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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Dec 6th 2012 new

(Quote) Nancy-632072 said: David you are so annoying sometimes - good thing I like you
(Quote) Nancy-632072 said:

David you are so annoying sometimes - good thing I like you

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heartbeat just having fun.

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Dec 7th 2012 new

(Quote) David-364112 said: So, it's all up to the man? Whenever something doesn't work out it's bec...
(Quote) David-364112 said:


So, it's all up to the man? Whenever something doesn't work out it's because HE dropped the ball?? It can never be the other way around - i.e. HER doing?


There are plenty of wonderful marriagable women on CM. Moreso than any other dating site. But you won't find many of them on the forums. I'm starting to believe that this is the damaged floor models section of the furniture store. The marriageable women find a man, fallin love, and marry him. Those who are consitutionally incapable of sharing theirlives with ANYONE sit around carping and scolding men. I'm so fed up with that attitude many here espouse. Not you - you're always fair and never mean-spirited. But many women on these forums are pirahnas.



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Me too about the attitude!! (another amen Bro.) I agree again! WOW!

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Dec 7th 2012 new
(Quote) Wendy-387654 said: Well David......the whole point is, clueless or not, your gender is being called to step up...
(Quote) Wendy-387654 said:




Well David......the whole point is, clueless or not, your gender is being called to step up to the plate.





The author of the article points out:



"I don’t think you should need to know in advance that a woman is interested before you ask her out. I think it is part of our job as men to risk rejection and be the initiators of dates and dating relationships, and if you wait until she has gone out on a limb and made her interest known, you’re asking her to take the risk instead of taking it on yourself."






...just sayin'

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As a young man, I have had my fair share of rejections. Or I get put what my generation calls the "friendzone". It means I've been on more than one occasion that I am a great friend but thats it. After awhile it can get demoralizing (i'm not sure if I spelled that correctly) so I just wait and try trust in God that He will put what He wants in my path
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Dec 7th 2012 new

Please do not make such generalizations about women, David..especially those on forums. I am neither a damaged floor model nor a pirannah..I am someone who is seeking a life partner who will bring me closer to God and vice versa. I am not the kind to pinch heads off or one who delights in breaking another's spirit. A week or so ago there was a forum asking "Men, what trait do you find most valuable in a partner?". Most of course answered "good hearted", stating that looks fade quickly and so on. If that is the case, then why not respond to a friendly request to chat instead of "picture browsing" and moving on? What about seeking that "good heart"? Just speaking from my heart.

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Dec 7th 2012 new
(Quote) David-364112 said: So, it's all up to the man? Whenever something doesn't work out it's because H...
(Quote) David-364112 said:




So, it's all up to the man? Whenever something doesn't work out it's because HE dropped the ball?? It can never be the other way around - i.e. HER doing?




There are plenty of wonderful marriagable women on CM. Moreso than any other dating site. But you won't find many of them on the forums. I'm starting to believe that this is the damaged floor models section of the furniture store. The marriageable women find a man, fallin love, and marry him. Those who are consitutionally incapable of sharing theirlives with ANYONE sit around carping and scolding men. I'm so fed up with that attitude many here espouse. Not you - you're always fair and never mean-spirited. But many women on these forums are pirahnas.





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I am with you on this, David, that it seems to be a common occurrence for women to blame men on almost everything....here on CM, Facebook, etc.

Now back to the topic of men initiating....

if men have to take the risk of rejection, then women do not have a right to complain if they are not picked by a guy. The blade slices both ways. :)

And as a plus (obviously not applicable here, on a Catholic site): but as a man (who is supposed to initiate), I do not have to worry about being asked out by non-Catholics.
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Dec 7th 2012 new
(Quote) Christie-910934 said: Please do not make such generalizations about women, David..especially those on forums. I am neither a dama...
(Quote) Christie-910934 said:

Please do not make such generalizations about women, David..especially those on forums. I am neither a damaged floor model nor a pirannah..I am someone who is seeking a life partner who will bring me closer to God and vice versa. I am not the kind to pinch heads off or one who delights in breaking another's spirit. A week or so ago there was a forum asking "Men, what trait do you find most valuable in a partner?". Most of course answered "good hearted", stating that looks fade quickly and so on. If that is the case, then why not respond to a friendly request to chat instead of "picture browsing" and moving on? What about seeking that "good heart"? Just speaking from my heart.

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About responding to chat requests:

I can ask the same of women-why not respond to a request for chats? Or are women the only ones who get the chance to reject, whereas men have to accept every piece of correspondence? (*shrug*)
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Dec 7th 2012 new
I agree with you, Paul... it goes BOTH ways. I cannot speak for all women, just myself. I do respond to messages and chat requests, when I get them.
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Dec 7th 2012 new

I have asked many guys before I realised that it was the role of the man to lead in the relationship which meant he has to do the asking. I have not been rejected much at all in those days.

My mom thinks I am old fashioned because I expect the man to make the first move. laughing I feel that when I make the first move I get to weed out some guys based on my instincts and this makes me feel safe and secure in my decision about who I am with on a date. However I will never know if he was genuinely interested me and that is why he agreed to be out with me or because he did not know how to say 'no'. When a guy asks me out, I am certain that he is interested in me and I also get to say "yes" to what seems like the decent and gentlemen sort of guys.

Guys, you still need to ask us out. Otherwise both you guys and us women are going to keep renewing our membership on CM and writing in forums, and missing out on a nice dinner, chat and fun night and worst still the man and woman God has choosen for us.

Let us pray for consensus in this area. Praying

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Dec 7th 2012 new

(Quote) Josephine-611497 said: I have asked many guys before I realised that it was the role of the man to lead in the relat...
(Quote) Josephine-611497 said:

I have asked many guys before I realised that it was the role of the man to lead in the relationship which meant he has to do the asking. I have not been rejected much at all in those days.

My mom thinks I am old fashioned because I expect the man to make the first move. I feel that when I make the first move I get to weed out some guys based on my instincts and this makes me feel safe and secure in my decision about who I am with on a date. However I will never know if he was genuinely interested me and that is why he agreed to be out with me or because he did not know how to say 'no'. When a guy asks me out, I am certain that he is interested in me and I also get to say "yes" to what seems like the decent and gentlemen sort of guys.

Guys, you still need to ask us out. Otherwise both you guys and us women are going to keep renewing our membership on CM and writing in forums, and missing out on a nice dinner, chat and fun night and worst still the man and woman God has choosen for us.

Let us pray for consensus in this area.

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I think that we need to be inviting and "open the door" for a man to approach us if we are interested. We can be warm and friendly ...but online it is more difficult, However there are many ways to let a man know we are open to him. Tonight I basically asked a man to sit next to me because of what I said to him.... I think it has taken me a long time to relax around this guy in order to tease with him as I did, and ask him to sit next to me, but I am happy I did it...

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Dec 7th 2012 new

(Quote) Paul-302787 said: About responding to chat requests: I can ask the same of women-why not respond to a reque...
(Quote) Paul-302787 said:

About responding to chat requests:

I can ask the same of women-why not respond to a request for chats? Or are women the only ones who get the chance to reject, whereas men have to accept every piece of correspondence? (*shrug*)
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Many women do not like chats and would rather correspond in emails. Those take more time but it can be a better indicator of more. Many women do not want to chat with someone who is just impulsively asking and has not read their profile. Many women dislike the chat feature and would prefer a more time intensive (but not tied down,) structured communication.

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