Faith Focused Dating. Create your Free Profile and meet your Match! Sign Up for Free

info: Please Sign Up or Sign In to continue.

A place to learn, mingle, and share

Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Many of you know I love this Christian Singles emagazine called Boundless, and there is an article therein today entitled "Why do I as a man have to do the initiating?" (referring to the asking out on dates, moving the relationship forward, etc.)

I think the treatment of the question is very important reading for us all, for men to act, and for women to desist in acting, and why it matters, so here is the link for your consideration:

www.boundless.org

LOCKED
12/06/2012 new

(Quote) Pat-5351 said: Many of you know I love this Christian Singles emagazine called Boundless, and there is an article th...
(Quote) Pat-5351 said:

Many of you know I love this Christian Singles emagazine called Boundless, and there is an article therein today entitled "Why do I as a man have to do the initiating?" (referring to the asking out on dates, moving the relationship forward, etc.)

I think the treatment of the question is very important reading for us all, for men to act, and for women to desist in acting, and why it matters, so here is the link for your consideration:

www.boundless.org

--hide--


We're so beat up from the hiding you women give us when we do approach. You ladies have succeeded at cowing us, so we back off.


Help us out. If you're interested in a guy LET HIM KNOW. We're clueless. You'll wither on the vine waiting for him to realise you like him and come after you.

LOCKED
12/06/2012 new

Interesting read, Pat. It gives me pause to think and pray about this. One good analogy might be that Christ is the bridegroom of the Church, and he initiated the Church. Duane

LOCKED
12/06/2012 new

(Quote) David-364112 said:   We're so beat up from the hiding you women give us when we do approach. You...
(Quote) David-364112 said:

 


We're so beat up from the hiding you women give us when we do approach. You ladies have succeeded at cowing us, so we back off.


Help us out. If you're interested in a guy LET HIM KNOW. We're clueless. You'll wither on the vine waiting for him to realise you like him and come after you.

--hide--


David there have been lots of men I was 'interested' in over the years..I've been burned often enough by their shocked that I would show interest to have become gun shy about making any kind of first move.. All I've got to say is that any man who leaves here disgruntled because he didn't have success has gotten what he deserved.. Because there are a great many of us women that would be thrilled to be getting contacts.. Many of us end up asking ourselves "What is wrong with me?" I have seen many men come here with 'a plan' to leave with a wife and do so.. I think too many drop the ball.. I get weary of only having penpals that lead nowhere.. Good grief guys..Just ask us out!!

LOCKED
12/06/2012 new

(Quote) Donna-83441 said: David there have been lots of men I was 'interested' in over the years..I'...
(Quote) Donna-83441 said:


David there have been lots of men I was 'interested' in over the years..I've been burned often enough by their that I would show interest to have become gun shy about making any kind of first move.. All I've got to say is that any man who leaves here disgruntled because he didn't have success has gotten what he deserved.. Because there are a great many of us women that would be thrilled to be getting contacts.. Many of us end up asking ourselves "What is wrong with me?" I have seen many men come here with 'a plan' to leave with a wife and do so.. I think too many drop the ball.. I get weary of only having penpals that lead nowhere.. Good grief guys..Just ask us out!!

--hide--


I too have seen men who wanted to find a wife, simply find one and leave with her! It can really work and they don't have to linger for long! I think women who have been ignored and who have felt varying types of rejection here have often just given up with "letting the guy know..." It GETS OLD. .....OLD.

If the men want to find a wife, I say to them ... keep your feet moving to find this woman who will be so blessed to be with you and respond to you.

If she says no..then keep moving forward to the next one. There are plenty of women here ..and many men see this as a candy store. No kidding.

LOCKED
12/06/2012 new
I agree totally. Take charge. I don't want to be in charge; I want to be open and encouraging but I want the man to be the leader.
LOCKED
12/06/2012 new

Yes, the analogy of the bridegroom and bride is accurate. However, as mentioned earlier the consequences of the woman refusing causes much strife. For example, I have gone dancing at a county bar attending 2-3x a month in South Carolina = not many Catholics. I gained the trust of men and women regulars twice my age since they knew I was not chasing women, even to the point of not staring. I would go up to a table of women and ask one to dance. If the first said "No" then I had almost zero chance of getting a "Yes" on her friend ( and no it was not a bachalorette party; those are off limits). I then walk down the floor and ask another woman. If she noticed the rejection, then she too had a high probabilty of giving rejection unless she saw my proficiency of dancing already. Then I go back and dance with a woman who has a son older than me.

Another aspect I have witnessed is that if I ask a woman out for a date or an innocent coffee trip after she would in my opinion flirt heavily (may be she is just generous), she would act horrified, then leave the social event never to come back to that dance club or social group. It has happen to my friends before; it appears some women are being fake and enjoy flirting until you call her out.

Another point is many women enjoy playing games like "Come closer so I can hit you" or "Pickin' on poor me?" or even "I knew you were like the others". Us men like to gauge the woman in the social setting to first see if she is friendly. To me if she wants to date immediately with no time in building some sense of friendship then I suspect her of something.

I just read a long list (40+ items of characteritics of a misogynist) You know what the women seemed to endorse the characteristics of five of the first ten listed! Ahhh...now I know I have poor luck...I am not a misogynist...shucks.

I agree with one comment earlier that a woman should heavily consider accepting that first date to give the man practice and confidence and for her to practice revealing and learning about a man. If a woman believes that she should not let a man have the practice, then I may know why she is reading this post. :) I have no problem asking everyone single woman out on a date at a party until I get a "Yes". It just I like to see if the group will support our dating...I don't want to "rescue" her from the group....which is the first listed trait of a misogynist. Just search that term with armor and rescue to see the list. Peace.

LOCKED
12/06/2012 new

okay search for CHARACTERISTICS OF A MISOGYNIST instead of click the lifeskill page.

LOCKED
12/06/2012 new

Well, here is an interesting statistic - According to my message logs, only 6% of contacted women on CM ever try to return a contact, even with a "no thanks". Ergo, the beating we take. It is tough! And I have never "not returned" a contact. It's just not proper. Is there a double standard?

LOCKED
12/06/2012 new
We do need to be kind. Where I live, our dance groups dance with everyone which I think is nice.
LOCKED
Posts 1 - 10 of 200