you might just be called to a single life?


Not asking for myself, just asking in general!

--hide--



I hope I'm not called to single life!

Dec 3rd 2012 new

(Quote) Pat-5351 said: To answer the question, I have never felt called to the single state of l...
(Quote) Pat-5351 said:

To answer the question, I have never felt called to the single state of life, because it is not something I or any of us are called to.

This comes up every few months here on CM, I urge everyone who is still single and thinks of this as a fall back position, "maybe I am called to be single, to please do the research, as there is no calling/vocation to being single. It is a state of life not a vocation (to which one could be called).

Tossing around the word vocation with the word single is a post Vatican II feel good sort of thing that has occurred to make single people feel less left out, like their lives are still important, or less like they live "on the Isle of Misfit Toys" (to use a "Rudolph the Rednosed Reindeer" analogy). So you will see even priests use the term "the single vocation", but it is not theologically correct.

There are three states of life (ordained, married, unmarried) which is a factual, demographic categorization, but two vocations (consecrated holy orders/avowed life and marriage). That is it.

Some people by nature are never going to be married (such as the "eunichs" referred to in the new testament), there are some people who are going to forgo the natural law "calling" to the married vocation and by that sacrifice do some good service (being a missionary in Africa, being the dutiful son or daughter serving an elderly parent in need--the urging that St. Paul made to us), but that does not make it a vocation. That was a decision or a service or a ministry best done by maintaining the single state of life, but it is not a vocation.

It does not make it bad or not of good value not to be a vocation, it just is not one of the two vocations.

You are either called to the consecrated life (priest, nun, consecrated virgin living in the world) or you are called to marriage.

A vocation requires three things: a call (from God), a fiat (the acceptance of the call, the yes from us), and this is the thing: a VOW to someone else (formal, public, lifelong, irrevocable). That is only holy orders/consecrated life, and marriage that have all three elements.

Just sort of deciding or by some inaction or confluence of circumstances remaining single does not involve any of that, and particularly does not include the last (the vow).

The vast majority of us are called to marriage. Those who are long not married need to first reconsider whether they were in fact called to the consecrated life and just missed it somehow, or if they are still called to the vocation of marriage, figure out why the fulfillment of it has not occurred (either due to self, to circumstances, selfishness, concupiscence or whatever). Unless you are consecrated virgin living in the world (and that requires a bishop and a ceremony and a vow, which is not most of us, if you are just watching hanging out still, working, trying to be a good person and citizen, and are single, that is great, but that is not a vocation.

Okay, end of lecture! This is just my pet peeve, and I worry how many wonderful called to the vocation of marriage people there are that lose lots of precious time and opportunity to marriage because of this point. It breaks my heart!

--hide--

clap Could not have said it better if I tried.

Dec 3rd 2012 new

I think that's part of the great journey we're all on - - - for whatever reason as part of His plan, we ARE called to the single life at this moment. The beauty and the struggle is embracing it, and figuring out how we can best serve Him as a single. We won't be able to serve Him in these same ways as married folks and/or parents.

I struggled with this for a long time - almost a resentment of my single life. But God kept working on this heart of mine - He helped me see that He has kept me single for a purpose and it's up to me to use my talents & gifts to glorify Him. Not always easy when I sing for a baptism or a wedding wink .

But, if He calls you to it, He'll lead you through it.

Dec 3rd 2012 new

(Quote) Nancy-838315 said: Hi all! A question... At what point in life do you decide (discern with cer...
(Quote) Nancy-838315 said:

Hi all!


A question...


At what point in life do you decide (discern with certainty) that you might just be called to a single life?


Not asking for myself, just asking in general!

--hide--


When I desire to be celibate. I don't. At all. Not even close. There are more reasons than that, but that's a big one. . .

Dec 4th 2012 new

(Quote) Nancy-838315 said: Hi all! A question... At what point in life do you decide (discern with cer...
(Quote) Nancy-838315 said:

Hi all!


A question...


At what point in life do you decide (discern with certainty) that you might just be called to a single life?


--hide--


Never. But, I am called to enjoy the life I have been given and I'm working on that. wave I experienced 34 years of a very good marriage. So, I know the value, the struggle, and the beauty of marriage. After a long period of grief, I decided to get on with life and enjoy it, even though being single is definitely not what I want. I'm ready to get married when Mr. Right comes along. It seems God is not ready for me to marry right now. boggled weeping


Until that happens, I am getting out and enjoying life and hoping I'll meet Mr. Right while I'm out and about. wave Maybe you'll be at the TTU basketball game (I have season tickets) or hiking on one of our wonderful trails in Middle TN (I recently went hiking on a Sunday afternoon by myself because I couldn't get someone to go with me and dangit I wanted to get out and enjoy the woods and the river -I was a bit nervous but had a great time) or maybe at the YMCA (I rejoined this year) or maybe at Church (one of my favorite places) or maybe I will run into you and we will have to dicker over the insurance cost because I was driving just a little too close while I was talking on my cell phone when you stopped shhh embarassed


Who knows, but I feel sure I will never decide I was meant to be single. Heck, I'm already trained! wink


- Elizabeth

Dec 5th 2012 new
If I never find the one then it would seem like I'm being called to the single life. Of course if one decides to get married, the couple must make a mutual agreement about having children two cents. Just because you're single doesn't mean you have to be lonely. Whether one chooses to be single or married, the one's got to know what's right for him/her.
Dec 5th 2012 new

I think we are called to follow Jesus, and we are called every day to live out that vocation. I believe following Jesus is the vocation. And every day we have to decide to follow or not. And thereby as a single we decide that every day - will I live as God called me to live or not. So a single vocation is deciding every day to follow Jesus where I am now. So instead of thinking do I have a calling to a single life or married life or a religious life - you have a calling/a vocation every day to follow Jesus to the best of your ability. And you will choose it over and over again.

Posts 31 - 40 of 93