(Quote) Meg-920823 said:
When marriage vows are broken, there is something wrong, correct? It is until death do us part and ...
(Quote) Meg-920823 said:
When marriage vows are broken, there is something wrong, correct? It is until death do us part and if one breaks that then it is wrong. I believe that in our search to acknowledge our imperfections or 'contributions to the marriage' as they are called, and come to forgiveness of our ex-spouse, we can water down the idea that breaking vows is not right, and we have been betrayed. Christ expressed righteous indignation over the money changers in the Temple.
I don't want to bury facts. Betrayal happened to many of us on CM. We had made a lifetime commitment in front of God and man and we expected it to be permanent. We were not perfect spouses but there should have been no expectation of that. It is not fair but Jesus experienced betrayal as well and it is part of life and our Cross. I refuse to say it is okay what happened or make excuses for him bailing. I choose to move on and make the best of what God has allowed to happen to my marriage. He didn't want it either and He still loves my ex-spouse, I know, so with an act of will and compassion for him, I offer three Hail Mary's for him everyday. I feel at peace now about it but will never condone his actions or excuse them or assist him in his new life. Courteous, yes but condoning no. I pray he comes back to his Faith because, in Christian love, I want him to be in a State of Grace when he meets Our Lord.
This is a very thoughtful post Meg.... and so true...
I think you're right on. David's right in that there is no peace till we learn to forgive, but we have to know what it is we're forgiving before we will have the grace to do so... It takes such a long time to heal from the devastation of divorce because It tears us to shreds... not a clean break that heals quickly. Those hurts must be examined, taken apart under the light of grace & prayer, & sometimes with the help of someone we trust in order to discover the truth... "The truth shall set you free"
I read an article about forgiving too soon under the guise of Christian principals. (Wish I could remember where) The danger is that when we throw a blanket on it saying, "Everything's OK", without realizing it's a deep betrayal we didn't deserve, the wound festers & turns inward causing all kinds of infection inside... depression, irritability, lack of trust, timidity, foggy thinking, addictions.... The list goes on & on... Forgiveness IS possible & necessary for the health of our soul. It takes prayer, the sacraments, the willingness to forgive & time... IMHO